Parenting during a global pandemic: Don't be so hard on yourself and your feelings are valid
*This post was originally publised on my blog, LadydeeLG.com: Parenting during Covid-19: Don't be so hard on yourself and your feelings are valid. I wanted to share it with the MomsRising community because I know we are feeling all the things. What you're feeling is valid, this isn't a time to just brush off our emotions! This is something we've never experienced before! Don't forget your MomsRising community is here for you!
Are you trying to survive quarantine with kids? Has Parenting during COVID-19 driving you a little bit crazy? Do you feel like your kids are testing you every. minute. of. the. damn. day?
I want you to know: mamas, dads, and everyone else reading this… I want you to know, that you’re doing a good job. I know you may think you’re not, but trust me, I am 99% sure that you are, and that you’re being hard on yourself.
If you’ve lost your sh*t, trust me, I’ve been there. It is OK… we are only human. Our kids will lose their shit too. Their schedules have been upended. They are stuck in tiny apartments with US. They want to eat junk food and play video games all day long (which, if you listen to my son talking to his third grade friends, he swears it is all he did). But, we have to pause and put ourselves in their shoes… we would probably be losing it too. At least as adults we can eat whatever we want, shower whenever we want, watch whatever we want. We are always telling our kids what to do… When I stop to think about it, It’s understandable that they lose it too.
It’s also understandable when we lose it, because DAMN it… how many times are we supposed to say GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH, PUT ON YOUR SOCKS, SET THE TABLE PLEASE… TURN OFF THE LIGHT WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR ROOM (guys, I am DREADING THAT electricity bill!!!).
If I may, I want to share some things I’ve learned while I’ve been on quarantine for what feels like 2345423 days.
Parenting during COVID…
First, it’s OK to stay in your PJs all day. And it’s OK to feel like you have to put on makeup and cover your undereye circles and pretend you’re having a meeting if you’re not. YOU DO YOU BOO. Whatever makes you feel better. If you want to glam up DO THAT. If you wanna dress down, do that! Do whatever makes you feel a little bit better about this whole situation.
It’s OK that dry shampoo is your BFF.
And it’s OK that Benefit concealer is your BFF.
It’s OK to eat breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast. Are there really food rules anymore?
It’s OK to hide in the bathroom. Or, take a slightly longer shower, or pretend you’re pooping and lock the door so the kids don’t come in.
It’s ok to find comfort in mundane things like washing dishes or doing laundry (both which I confess I have found comfort in).
It’s OK to get completely lost in a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle, and be more excited about it than your kid.
It’s OK to make your kids eat vegetables and you eat Cheetos for dinner (please tell me that it isn’t only me…)
It’s OK to be great one day and be totally sad the next. Rollercoaster of emotions over here.
It is OK to not watch the news… actually, please ration the news that you watch because it can’t be good for our mental health to watch 24/7 coverage.
It is OK to CRY.
It is OK to take a break from real life and get lost in painting with your kids.
It is OK to want to SCREAM. I thought about doing this a few days ago, but I thought that I’d scare my neighbors.
It is OK to CRY (saying it again because it needs repeating).
It’s OK to take time to do something that isn’t related to your kids and that is only for yourself.
It’s OK to feel joy, even if for a moment.
It’s OK to feel overwhelmed at remote learning, and curse the person who thought that expecting kids to be online for a whole school day would be a good idea.
It’s OK to feel like you don’t know how to process your emotions, because, we have never been in a global pandemic before.
It’s OK to feel like you need a mental break.
It’s OK to want to bake. It’s OK to want to cook. It's OK to want to order take out (also, please support your local restaurants! They definitely need our support!)
It’s OK to want to seek professional help.
It’s OK to get scared and question bringing kids into this world.
It’s OK to want to laugh. Please, find something that makes you laugh.
It’s OK to laugh when you cry.
It's OK to be angry and want things to CHANGE! It's OK to be mad at the broken systems we have. It's OK to want to demand more from our elected officials. (Let's DO IT!) (Now is a perfect time to say... have you signed up to be a MomsRising member? Do it! Do it!
It IS NOT OK to lose hope. Hope is our superpower. Remember that. and HOPE coupled with ACTION will CHANGE OUR WORLD, let's do it!
*Diana is a social media consultant with MomsRising. She is also the creator of LadydeeLG.com where she writes about raising bilingual kids and the creator of Parenting and Politics podcast. She has been a MomsRising member since 2012 when she realized that there was no paid leave in New York and she got angry at all the stuff that the rest of the developed world has that the USA doesn't have. She cares deeply about the issues that affect moms and families and wants all moms to use their power to make change!