Should I Stay or Should I Go?

    Posted April 16th, 2009 by

    Click here to read the whole post from Your (Wo)man in Washington.
    Written by MOTHERS Guest Blogger, Kelly Coyle DiNorcia
    I work from home (as a paid employee) for a youth sports organization. I have an almost four-year-old daughter and an almost one-year-old son, and though we have a sitter who comes once a week so I can have some undisturbed time to work, I am mostly juggling my caretaking and wage-earning responsibilities all at the same time. Most of the customers I speak with are, by definition, parents, so when I have to interrupt a telephone call to remind my daughter for the ten thousandth time that day that she will have to wait until after Mommy is done with her phone call for a cup of juice/something to eat/help changing the channel/a playmate, or to soothe my crying baby, I am rarely met with impatience. More often – particularly if there is a mother on the other end of the call – I am asked how old they are, and told how lucky I am to be able to work from home and be with them while earning a living. And I agree. I am lucky. I work in an extremely family-friendly environment (which included two sixteen-week fully paid maternity leaves) and for this I am grateful.
    Click here to read the whole post from Your (Wo)man in Washington.

    Posted Under: O: Open Flexible Work
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    5 Comments

    May 12, 2009 at 5:05 pm by Jennie

    I am a stay-at-home mother with a 5 and 7 year old. I have started working from home now that my children have a longer school day. Over the past years I have missed working. I stayed at-home because I know that there is no better start you can give your child than spending time together bonding, learning and exploring the world. It was worth the sacrifice of setting my own aspirations aside for a couple of years. I know my children do not see me as “just a mother”. They see my as a teacher, explorer and confidant.

    That said, I could afford it. We had to cut back on spending, but we could survive. this is not the case for many, including of course most single moms. I understand that there is a lot of guilt in mothering which may be the reason I hear so many mothers say their infants love 8 hours of daycare a day. Spin it anyway you want but small children want to be at home with their parents. If you can’t provide that or choose not to give your child that experience, own it. You are not leaving your child in another’s care everyday for the child’s benefit. The quantity of time does matter.

    This is not a judgment of peoples choices, it is just the fact. I have yet to read a child development book that says the contrary.
    I hope a day will come when every parent has the economic ability to make a choice regarding their children’s care.

    [Reply]

    April 27, 2009 at 12:39 pm by Anonymous

    Let’s make jason’s post gender neutral. Would the claims of ego and selfishness still hold? Or are cultural notions of women, motherhood and selflessness at work here. I doubt a Dad who stayed home and worked while doling out juice and swabbing countertops would be seen as selfish. Dangerous territory. And what of class? Isn’t it selfless and putting your kids first to wage-earn–in this economy many who had a ‘choice’ have one no longer.

    [Reply]

    April 20, 2009 at 5:15 pm by ScientistMom

    I am a working mother of a beautiful 7 month old boy. I work for a number of reasons and yes money is one of them. But so is my sanity and my identity. I like my job. I enjoy the interaction with my collegues and the satisfaction I get from my work. I feel that working makes be a better mother because it gives my son and I a chance to explore our individuality. We get to have lives outside of each other and we appreciate the time we spend together…quality, not just quantity. Is that selfishness and ego? Is there something wrong with wanting to be something more than just a mother? Is it bad to teach my son that a woman can be a mother and contribute to life outside the home? I did not not show up for my marriage or motherhood unprepared. I give my husband and son all of the love and support they need, which is far more important than money. You seem to be judging working mothers without walking in their shoes. Its not about ego or selfishness. Life isn’t always as simple as spending less or saving and investing before having kids. Working mothers juggle a lot of things but NOTHING is more important than our children and to insinuate that we are somehow less of a mother because we work is beyond narrow minded. Being a mother is the greatest job in the world…some of us choose to pick up a second job as well. No mother should be denigrated for her choice to stay home or to work. To read a post that does such that, especially in this day and age, is extremely disappointing.

    [Reply]

    April 29, 2009 at 10:01 am by Anonymous

    Selfish?
    “save and invest wisely BEFORE marrying and having kids” – that would be fantastic if the world could work like that, and all moms could devote themselves to rising children. But there are so many reasons that they can’t it would take too much time and place to point them all and I guess to most those are obvious…

    For those moms that would be interested in part time jobs I would like to recommend a web page http://www.nowhired.com/category/part-time/region/w-us/

    [Reply]

    April 18, 2009 at 12:02 pm by Jason

    With all due respect, why do you need to work with little kids running around you ??

    Is it money ?? Then scale down and spend less…
    Is it self worth?? What’s more worthwhile then raising great kids??

    Let’s be honest…You want the cake and eat it too while sacrificing precious little kids. If you want kids, take care of them.

    Also, it’s not fair to the customer to be distracted by the kids while at work not to mention inefficiency.

    In short, why not be honest. It’s about women’s ego and selfishness.

    A noble and sensible idea !!! Work hard and save and invest wisely BEFORE marrying and having kids. You wouldn’t show up for work unprepared and unqualified would you ?? Then why show up for marriage and being a mom unprepared…..like not having enough money..

    [Reply]

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