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I wrote this post ,on my phone, this morning at 2:25 .

It’s 2 in the morning and I just gave my son his asthma medicine. 2 puffs of Albuterol.  Out of nowhere, he started to cough in the middle of his sleep. The first cough woke me up and the first thing that came to my mind was, seriously?  You have got to be kidding me.  He’s covered up, no air/wind/draft hitting him. He’s asleep!!!!

It’s my fault.

I skipped the Albuterol last night to try and decrease the amount of medicine he inhales.  I’m so stupid.  Stupid, stupid mistake. He’s been getting 2 puffs, every 4 hours of the albuterol.  We are doing this for the next 3 weeks.

We have been battling asthma since July of 2010 and I must confess to you all that I. HATE. ASTHMA.  I hate it in the sense that it messes with my son’s breathing.  His breathing!  This is so freaking scary.  He’s missed a whole week of school because of the oral steroids. He can’t play with his friends. He can’t play outside. Nothing physical.

Last Tuesday, he went from zero medications to 4 different meds. On top of the Albuterol, he’s on QVAR, Prednisolone and antihistamines. Oh Lord. He’s only 48 lbs. and he as all these medicines in his system.

Now I’m lying awake, watching and listening to my son breath. Making sure it sounds normal. Praying that the medicine quickly takes away the cough, blinking back the tears and thinking to myself….

 

Why?

 

This article originally appeared at Thoughts of a Mommy.


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