Women’s Happiness Isn’t A Dead Deer on the Dining Room Table
Posted November 17th, 2009 by Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner“He comes back with dinner, and he has shot it! They are happy. American women don’t have anyone hunting for them–that’s the real problem,” wrote author Michael Silverstein in the October 26th issue of the New Yorker.
That’s what he’s got: Men hunting for dinner?
Well then.
Over the last month, men like Silverstein and author Marcus Buckingham have been grabbing headlines on highly trafficked blog sites and appearing on the pages of well regarded magazines talking about women’s unhappiness in response to recent studies, including one published in the National Bureau of Economic Research, which show that women’s happiness over the past couple of decades is declining. And however subtly done, the message is the same: Women, you, and your fight for equality, are responsible for your own unhappiness.
During this same time period, the women of the United States quietly became half of the entire paid labor force in our nation for the first time.
It’s a Half-Lash: The backlash from women becoming half of the paid labor force.
In reality it’s not such a mystery why so many women are reporting that they are unhappy.
Despite recent reporting trends, just because women are now half of the labor force doesn’t mean that it’s time to stop fighting for equal pay for equal work, and instead pop Prozac while waxing philosophical about possible roots of unhappiness as we await hunting hubbies to bring in venison.
It’s time for the national media to interview some women. We know why we’re unhappy. Let’s break it down:
Economic inequality: Overall, women make 77 cents to every man’s dollar. One study found that women without children make 90 cents to a man’s dollar, mothers make 73 cents, and single mothers make the least, at about 60 cents to a man’s dollar–stats that should keep you up at night given that 80% of American women become mothers by the time they are forty-four years old. Studies show that passing family-friendly policies–like paid family leave and assessable childcare–lower the wage gaps.
Political inequality: Women comprise only 17% of our national legislature, despite being 51% of the population. We now rank a low 70th of all nations in terms of women’s representation in national legislatures.
Why are women unhappy? The fact that the feminist revolution is mid-course and some are calling it over just because women now number half of the labor force is a reason for unhappiness. The fact that we don’t have family-friendly policies which most other nations take as a given is another reason for unhappiness.
We’re not moving forward, we’re falling behind. According to international gender equality ratings just released by the World Economic Forum, the United States fell four spots from last year. We now stand at 31st place, just behind Lithuania. Further, falling behind hurts us all: Right now there are only 15 women CEOs at Fortune 500 companies, despite that more than 50% of college graduates are now women and despite, importantly, that recent studies show that Fortune 500 companies with women in leadership are actually doing better fiscally in this tough economic environment.
It’s a Half-Lash all right. But this blowback from becoming half of the labor force shouldn’t hinder women’s fight for equal pay for equal rights, and for, yes, happiness.
With 50% of the labor force, women have come a long way. But we haven’t arrived yet. Overall, women are increasingly educated and employed, but still must fight to pass family-friendly policies like paid family leave, affordable childcare, fair pay laws, healthcare for all, flexible work options, and paid sick days, which also protect those recovering from domestic abuse and assault. Studies show such policies help everyone with both the fiscal and family bottom lines–businesses, non-mothers, mothers, women, and men alike–and passing family-friendly policies go a long ways toward taking the next step toward women’s happiness: Breaking down the Maternal Wall that stands in the way of most women ever getting close to the glass ceiling.
The paychecks women bring in are increasingly needed to keep families financially afloat. It’s time now to bring our workplace policies up to date to the realities of a changed labor force so women, and men, can be happier and, yes, more productive overall.
A long line of women in this nation have fought for equality. Just 89 years ago women got the right to vote. Yet we still need equal pay for equal work, proportional representation, fair treatment, and our own voices in the media.
A dead deer on the dining table isn’t going to solve this rampant unhappiness, but fair pay and family-friendly policies will make a significant dent. Let’s get moving.
3 Comments
January 12, 2010 at 6:08 pm by CherThis will always be an ongoing debate… women in the workforce and their overall happiness. I find it interesting that single woman make 90 cents to a man’s dollar and working/married women a little less and single mothers less than that… can we not see the reason to this?? Women have responsibilities in the home. Period. If you are married and have children, you are going to miss more of work and your focus will naturally be disrupted to a degree. Men were created to lead, to protect and provide. Women were created to support, nurture, and manage/caretake. There may be those whom think differently, but speaking in ‘general terms’ this is the truth. Of course, women can do just about anythng they set their minds to(myself included- for I like to run, read for intellect and spiritual gain, fix things and problems, build things, garden, hike, decorate, cook and target shoot).
Through time and circumstances the roles of men and women started to get just plain mixed-up due to “needs” of different seasons of the centuries… such as WW I and WW II. Men and woman were created equal, but, created with different roles and priorities by a Creator with an intent and purpose. As we have transformed culturally and materialistically our priorities have changed, and so have our supposed “needs”. We have needs for cell phones, flat screen tvs, new cars, stylish wardrobes, multi-gadget filled kitchens,exotic vacations, children in every hobby and sport,Wii, Ipods, PCs and thus… personal happiness has become “me first- I need it all” mindset.
How does a women help with the needs of her children, her home and her husband while working a full time job? What happens when children act up becuase of lack of parental TLC needed? What happens when the house is a mess and chaotic because everyone is running different directions? What happens when the husbands God given needs are not being met? This is another whole bowl of worms that has caused havoc in our world…
There is no respect and/or boundaries for the differences of males and females in the workforce. We have forgotten that mixing men and women for long hours at a time in close quarters only opens doors for compromise. Women want to be treated as equals, yet many woman have used their feminine sensuality to get what they want instead of firm intellect and talent. Woman do not want men to make advances at them by their male co-workers, yet dress in such a way that attracts the eye of their male counterparts. Also, women (married or unmarried) in the workforce put themselves in compromising positions when they go out regularly to lunch alone with men. Does the word ‘affair’ ring a bell?
I want to add that I am well aware of MEN and their wondering eyes and minds regardless how you dress, for I have experienced the advances upon me when wearing professional clothing and doing nothing to ask for such advances. This is a two way street and self respect and firm boundaries need to be called out and made clear. It is our response and behavior that ultimately sets the tone.
We wonder WHY women are not happy when they are being pulled in so many directions and while the culture/media says she needs to look like a size 2 model, nails done, latest fashion clothing and able to run marathons to boot?!
I share all of this as a woman, a wife, a stay at home mom whom homeschools our 4 children ages 13-5, and as an educated human being. I went to college and have been in the workforce as an Radiologic Technologist. I have needs and I have desires… but, at this season in my life I have chosen to care for my children, to love and support my husband and be a blessing to our family, friends and community as I can. No ones life is perfect, mine included. Happiness can be found by being content with what you have, enjoying each season of your life, understanding what is truly important in your life, and keeping your priorities straight.
By the way… My husband is a hunter, and I like it when he brings home the deer.
[Reply]
November 18, 2009 at 12:13 am by Wendy BanasThanks for writing this–it is thought provoking, and I think your points are spot on. I wonder, though, about this happiness question. I wonder if you asked this same question to men in the 50′s, how many of them would have been happy? It seems to me when we analyze television/movies/literature/art, we find that men of that happy, golden, postwar, job security time were very unhappy, and it certainly wasn’t because they didn’t make as much money as women. I wonder if really, Americans are generally unhappy, and I wonder how much media has to do with our unhappiness–women, men, teenagers, elderly people–all the perfection it tells us we don’t have, need, and can buy for the right price. Just a thought.
[Reply]
Anita Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Great question, Wendy. I think that’s an important point to explore– where does happiness come from, for men, for women, for kids, for grandparents. Would love to hear what others think about that.
[Reply]
Leave a Comment