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Parents should start standing up themselves and not rely for everything on the government. We should do something for ourselves, our family and kids instead of waiting for the government to provide us with options and work for us. Parents giving birth to children already have with it a commitment wherein parents have to devote themselves for the welfare of their offspring. These afterschool programs are not necessarily important, what children need nowadays are parents who could sit beside them and talk or play with them and guide them to become better citizens someday, a job we shouldn’t rely on to other people in the first place. After school programs not only deprive our kids of playtime but also deprive us of the opportunity to perform our role as parents, responsible parents.

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That’s exactly the problem. People learn to depend on these after school programs because they are available. If they weren’t available, they would find other options. There are always other options: expenses that could be cut, training and schooling to obtain a higher income, friends and family that can provide temporary support while they readjust–and if they really are destitute, there are welfare programs through government, churches, and charities to lend assistance to those who really need it.

I personally don’t agree with taxing those who make income and lifestyle sacrifices to be at home with their kids or pay what it actually costs for someone to care for them in order to subsidize these programs that make it more worthwhile for mom’s to abandon their kids for money. You get what you pay for, and if we as the taxpayers are paying for parents to not be home with their kids, that’s exactly what we will get more of. And that’s exactly what this country needs less of.

Now are there some circumstances requiring mom’s to work? Yes, of course. My mom was one of them because she was divorced with 4 children. But those individuals need to take personal responsibility for their children’s care because even they would usually agree that it’s better to be home with your kids than not, and, again,the government offsetting the cost of childcare inevitably increases the amount of parents willing to let someone else do what they do best for the people they love the most and society will suffer because of it.

If there are two parents involved, you cannot convince me that anyone needs two full time incomes for any extended period of time, or that such a choice would ever be worth the sacrifice of parental time, supervision, and involvement with the children. I have seen too many examples of very low income families who find a way and are better for it.

My husband grew up in a 2 parent home with 7 children, who’s father was unemployed and working odd jobs for years, and even when he found a steady job, only makes 12,000 (that’s $6.25/hr). They made it through without any government or welfare support, and without ever depending on a second income from his mother. They simply budgeted accordingly so that they could provide not only for the physical necessities, but the character, disciplinary, emotional, and spiritual necessities of their children. They all turned out wonderfully, paid for their own education, all received bachelor+ degrees or are currently in college, and are providing for their own families now. Best of all, their children all turned to be morally strong, honest, chaste, service oriented, self-sacrificing, law-abiding citizens, and great husbands, wives, fathers, and mothers. No amount of money, sqaure footage, cable TV, costly vacations, or disposable kleenex would have been worth trading for such results. It’s not about income, it’s about priorities and how hard you’re willing to work and sacrifice to achieve them.

We have to see the bigger picture here even if it hurts for a moment while we break the dependency and internalize the true cost of raising children well.

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15 Million US Kids Left Alone:
Why have kids if you are only going to expect someone else to raise them?
I know it’s not possible for everyone, but come on! If more families would put their kids as their top priority instead of working to pay for extra car payments, bigger houses, and other frivolous items, they could probably afford for one parent to stay home. My husband is a diesel mechanic, not a glorious paying job, and we have always managed to stay on a budget and have me home with our kids.
My kids (ages 6 and 4)go to bed at 8:00 every night. If they were in one of these programs until 6:00, we would only see them 2 hours a day! Kids need time with their parents! Wake up people! It is not someone else’s job to raise your children, it’s yours.

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Anonymous Reply:
February 28th, 2010 at 12:10 am

@Melissa,
You speak as though everyone has a choice in this matter. 1. The majority of men could care less about their wives staying home unless they are church going christians families with a strong character for family and have a moderate income and willing to sacrifice etc. And that is a BIG IF….. 2. I was treated poorly at my last two positions because of my desire to get off from work before 5pm so that I could be home with my kids to do homework, take them to extra curricular activities, dinner and then bedtime at a decent hour. I was and am still appalled that in 2010 mothers have to struggle with this issue of home and family balance. You are correct, spending your time at work is not nurturing your kids. Putting this issue out in the forefront is good and i pray employers will be more flexible with core work hours (instead of 9-5…..7:30-3:00as an example)and/or open to telecommuting options. 3. I don’t think you can judge what people need if they have to work to just make ends meet. I think this should be a partnership with the community and local schools—specifically the local church that is on every corner with all kinds of resources and adults(retired and retired teachers) coupled with teens who need to learn how to work and stay out of trouble and idleness. This could be a win win situation for everyone involved at a low cost. But that may be too much like right hugh?! Blessins

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melissa Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 2:11 pm

@,
I know that not everyone has a choice. That’s why when I began my post I said “I know it’s not possible for everyone…”
I am not judging anyone who has to work legitimately to pay their bills. But it frustrates me when people will choose a high profile carreer over their children- and expect someone else to pay for their care. They treat their children like trophies or something, and they’re teaching their children to act just as ‘entitled’ as they do. It frustrates me that people think that things like cable, vacations, car payments, bigger house, etc, are “necessary” items. And for many 2 income households, that’s where the second paycheck ultimately goes.

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These are critical programs that I can not believe they are even looking into cutting! We the middle class who make just enough to stay off welfare and are the honest workers and honest tax payers DO NOT qualify for reduced rate child care because according to them making $16/hr is more than enough to care for 8 children in childcare according to there “income graphs”!!! Many honest families like ours depend on after school programs to assist us while we work for an honest living! This frustrates me in so many ways!

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