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Your ignorance is beyond comprehension. Obviously, YOU have no idea because (i) you’re a man and have a wife at home, (ii) deadbeat parent who can’t be bothered with kids, or (iii) you are childless (which I truly hope is the case). Therefore, branch out and go bark up another tree….

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Your comments are quite encouraging. I have often toyed with the idea of moving abroad to raise my daughter but am afraid to as it would be just the 2 of us. Was it difficult to adjust to a new lifestyle and was it difficult to find work as an American?

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I have had the privilege of working for many large firms in the past, and must say that sick/vacation policies have changed somewhat in the employers’ favor. I work in the legal field and had worked in the big City but because I am a single parent, decided to take a cut in pay to be closer to home for my child’s sake. In that regard, it has big bonuses because I am able to get home within 20 minutes versus a solid one hour commute. However, with this move came big sacrifices in terms of sick/vacation time. I left a job that allowed me 1 mo. off after 2 years of employment whereas I have to wait until my 11th year here to earn 1 mo. Additionally, sick time must be accrued in advance of illness (go figure?) before I get paid for time taken. Therefore, I typically use up all of my time (both sick and vacation) before I can even accrue a day to take off! I only earn 3 weeks vacation now (after 6 years) and get 11 sick days but between a sick child and myself, I never have enough time to go around. I have not had a real vacation (4 days or more consecutively) in the entire almost 8 years that I have been with this firm. Furthermore, the firm will not allow people to take time off without pay because, according to HR, it is too difficult for Accounting to track! The bottom line is they do not want people to take the time off because it will cost them money to hire additional help to fill in. This is otrocious and insulting to our so-called American Family Values that the policitians keep talking about.

As a footnote, at one of my previous firms, when I was pregnant, I was “written up” as being away from my desk too frequently (because I had to go to the bathroom). I had my dr. write a note to HR explaining that in my condition I had to get up and urinate frequently! I was appalled. Then to make matters worse, HR subtly told me that when she was pregnant she decided to get an abortion because it would have hindered her career options!!! (hint, hint)

Then while at another firm when my child was an infant and sick, I was told by that HR department to hire a nurse to take care of my 6-mo. old baby! I was outraged that HR tried to bully me into making a decision between my baby or my job!

Will our country ever become family friendly and really embrace true family values where family actually will be the priority? If we did, perhaps there would not be so many dysfunctions in this society… sigh. (Sorry for the deviation but I feel that if sick/vacation time policy was tailored to benefit everyone, this would not be such an issue).

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I guess I shouldn’t be posting here. I’m 28 years old, and American, but I have decided to try life in France, which treats women, workers, and especially female workers, with the respect and dignity they deserve as human beings.

Growing up, I noticed the choices women are forced to make in the US. My mom quit pursuing her own dreams to take care of the kids, a choice she says she doesn’t regret. But at the same time, left her completely dependent on my dad and with nothing to do when the kids were grown. My mom has friends who chose the other path, the career path, and are now childless and somewhat regretful of their choices.

In France, women are more free to do both, thanks to a particular brand of feminism that recognizes the difficulty of having and raising children. We all know now there is maternity leave, paternity leave, paid sick days, and tons of vacation here. And the result is a one of the highest fertility rates in Europe.

American feminism, by contrast, seems to expect women to be like men. This attitude forces women to decide to be mothers or workers. We all know doing both is downright impossible for a lot of women in America.

Frankly, I could probably manage to do both in America. But why should women be forced to work so hard to be both mothers and workers, and feel guilty for their choices?

Not all of us can be the best all the time. I prefer to live in a country that does not punish me for not being a man, or for not being the best, or for not wishing to sacrifice everything for the sake of either children or career, or both.

I think that is only human.

I’m sick of America. Vive la France. A human country.

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I totally support any effort to make sick pay mandatory, but there is one loophole that doesn’t appear to have been addressed. I work full-time as a waitress, and the pay we actually get from our employers is $2.88 per hour–which means that for us, sick “pay” would basically amount to nothing ($23.04 per 8-hour shift, before taxes). I would still miss out on the tips that I rely on for a living. Given the importance of having healthy food-service workers, it seems like this should be addressed. Who wants to have their food served by a waitress with the flu? But it happens all the time, believe me. Perhaps there would be some way that waitstaff could be compensated for the average amount of tips they would have made.

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When I was raising my children after my divorce, I was the primary care parent. It extremely difficult to get a job that had the flexibility necessary, so I ended up in low paying clerical/secretarial jobs — often with hourly pay with zero benefits. There were times when I had to pay $4/hour (per child) for 10 hours of sick child daycare so I could go to my $6/hour job for 8 hours. If I wasn’t headed for intensive care, I was at work! I had to save the time off for when the kids were sick, out of school, whatever. I didn’t have a vacation for years and have never had a real vacation with my children.

I always felt I had to be extraordinary at my job, put in unpaid overtime (when the kids were with their dad), volunteer for extra work duties just to compete with people who did not have the same kinds of responsibilities outside of work. I have had my evaluations lowered (and therefore pay raises) when I had to take care of a seriously ill child, even though I more than made up the hours away from work.

I have had few employers who “got it,” but the ones who did were ones I would do just about anything for — they had my undying loyalty.

I do not know what I would do in the current employment climate if I still had young children. Paid time off, like all other benefits that used to be a given, is dwindling. With “at will” work, employers don’t even have to give a reason to send you packing.

Now all I have to worry about is age discrimination.

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I am currently a SAHM while finishing my doctoral dissertation, so my husband is our sole source of income. He works for a small-ish company (<30 employees) and makes a decent salary — but receives no paid leave of any kind. In order to accrue leave he must work more than 40 hrs/week and bank that time…but the company also doesn’t like to roll leave over between years, so they pay out the extra hours at the end of each calendar year. Thus, every January he’s back to having zero leave. If he were to become seriously ill or be involved in an accident he would have to take unpaid leave almost immediately and hope that he could make up the hours later in the year.

It is ridiculous to have a system in what is supposedly the most wonderful country in the world in which neither the government nor employers are required to provide paid sick and/or family leave, health insurance, etc.

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One Sick Kin Away From Being Fired
A Poem by David G. Hurlburt©David G. Hurlburt 2007

It is hard for a family to make both ends meet,
Both of us working so we are not on the street.
Minimum wage workers need every single dime;
They also need some emergency kin care time.

We work hard, and at night and we’re so tired,
Just one sick child away from being fired.

Why can’t we use sick leave to care for our kin,
When the Bosses fires us for that is a just a sin.
Not any time off, with pay, for short time family care;
When the roll is called up yonder will these managers be there?

We work hard and at night and we’re so tired.
Just one sick spouse away from being fired.

Companies protect and defend at all costs their mighty corporate rights
So when you take time off for your family, be prepared to join the fights.
Working families, we need to lobby congress and the legislatures too.
We need a law so are jobs are protected when our child gets the flu..

We work hard and at night and we’re so tired,
Just one sick parent away from being fired.

Providing time for families doesn’t cost it will pay.
It reduces turnover because more employees stay.
It, increases loyalty, dedication and it is caring and kind.
A benefit employees value and it’s one that’s hard to find.

We work hard and at night and we’re so tired.
Just one sick self away from being fired.

Too many times we’re fired and end up in the street.
Loss of jobs or pay and our bills we can’t meet.
Bankruptcy from medical bills or the loss of a job,
We loose heart and hope and our kids learn to rob

You can pay to build families or tear them apart.
The dollars spent on sick leave are just a start;
Childcare, after school programs to care for our kids
And medical care for every one even those on the skids.

If you don’t do these things you will still pay the price.
In court costs and prisons and that is not very nice.
A nations economy must serve all the people in the land;
Not greed or the wealthy, government must take a stand.

The social safety net is not just for the poor,
It protects us all from the thief at our door.
One Sick Kin Away From Being Fired will be published by AFL-CIO

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I like many other working mothers have had to stay home with sick children, cover closed day-care, and take personal sick time. With three children under the age of 10; a mere 5 days a year is not enough. I would gladly take leave w/o pay to cover my sick time – but it’s not an option. It has been made very clear to me that my job is on the line if I can not make it to work for what ever reason. Just so the single men in the office don’t think I’m being given too much specail treatment. (yes, I am the lone woman in a office of men)

What’s more infuriating is that I work at a job that can easily be done remotely – and I am set up to work from home “in case of emergency”, but a sick child will get me fired! Talk about unfair.

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I worked for a decade in Argentina (in the 90′s)
I had 20 days of annual leave (that I could split in any way I wished) plus 2 days each month for “personal matters” (doctor’s visits, birthday, contractor at home, etc.).
My sick days leave were unlimited comparing with what I have now. The system worked like this: a doctor came at my home to see my condition and certificates (according his or her criteria) how many days I should take. I could take all of them or return earlier. If my doctor believed that I need more days, a certification extended automatically the days; same thing if you need to take care of someone in your family (spouse, kid).
I cannot remember how many weeks you can spend that way but it was a huge amount of days of PAID sick leave. I remember that if you need more you were asked to assist a “junta medica” (a group of doctors and social workers evaluating your condition and personal situation).
Apart from all that annual, personal and sick PAID leave, you have one paid week for marriage, another paid week for getting used to fatherhood and, YES, three months of paid MATERNITY leave. First trimester bonding of mother and child is considered “prevention” in public health there.
Like other “thirld world countries”, they try to follow the recommendations of UN through UNIFEM (for women) and UNICEF ( for kids).
And it was nice to celebrate every 8th of March [our international day] in a special way at work there.

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