The Mother of All Strikes
Posted May 9th, 2009 by Amy CrossThese days between May day and Mothers’ day, it seems the perfect moment to suggest a little something for moms from the labor movement–a strike.
That’s right, I want mothers everywhere to walk off the job, excepting single moms who are essential workers.
For at least 24 hours, or as long as you can hold out, I want everyone to stop making breakfast-lunch-and-dinner and loading the dishwasher. Stop matchmaking socks without soul-mates. Stop combing tangles and playing lego.
Sex is okay—and more enjoyable when you are released from the bondage of housework (and when your hands don’t smell like rubber gloves).
However, there would be a work to rule provision – if the other domestic partner is absent, your childrens’ needs should be addressed–as slowly as possible.
If you aren’t one of America’s double-shift mothers, you’ve probably seen the TV specials on the reality of many working moms: they wake up before dawn to make two meals, do day care drop offs, work, then come home to cook, clean and get ready for the next day. They can fall asleep just by sitting down.
If you are a double shift mother, you may have already fallen asleep.
What better way to show America the value of mothers than by taking them away. As Joni Mitchell said, you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.
And they will miss us. This idea of withholding mothering has inspired a reality show in the UK and Canada called The Week The Women Went. The moms go on vacation, not strike; the seven days that follow involve clothes dried on stove elements, kids soaped and hosed down on trampolines and other domestic disasters. It’s in the second season.
Even when a TV crew is not watching men are helping it more. Still women are still doing most of the work at home. A 2007 study by the Labor Department, showed that on an average day just 20% of men did housework, compared to 52% of women and just 37% men did food prep or cleanup, compared to 64% of women.
That same accounting of daily lives showed that men enjoyed about 40 more minutes of leisure a day—it doesn’t sound like much, but seems like a long time when you’re cleaning up errant toys off the floor, and scrubbing pots while someone else gets to sit down.
Although men are not doing that much housework, it doesn’t mean they don’t think they are. A few months ago, the Families and Work Institute released a study showing that men do more childcare, cooking and household tasks than in 1992-2008. Or at least that’s what they report.
However, women don’t feel they are doing less than 16 years ago. The percentage of women who say they do ALL housework remained the same 73%. The percentage of women who say they did all the cooking went from 75% of full time cooks to 70%. Not such big leap forward in the women’s eyes. And this makes them cranky.
There is progress; That same Families and Work Institute’s study reported that mothers are teaching their sons to help: younger fathers share more equitably than Gen-xers.
The purpose of the strike is two-fold.
1. To encourage fathers to participate even more in the tasks of family life. This would be a good idea, if they want to get a nice fathers’ Day present and if they want more sex. Aphrodisiacs aren’t ingredients—it’s the cooking of any food, which turns women on.
It will improve marital satisfaction and cut down on divorce. Lots of research shows a link between division of chores and happiness in marriage. We know that women initiate divorce more often, and some scholars suggest that unequal division of household chores helps spark a split. Losing a husband lightens many women’s double shift.
2. To remind America that mothers keep good portion of the country fed, clothed, and taken care of—but still do not get paid time off to have a baby, nurse the baby, to take care of a sick child or to be sick themselves. Nor is there a good childcare system or laws that support flexible work options.
And we really haven’t asked for much.
So on Mother’s Day, enjoy your breakfast in bed and gush over your school-made crafts. But don’t lift a finger. Start the strike and show the entire country just how much we do. Maybe then we can renegotiate.
14 Comments
Yeah, all you ladies go on strike and you might find out at home, workplace, etc..they’re plenty of women who are (waiting in the wings) to take your place. Are you so confident/sure of yourselves to know 100% that your employer, husband, etc. would hold your place until you returned…….you might better think again. Things have a way of coming back to bite you in the butt.
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May 12, 2009 at 2:39 pm by WhitneyI am a young mother of three, I work full time and I am on call 24/7. I don’t have any reason to walk out on my family or my job because I chose my life and love every minute of it. I have to agree with Anonymous – if you want things to be 50/50 – you need to communicate with your husband. My husband can cook, clean, and do laundry just as well (If not better) than I can. I take our newborn daughter to work with me and he takes our other children to daycare. We created a schedule that we thought was fair – we work as a team and we do the best we can for eachother and our children.
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May 12, 2009 at 7:28 am by ChrisThis entire cause is laughable. Are you kidding me? I have never seen such a whiny bunch of self serving drivel.
If you’re a stay at home mom, then shut up. Someone is already taking care of you. If you are a working mom by choice, you chose it…shut up. If you are a working mom through necessity, life sucks, but it sucks for a lot of people.
Special interest politics is what has killed our economy and our country. This cause is so stupid I am speechless.
My mom is rolling over in her grave. Motherhood is NOT a political cause you morons.
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May 11, 2009 at 3:06 pm by Elayne WatsonYes, back in the 60′s Mom’s, for the most part, did stay at home and, also, in the early 70′s. However, THE WOMEN’S MOVEMENT came along…BURN OUR BRA MOVEMENT…THE LIBERATED MOVEMENT CAME ALONG. Women who were, stay at home Moms, couldn’t enjoy it because THOSE STUPID IDIOTS wouldn’t leave us alone. Well, look at you now, same thing, in just a different way.
The young women of today from 19 years to 45 years of age, if they work outside the home, they scream 50/50 which I taught my sons, if your wife works then you should help at home. The only problem I am hearing, these young women of today WILL NOT DO ANYTHING WHEN THEY GET IN FROM WORK…they say, I am tired, I have been working all day, got the kids off to school. Whoopee, so did I….two sons, worked 40 or more hours per week, house straight before leaving for work, washed ALL the clothes, cooked ALL the meals, cleaned yards or hired someone to do it, helped with homework, bought groceries, paid bills, took kids to dentist/doctor, on and on. Helen Ready use to sing, I am woman, hear me roar…..well, I listened to her and tried that Liberated scene….it almost, tore my family apart…..I CAN SAY WITH ALL PRIDE….NO,Helen Ready and women like you, you listen, “I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR.” A REAL WOMAN can stand up to the plate and knock the ball out of the park…it takes guts, determination, LOVE for her husband and/or family to do what she is to do!!!!
You and your kind, are wimpy, lazy, spoiled little brats who want to take the next generation of women DOWN with you. With Pride, I say, You are wrong and young women shouldn’t listen to you at all.
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May 10, 2009 at 4:46 pm by AnonymousLadies, it’s called opening your mouth and talking with your partner. I married my husband and knew that he was the type of guy who believes in helping out. We tag team each other over our child, household duties, etc. So, if your husband was not the type of guy to pick up after themselves, don’t be surprised when they don’t do it after you’re married. And, if you’re kids don’t pick up after themselves, then it’s because you’ve never taught them to do it. Quick picking up after them and teach them how to take responsibility for themselves.Women need tell it like it is, instead of “indirect” hints of having they’re husbands try and “guess” what they’re thinking or what they want. Women can be their own worst enemy.
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May 10, 2009 at 1:59 pm by betty crockerDoes refusing to do anything amount to more than tantrum throwing? I do know men who are relatively lazy around the home, but I also know men who contribute equally or more. And I certainly know women who are lazy as well.
How about encouraging women to make smart choices in selecting relationships so they do not resort to stomping their feet and griping when their poor decisions result in actions/reactions they didn’t want.
Yes, women still do most of the housework because women are still the primary managers of the home. I personally find your statistics encouraging because it indicates that with the evolution of familial responsibilities outside the home, we are also seeing a parallel trend in the home. I am seeing more and more men coming to school functions
The logic of this universal strike would mean that men should pick a Monday to also wholly go on strike (no playing catch or volunteering as a coach, helping with homework, reading a book, mowing the lawn, repairing the broken toilet, changing oil in the car, taking the family to dinner, going to work to earn a living, etc) to show what their value to society is. Would that have a positive effect?!? No. If we as women don’t take ownership of our responsibilities and continue to blame everything on men, we will reap the “rewards” of a sexist, down-trodden mindset and agenda.
How about some woman power, not woman cower and complain? Use the powers you have as a woman to praise and encourage behavior in a positive way (not attempt to punish – ask any animal trainer
and you will get the results that will make you and your families happier.
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amy cross Reply:
May 29th, 2009 at 10:40 am
@betty crocker, THanks for replying to the story.
I feel like the culture doesn’t give value to the invisible work of mothering. My idea to NOT do anything for a few days comes from a desire for our families and our society to see how much we give…and we do give. We suffer financially for our choices to spend time with our children–which does matter once you’re old, divorce and w/o the same kind of pension the main breadwinner had. Other countries manage this better with public policies–that give benefits to part time workers etc.
With a soubriquet like yours I am sure you’re a good mother.
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A national women’s strike from traditional domestic and child duties happened in Iceland at least once. The men had to deal with all child and domestic duies as well as having to do a full day’s job. There was a near 100% participation.
The first time it happened-over 20 years ago, it launched a women’s political party.
Iceland is a lot smaller than the US and Canada (where I live), so the challenge is in the organization, but a women’s strike from traditional female unpaid work sure would pack a punch, and it would be amazing to have a political party led by women that could grow out of it!
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amy cross Reply:
May 29th, 2009 at 10:45 am
@maja ardal, Thanks for your comment.
I didn’t know that about Iceland–despite having researched this idea. (It’s been in my mind ever since I was an editor at Chatelaine and saw how much the readers did and put up with.)
I’m glad to know it resulted in some real action.
I live in Canada too, and am lucky I had my half American babies here. I so enjoyed my EI cheque!
I am amazed how women can pay taxes and expect so little in return.
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For years I’ve been thinking of a Woman’s Strike on International Women’s Day. I started thinking of it on the International Women’s Day when my then boyfriend, unemployed by choice, phoned me at my entry-level service job to ask me where the sausages were. Did I mention that this was in the lunchtime rush? Did I mention that every woman in the lineup heard me say “Well if they’re not in the fridge, I don’t know where else they’d be.”, and smiled in recognition? Did I mention that he’s no longer my boyfriend?
Anyway, yeah. One day of work stoppage by every woman in the free world. Don’t phone in sick, phone in female. Take the day off. Smell the flowers. Let ‘em fend for themselves for 24 hours. Let’s set a date & do it?
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May 10, 2009 at 1:40 am by TerryI’ve been calling for a strike for over 20 years, ladies! And always — no one will take me seriously. My idea? ALL WOMEN, in EVERY job, including housewife, WALK OUT!
ALL WOMEN WALK OUT ON THEIR JOBS FOR A MINIMUM OF TWO DAYS.
Although the world would not be reduced to utter chaos, it would certainly shake things up!
Give us our due! NOW … or face possible strike, OR … revolution!
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May 9, 2009 at 10:45 pm by Mybutterfly82Mom’s are very powerful. Especially when it does come to our children and family. We are out to protect and save them. We will fight till the end or until we get what we need to do.
My son would not let me give up or quit. Got a bill passed in his name.
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