Boys Coming of Age

I am suddenly planning discussions I somehow never thought I would need to have. When kids grow up it’s an exciting — but scary — time for any parent. And as a noncustodial, long-distance mom, the challenges and opportunities for me are unique. Over the years, lots of conversations with my son have been held over the phone. Lately, we’ve had some incredible talks about more adult things (you know … coffee, sex ed).

Coincidentally, Oscar’s puberty announcement came while I was reading the inspiring book, Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape. But how could I convey the values of sexual responsibility, pleasure, and nonviolence to a young boy?

I wanted to prepare myself. But I was also looking for anything, anything!, that Oscar could read and take home with him. I went to a sex-positive parenting workshop. I started talking to all my feminist mothers and friends. I got in close touch with Oscar’s principal, teacher, school nurse. Thankfully, they were each responsive to my many questions, even when the answer was that Sex Education is only offered for boys as a 30-minute video during health class in 6th Grade. (Can I just say, WOW?!)

Still feeling entirely unprepared for the task at hand, I hit the bookstore in a frenzy, not even sure what I was looking for. A feminist sex-ed text? Honest talk about changing bodies? Something including LGBTQ culture?

I didn’t find exactly what I was looking for, but I came across some useful resources... I blogged about them at here, and would love to hear suggestions from other moms on how to help our boys prevent rape culture and violence against women. I’ll be cross-posting tips and anecdotal tidbits on my website, NCP Community. I look forward to hearing from you.