Is Pumping the Only Option for Breastfeeding Mamas Who Work?
Posted February 5th, 2009 by Sonya LunderA couple weeks back I circulated Jill Lepore’s New Yorker article about the breast pump to my closest friends of facebook.
The article raised some hackles from friends who felt like it was too critical of the commitment made by pumping mamas. And what is to criticize? Pumping takes a heroic effort.
My girlfriends have collectively pumped an incredible volume of our milk—in offices, plane bathrooms and their vehicles. Some made it past a year, while others found the whole act too burdensome or physically impossible to make it that long.
Rose’s pump traveled with her to Ethopia and Mexico City this year before she laid down the “no travel” rule with her boss.
Another friend, Jenna—a medical resident at the time—had to pump in front of colleagues during morning patient meetings. One supervisor had the gall to suggest her three-month-old didn’t really need that much of her milk. Her specialty? Pediatrics.
Maija returned to law school (2+ hours from home) with a two-month-old daughter in tow. Despite this, she maintained her marriage, sanity and pumping routine.
While we are proud of these efforts they obscure the fact that in addition to a major effort on our parts, successfully pumping is also dependent on certain workplace factors that are anything BUT guaranteed.
What if the boss insists you travel? What if there is nowhere to pump? Or no time to do it? What about the millions of mothers for whom pumping isn’t even an option? The babies who don’t take bottles? My employer was respectful and sympathetic. But in today’s world our most earnest efforts can be tripped up by a number of things beyond our control.
The New Yorker article forced me to step back and see what a unique generation we are (These pumps weren’t even sold 10 years ago!). But sadly this piece of technology, while enabling me to do a job I love, has also constrained my thinking about the range of needs and options for women who want or need to return to work.
We desperately need broader protections for working mamas. I know none of you will argue against that. But this can’t just mean resources to support pumping. What’s also needed is on-site childcare, flexible work schedules, job sharing, universal health coverage for children (a factor in my return to work), and the requirement for employers to hold our jobs for us while we tend our newborns. Of course, the idea of paid parental leave is almost erased from our consciousness, but still completely normal in the remainder of the industrialized world.
The most mind-blowing responses to the New Yorker piece were from women in other countries who confessed that they hadn’t previously understood American mothers’ obsession with their pumps.
While we have plenty of reasons to be proud of our accomplishments, we are all playing with a limited deck. Also among my working mamas:
Kirsten managed to work about 30 hours per week this winter with zero daycare for her 10+ month old daughter. Ever tried typing standing up with a napping kid on your back? She has.
Mona stayed home for 5 months with her son, but also managed about 30 hours per week because her office was short-staffed at the time.
Kristina went back to work full-time 6 weeks post-partum. She had used up all her vacation and sick leave when her mother passed away the year before.
Greta brought both her kids into the office with her for the first year.
Tracy and Amy are nurses, but work night shift to minimize childcare (which is also hard to arrange with their variable work schedules).
So how did the transition back to work happen for you? Did you luck out with a job that offered privacy and flexibility? Did your partner help wash pump parts and pack you extra snacks when you got discouraged? Did you decide to forego pumping to ease the stress and spend less time at work? Could you step away from your job for months or years without worrying you could never go back?
And finally—what would you need to “make it work,” meaning to achieve that ideal balance of work and time at home during your child(ren)’s first year?
9 Comments
February 6, 2009 at 4:33 pm by Sonya Lunder“It’s ridiculous to ask our jobs to accommodate, wholesale, our need to pump.”
Now why in the world can’t we ask for that?
I fully respect mother’s choices–be it to feed their own milk, formula or stay home with their children. Formula isn’t awful, but by limiting women’s ability to pump, employers are making that choice for mothers, which might work for you, but feel terribly wrong for many others.
My point, was that mothers also need other options. And if you argue that employers shouldn’t be burdened to provide space to pump, then I wonder how you propose we address children’s health coverage, paid parental leave and other vital workplace reforms that will require employers participation.
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February 8, 2009 at 12:57 pm by AnonymousOf course we should ask for what we need. I think it’s reasonable to ask for space to pump in an office environment. In my industry, it’s reasonable to work from home on a regular basis or take a longer lunch to go home and breastfeed. We absolutely need support from our employers. I just worry that we shoot ourselves in the foot when we make UNreasonable demands or when we decide what those demands are for all women.
For example, what if I was a manager at a high-stress restaurant, and one of my employees demanded 30 minutes to pump at dinner time, requiring all the other employees to cover for her? That would be a difficult demand to accommodate — not because I want to keep mothers down, but because there are business demands I need to take care of.
If I want to be in the workplace as a mother, I have to negotiate smartly. I have to make sure my employer’s first priority — getting the work done — is met. Otherwise, do I really want to be a working mom? If breastfeeding is really, really important to some mothers, I would wonder whether they would consider staying at home until breastfeeding is done.
That, of course, begs the question of why our maternal leave is 6 weeks, when breastfeeding is recommended for a year, and why the heck is our healthcare tied to work? These are some serious, serious problems that need to be solved, and I’m not sure it can be one office at a time.
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February 12, 2009 at 11:45 pm by RheaI’ll never forget when I had my children (now 7, 2, and 1) how guilty I felt going back to work after only 6 weeks. I think that it is important to state that NOTHING beats the breast. I’ll never forget the day I got so frustrated with my son and tried giving him formula (the nurses were giving it to him in the NICU and I didn’t even notice it at first). He was so constipated that I decided to continue breastfeeding him. But when I returned to work and had to pump my milk, there was simply no where that accommodated pumping and storing my milk. So I sat my then boss down and requested to use one of the empty offices whenever I needed. I made sure to present it in true proposal style so that he could see the value in having a happy mommy “aka” happy coworker.
Let us not give companies a break here. I find that with the 12 years that I’ve worked in HR, there are so many discriminatory practices towards moms that it shocks me.
As long as your not like the Mom Still Breastfeeding Her 8 Year Old, I’m open to having more choices for working mothers.
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February 10, 2009 at 10:58 am by Allison NazarianThe issue isn’t who breasfeeds/pumps and who doesn’t. The issue is that in the U.S. (I can’t speak for other countries, though it seems most are way ahead of us), we’re just not “there.” We’re better than we were, but we’re still talking about issues that just shouldn’t be issues.
Any mom who wants to pump or breastfeed should be able to and it should be easy to (as easy as pumping can be) and she shouldn’t have to explain herself to anyone. Similarly, any mom who needs to travel for work, or wants to work part-time and still feel “relevant” or believes that formula is more than enough is entitled to have choices too. But the sad truth is that a) there aren’t enough real choices in any of these areas and b) we’re all still just a tad bit too judgemental of one another — not because we’re bad people, but because our choices are limited so we feel a bit frustrated at times.
I personally became my own boss when my kids (now 9 & 11) were 2 & 4 because what I wanted didn’t match with what I saw out there. Working full-time on my terms is something I am grateful for — and sometime I know many moms don’t have. Same with breast-feeding. And pumping. And just about everything else.
I like to say “live and let live” — we ‘re all in this together, so let’s find ways to make everyone happy and healthy and satisfied. Ok off my soapbox….:-)
Allison Nazarian
WorkingMomLifeline.com
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February 10, 2009 at 10:58 am by Allison NazarianThe issue isn’t who breasfeeds/pumps and who doesn’t. The issue is that in the U.S. (I can’t speak for other countries, though it seems most are way ahead of us), we’re just not “there.” We’re better than we were, but we’re still talking about issues that just shouldn’t be issues.
Any mom who wants to pump or breastfeed should be able to and it should be easy (as easy as pumping can be) and she shouldn’t have to explain herself to anyone. Similarly, any mom who needs to travel for work, or wants to work part-time and still feel “relevant” or believes that formula is more than enough is entitled to have choices too. But the sad truth is that a) there aren’t enough real choices in any of these areas and b) we’re all still just a tad bit too judgemental of one another — not because we’re bad people, but because our choices are limited so we feel a bit frustrated at times.
I personally became my own boss when my kids (now 9 & 11) were 2 & 4 because what I wanted didn’t match with what I saw out there. Working full-time on my terms is something I am grateful for — and something I know many moms don’t have. Same with breast-feeding. And pumping. And just about everything else.
I like to say “live and let live” — we ‘re all in this together, so let’s find ways to make everyone happy and healthy and satisfied. Ok off my soapbox….:-)
Allison Nazarian
WorkingMomLifeline.com
http://www.WorkingMomLifeline.com/blog
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February 11, 2009 at 1:06 pm by AnonymousNo, we are not overvaluing mother’s milk. It is NOT “just food.” Breastmilk does another extremely important thing for babies that formula cannot: it provides them with antibodies that strengthen the immune system. Please, don’t take my word for it – look it up!
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February 5, 2009 at 10:16 pm by AnonymousListen, I’m a superfeminist and a new mom and I believe in breastfeeding. However. It’s ridiculous to ask our jobs to accommodate, wholesale, our need to pump. Sometimes it works, sometimes it makes sense, and sometimes it doesn’t. I absolutely believe that our workplaces should be able to support us as parents, but I also think the desire to feed our babies breastmilk might be just a tiny bit overrated.
Seriously, is formula really that awful? When I went back to work at three months (and I was very grateful to have that much time), I was operating on half breastfeeding, half formula. Honestly, I just didn’t feel bad. I think sometimes that the modern breastfeeding movement is intent on me being attached to my child 24 hours a day, and my baby was perfectly happy drinking a bottle from my husband, then her caregiver. Are we overvaluing our mother’s milk to feel we’re necessary and connected? It’s just food.
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February 6, 2009 at 12:23 pm by RosieI agree with the article in terms of support for all. I think the most awful thing about being a mother is all the other critical mothers I meet from working mothers to home makers to everything in between. We have not yet dispelled the cape of criticism that we are taught to use against other women (look up relational aggression in social work). I am surrounded by beautiful, working mothers, homemakers, lactating women, young mothers, older mothers, health professionals, educators, business women. I am thankful for all my perspectives and generally stay away from blogging so I don’t have to respond to judgmental assertions of individuals who can only advocate their own causes. The true character of individuals is not how we can advocate for ourselves (if you are empowered than this is easy) but, it is when we can advocate for others (look up federation for children with special needs in massachusetts).
I will not reveal all the aspects of my working mother situation since it wouldn’t be useful to this discussion. I will say that in health care, we take care of all sick patients (young, working adults, and elderly but, young at heart) with as minimal criticism to unhealthy, personally motivated, poor health habits. Yes, there are abusive and arrogant health professionals, but thankfully, I work with amazing individuals who are not at the finest institution for children in boston….
In the spirit of unity, as a cohesive front, let’s focus on accommodating ALL maternal and child health aspects that can produce a more productive and healthy society (nationally and internationally).
To your health,
Rosie
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February 6, 2009 at 12:01 pm by Anonymousto the previous commenter, I think the point is that each mother should be able to provide for her child in the way she thinks is best — maybe a mix of formula and breastmilk worked for you, but maybe it doesn’t for another mother. breastfeeding aside, this country doesn’t make it easy to be a working mother — and yet it’s not so hard on working fathers. that’s the point of this article to me, and I totally agree that there need to be more protections for working mothers.
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