Comments on: The REAL Opt-Out Revolution http://www.momsrising.org/blog/the-real-opt-out-revolution/ Where Moms and the people who love them fight for a better America Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:50:42 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: KJ http://www.momsrising.org/blog/the-real-opt-out-revolution/comment-page-1/#comment-7749 KJ Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:45:31 +0000 http://www.momsrising.org/blog/?p=1959#comment-7749 My mother discovered feminism during the second wave. She had left college to marry and have children, of whom I am the sixth, and basically planned to stay at home and take care of us all. She was the ultimate housewife: sewing the clothes, cooking, cleaning. Then, tragically, my eldest sister died in a car accident. My father's subsequent depression/emotional withdrawl forced my mom to rethink her life, and her dependency on my father for her income and stability. She went back to school, became a nurse and practiced until she was about 70. She worked nights so she could take me and my little sister to school, and be there when we got home. She encouraged us to make our own choices. So, now I find myself with two graduate degrees and choosing to essentially "opt out" while co-running a small business with my younger sister. We both chose this instead of a job outside the home to be with our kids while they are young, and to have some control over our own destiny. We're making sacrifices in a different way---financially, sure--but there is still the voice in my mind that I should be working outside of the home, that it's my responsiblity as a feminist to show my daughter that I have a "career". Although I agree with Amber that canning & working our urban homestead has loads of emotional benefits and is empowering in its own way. This push-pull is interesting...my (very enlightened and amazing, feminist) husband does not have the same guilt nor questions about his role. My mother discovered feminism during the second wave. She had left college to marry and have children, of whom I am the sixth, and basically planned to stay at home and take care of us all. She was the ultimate housewife: sewing the clothes, cooking, cleaning. Then, tragically, my eldest sister died in a car accident. My father’s subsequent depression/emotional withdrawl forced my mom to rethink her life, and her dependency on my father for her income and stability. She went back to school, became a nurse and practiced until she was about 70. She worked nights so she could take me and my little sister to school, and be there when we got home. She encouraged us to make our own choices.

So, now I find myself with two graduate degrees and choosing to essentially “opt out” while co-running a small business with my younger sister. We both chose this instead of a job outside the home to be with our kids while they are young, and to have some control over our own destiny. We’re making sacrifices in a different way—financially, sure–but there is still the voice in my mind that I should be working outside of the home, that it’s my responsiblity as a feminist to show my daughter that I have a “career”.

Although I agree with Amber that canning & working our urban homestead has loads of emotional benefits and is empowering in its own way.

This push-pull is interesting…my (very enlightened and amazing, feminist) husband does not have the same guilt nor questions about his role.

]]> By: Amber http://www.momsrising.org/blog/the-real-opt-out-revolution/comment-page-1/#comment-7710 Amber Wed, 08 Jul 2009 19:04:36 +0000 http://www.momsrising.org/blog/?p=1959#comment-7710 I also like growing my own food and cooking from scratch. And sewing and knitting and canning. I was recently laid off and doing these things, simplifying and being more hands on, has helped me through. It's made a small difference financially, but it's really been good from an emotional and empowerment perspective. It makes me feel good to know that I can do these things, that I have jam in the garage and bread rising and I can make a dress for my daughter. I think it is a feminist choice, or at least a choice that is compatible with feminism. I also like growing my own food and cooking from scratch. And sewing and knitting and canning. I was recently laid off and doing these things, simplifying and being more hands on, has helped me through. It’s made a small difference financially, but it’s really been good from an emotional and empowerment perspective. It makes me feel good to know that I can do these things, that I have jam in the garage and bread rising and I can make a dress for my daughter.

I think it is a feminist choice, or at least a choice that is compatible with feminism.

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