8.2 - Moving Forward

Not all companies are able to provide this much family support. In fact, most can’t. However, a combination of government and business initiatives could provide this much support for all types of jobs. The cost of paid family leave for new parents needs to be an expense our society shares as we recognize the value of providing parents with what they need to raise healthy children.

Offering flexibility in work hours is an opportunity many companies can embrace without hurting the bottom line (and often actually helping it). The cost of healthcare for individuals, let alone families, has risen to the point where our economy is suffering— a joint effort by government and business working together to improve our healthcare system is long overdue. Lorri and Ninette’s experiences show it’s possible to better balance work and family. We need to make basic supports available to all parents.

In order to do so, we first have to face the fact that times have changed and most modern families have two working parents. This is not inherently a problem if we, as a country, embrace both the need to work and the need to care for family. But to truly embrace both work and family, changes have to be made.

It’s time to start thinking outside the box. We have to face up to the fact that the status quo is not adequate for most working mothers, and that in most cases there are not enough incentives for businesses to take up the slack. This is leading to a situation that is increasingly untenable for working mothers and their children.

Feminists Are Mothers, Too

by Kim Gandy, President, National Organization for Women (NOW)


There was a titter as the women looked to their interpreter to see if I was joking. They were from countries not known for women’s advances (Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Qatar) and found it hard to believe U.S. family leave policies were so inferior to their own. But it’s true. Unlike most of the world, our country treats child-rearing as each family’s private burden,rather than a societal priority.

Our politicians talk about “family values,” but do little that values families.

For nearly forty years, NOW has worked toward equal rights, broader opportunities, and respect for women—in all the work we do. After all, we coined the rallying cry: “Every Mother is a Working Mother.” But we have a long way to go until most women (and men) have genuine choices, freely made ... until caregivers are given both respect and financial security ... until people stop saying “women can’t have it all” and start asking “why are women expected to do it all.”

It’s time to start working toward national solutions to support parent-friendly working environments. Taking good care of family and being an exemplary employee does not need to be an either/or choice. We can do both. Changes in public policy, along with cultural and policy changes within companies, will help working mothers while improving our collective economic bottom line. From company-sponsored back-up childcare to universal healthcare for all children, from paid family leave to flexible work options, the solutions are out there.

These are not merely ideals we aspire to, but concrete national policies: policies that will help our economy by ensuring mothers are able to contribute to their full potential; policies that will help our communities by ensuring children have the support they need to be healthy; and most of all policies that will help children by allowing them to grow up in homes that are able to support and nurture them in order to allow them the opportunity that should be the right of every American—the opportunity to succeed in life.

  • M = Maternity/Paternity Leave: Paid family leave for all parents after a new child comes into the family.
  • O = Open Flexible Work: Give parents the ability to structure their work hours and careers in a way that allows them to meet both business and family needs. This includes flexible work hours and locations, part-time work options, as well as the ability to move in and out of the labor force to raise young children without penalties.
  • T = TV We Choose and Other After School Programs: Give families safe, educational opportunities for children after the school doors close for the day, including: Create a clear and independent universal television rating system for parents, with technology that allows them to choose what is showing in their own homes; support quality educational programming for kids; increase access to, and funding, for after-school programs.
  • H = Healthcare for All Kids: Provide quality, universal healthcare to all children.
  • E = Excellent Childcare: Quality, affordable childcare should be available to all parents who need it. Childcare providers should be paid at least a living wage and healthcare benefits.
  • R = Realistic and Fair Wages: Two full-time working parents should be able to earn enough to adequately care for their family. In addition, working mothers must receive equal pay for equal work.

The Motherhood Manifesto highlights shared needs of mothers and families across economic and social boundaries. There is a growing understanding that mothers need to be able to work and raise children. Paid family leave, flexible work structures, afterschool programs, family health, childcare, and economic sufficiency are all important ways to support parent’s efforts to care for their children. Any one Manifesto Point standing alone, unsupported by the others, is not sufficient. The Manifesto Points are all interconnected, creating a web of safety for families. That said, improvement in any one of these parts of our lives creates consequences that reverberate throughout. There is a convergence of need and opportunity when these issues are worked on together.

We all want children to grow up in a healthy environment that encourages them to develop to their full potential. Though we have achieved this for some families, many families still have to make choices that are too much like King Solomon’s dilemma: No parent should have to choose between being able to care for their child and being able to feed their child; no parent should be put in a position where their income is less than their childcare costs; no parent should be forced into a job merely to keep their healthcare coverage; and most of all, no woman should be punished economically with lower wages and less chance for advancement because she chose to start a family.

NOW has consistently sought economic recognition and financial security for mothers and caregivers—like our Homemaker’s Bill of Rights legislation. But creating a genuine work-life balance would mean long-sought changes in our country and culture. It would mean achieving what we’ve demanded for forty years: paid family leave, universal high-quality childcare and healthcare, support for poor mothers, full reproductive options, real job flexibility—and fathers doing their fair share. Just for starters.

Our progress thus far (job protection for pregnant women, unpaid family leave, childcare deductions, awareness of work/family conflict) is a direct result of concerted action by the feminist movement, despite strong resistance to changing the status quo. But there is much more to do. Our NOW Committee on Mothers and Caregivers’ Economic Rights is helping chapters form grassroots taskforces across the country to expand women’s choices. Both women and children, and yes, even men, will benefit.

Kim Gandy has been active in NOW for thirty-two years and was elected President in 2001. She is an attorney and lives in Silver Spring, Maryland,with her partner,Kip Lornell,and their two pre-teen daughters.

Nurturing children requires us to take the long view. In a culture where short-term profits and losses are often the tipping point for decisions, we have to think decades out into the future. This is a stretch for some companies that haven’t been around for more than a decade, and also for some politicians who just want to get reelected next year. Yet more and more parents find they’ve acquired a long view when they look into the faces of their sons and daughters. These parents realize that when we take a short-term approach at the expense of long-term benefits, we are really taking from our children. Our children are depending on us to provide them with a mother who is not discriminated against at work, to provide them with the wherewithal to get to a doctor when they are sick, to allow them the right to be children and not grow up in a environment that is saturated with themes and ideas suitable only for adults, and to allow them to live in a home that is able to provide for their basic needs.

It is our turn to act. There is a rising tide of consciousness that change is needed.