Jean Fay

    Promise to my mom

    Posted June 12th, 2013 by

    As an educator working in a first grade classroom, I watched in horror on December 14, 2012, as the images of Sandy Hook flashed across my phone, my television screen, my Facebook and Twitter feeds. As someone who grew up in Newtown, I watched in shock, and then enormous sadness, as I saw the images of my beautiful town, my schools, and my church.

    My mother, Peggy Gloria, is a retired paraeducator from the Newtown school system. We’ve had many tearful conversations since December 14th. It was my mother who asked me the question, “When will we stop putting politics before the safety of children?”. I told her, now, now is the time to do something.

    My school district had a lock down drill shortly after December 14th. As I stood in my first grade classroom with my colleague during the drill, I remember the two of us talking about how we thought we could fit all 17 of our students in the classroom closet if we needed to. Then we stopped-why are we having conversations about hiding children in closets? We should be having conversations about how we can provide safe and nurturing environments for all children to learn.

    I’ve talked about the need to provide better mental health resources for school age children to everyone I knew. The fact that school districts, my own included, were even discussing cutting school guidance counselor positions was maddening to me. We need more guidance counselors, not fewer. As a member of my District Attorney’s office Citizen Advisory Board, I brought up mental health resources as a theme for our second Safe School Summit, planned for November 20, 2013. I’ve used my position on the Massachusetts Teachers Association Board of Directors, as well as my contacts within the National Education Association to create a partnership between the MTA and the Northwestern District Attorney’s Office. The Safe School Summit will bring together Education Support Professionals-paraeducators, bus drivers, school secretaries, cafeteria workers, guidance counselors, classroom teachers, school committee members, staff from the District Attorney’s office, and experts in the field of mental health.

    Since December 14th I’ve cried many times. It is still difficult for me to talk about my town, Newtown, without getting choked up. I cry every Friday when I sign onto the Friday Facebook Dance Party in honor of Sandy Hook Elementary Principal Dawn Hochsprung. I cry, but I am hopeful. Hopeful that people will not forget what happened in Newtown. Hopeful that people will realize that we don’t need to arm our schools with guns, we need to arm our schools with better mental health resources. Hopeful that people will realize that change can happen.

    Those that know me know that I don’t give up easily. I promised my mom I would do whatever I could, that I wouldn’t stop until I made a difference. Don’t worry mom- I haven’t stopped.


    This post is part of the project, ”Sorrow, Anger, ACTION! – A Gathering of Voices Against Gun Violence,” organized by MomsRising, PICO Network, UltraViolet, Children’s Defense Fund and the National Network to End Domestic Violence.

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    June 14, 2013 at 4:50 pm by Julie

    As a prior school nurse and a mother….a mother to a child with a mental illness, the daughter,sister and mother…of relatives with mental illness. It is a forbidden topic in public and not treated the same as diseases we can “see” If I told you my child had cancer or diabetes you would offer your help and mean it. If I were to tell you my daughter has bi-polar or severe depression…most people, would be frightened and show their support with a crooked “compassionate” smile..but that would likely be the end of it.
    I have been a nurse for half of my life, 21 years. I have dealt with mental illness personally and professionally. I can attest to the fact that you practically need a PhD in order to decipher what is “best” for the mentally ill person. It is a crap shoot with little support. As I previously stated, a child with cancer who receives chemo is typically bald, we can see it. a diabetic child has a pump or is testing their sugar…WE CAN SEE IT – the positive and negative outcomes. Mental illness is NOT clear cut….It is trial and error. If the patient receives the wrong meds…you try and try again BUT nobody sees, only witness negative behavior-withdrawl, cutting, acting out, seclusion; society calls them weird or messed up ( or worse) Mental health support IS the answer…kudos to you and if you disagree and yo think YOU can protect your kids….GOOD LUCK I am sure when this mother was killed prior to those innocent children, she spent many a day and night terrified about the well being and health of her child too! Nobody thinks THEIR child could do such a thing, nobody thinks their child COULD suffer so horribly. We do the best we can….in and out of schools. As school staff and parents but we cannot close the door on the bottom line. GOOD FOR YOU FOR THIS MOVEMENT!!


    June 13, 2013 at 12:59 pm by Anonymous

    It’s emotionally painful to learn that your perceptions of safety are nothing but illusion. As an educator, my children are MY responsibility, and I have no such illusions.

    And my kids are safe.


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