Share Your Breastfeeding Tales
Posted November 16th, 2006 by Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner
Posted Under:
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Can you believe a woman was recently kicked off a Delta airlines flight for discreetly breastfeeding her child!? Please share your own breastfeeding tales of triumph and embarrassment here (*Click the blog title above or “Read full post” link below, then scroll down to the end of the blog text and Post a Comment)! And don’t forget to sign the petition to tell Delta Airlines to get a clue and be supportive of breastfeeding mothers, as well as tell Congress it’s time to pass the Breastfeeding Promotion Act, which amends the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to protect breastfeeding mothers.
I almost got kicked out of a Flower & Garden Show for nursing my son ten years ago, but that pales in comparison to actually getting kicked off an airplane–as happened recently to a mother on a Delta Airlines flight in Vermont.
Fox News quotes her as saying, “It embarrassed me. That was my first reaction, which is a weird reaction for doing something so good for a child.”
So please sign the petition, and forward the link to friends so they can sign on too: http://www.momsrising.org/breastfeeding-petition
Now let’s hear the stories!!!
MomsRising.org strongly encourages our visitors to post comments in response to blog postings. We value a diverse range of opinions and perspectives. Our goal is for this space to be educational, thought provoking and respectful. To this end, we reserve the right to edit or remove comments that include personal attacks, obscenity, vulgarity or profanity.
292 Comments
November 16, 2006 at 3:15 pm by AnonymousOh, memories… mammaries… I was nursing Wacky Girl on a flight (United, I think) when she was about a year old? So this was six years ago. I was in an aisle seat, toward the front of the plane, and the male flight attendant insisted on throwing a blanket over her. People were boarding the plane and he was offended. I so did not even care — my baby was hungry and freaked out.
I told him, “Sorry, she does not like being covered with a blanket.” She threw the blanket off; he put it back on; she threw it off. The third time he tried to cover her up again I told him, “Give up.” My husband smiled at him. On we flew.
I’ve never had any other problems nursing while we flew, and we fly a lot. (Other passengers glaring at me while my kids wail is more common. To them I say: “You think I’m happy with this? You think this is what I want?” and they leave us alone.)
Keep on feeding those babies, mamas.
Love,
Wacky Mommy
http://wackymommy.org/
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November 16, 2006 at 3:14 pm by AnonymousI think what’s really at issue here is a lack of recognition that breastfeeding mothers operate out here in the real world. We don’t stay at home all the time- we work, travel, shop, and do everything else that men and non-lactating women do. So it is a question of rights. If we can’t fly and breastfeed, then we are being discriminated against.
When my son was 9mo old, I heartwrenchingly left him for the first time to attend an academic conference. It was then that I realized that there is simply no recognition that mothers are also academics in my field. Not only is there no childcare, but there are no safe quiet spaces for mothers to breastfeed or (in my case) to pump milk 4-6 times a day. I probably would have fed my son in the hall, but I certainly wasn’t going to hook my breasts up to a strange milking contraption in the middle of the conference center! The meeting hotel was blocks away, so I ended up miserably trying to concentrate on my son’s image while I crouched over a public toilet.
I have since contacted my academic organization about this issue, and perhaps we’ll see some changes. But after attending this conference it was so clear to me that motherhood is simply not considered in our larger society. We need to demand to be seen, and heard, if we want to be treated fairly. Mothers are more than just “moms”- we participate in our society in so many important ways- and that needs to be recognized. Breastfeeding moms struggle more than most to balance the biological demands of our bodies and of our babies, as well as fulfill their other roles in society. They deserve our support and our respect.
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November 16, 2006 at 3:11 pm by AnonymousThe invitation to this blog states: “Please share your own breastfeeding tales of triumph and embarrassment here..” It did not invite an argument or debate over whether or not what this woman did was appropriate. Stick to the topic…which was designed to be supportive. If you don’t support the topic, post on another blog.
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November 16, 2006 at 3:04 pm by AnonymousDelta is simply wrong. We should be able to feed our children anywhere, any time we need to. I have never seen anyone with a “breast flopped out” as a previous person wrote. You do not need a blanket to be discreet. For goodness sake, in some fashionable outfits, you can see more breast than you will from a nursing mom! I’ve nursed and pumped many places, and will continue to do so. I fully support the mom who was kicked off- she should stand up for her child & by doing so, will hopefully help the rest of us nursing moms, too.
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November 16, 2006 at 3:00 pm by AnonymousWhile I understand the concern for others while breastfeeding and the thought that putting a blanket over the baby would be easy enough, I for one have a baby that would not breastfeed easily if I threw a blanket over her. She would not stay latched on and be even more upset.
Babies have sensitive ears and breastfeeding is the best way to comfort them on take-off and landing. It relieves pain in a way that nothing else really can. And, for everyone else’s enjoyment, it keeps them from screaming and crying. So the basic notion of breastfeeding a baby on a flight should be allowed, period.
I recently flew for the first time without my husband “buffer” to Washington, D.C.(with him I’ve flown to California and Bahrain, breastfeeding my then 4 and then 9 month old son respectively the whole way without a complaint or even a stare of disapproval). My return from D.C. was literally 11/14/06 on a Delta flight.
On the way there, I was by a window and discretely nursed my daughter on the side away from people. On the way back, I was in the aisle seat in a three-seat row with a man sitting in the window seat, making breastfeeding a little more difficult. I did have an open seat between us though. So, I moved to the middle seat with the intention of nursing my daughter slightly sideways so that most (if not all) people would be shielded from our view. With a little hesitation I apologized to the man beside me saying that I would have to nurse my daughter and that I hope it was okay. At first I wasn’t sure of his response, but mid-flight, when my daughter was happy and it was apparent that I was doing what I needed to to keep her happy, he told me that he had 3 children, understood and that it was absolutely okay.
I only offer this because I am astonished that this happened to a woman on a Delta flight the day after I did the same thing – no blanket just being discrete and arguably in a less-discrete situation. It makes me wonder – did someone complain loudly to motivate the flight attendant to be so insistent? Not to say that should the reason, but otherwise it makes no sense for it to have been such an issue for the flight attendant to bring it up!
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November 16, 2006 at 2:54 pm by AnonymousI am a BSN RN and a childbirth teacher as well as a doula. I breastfed all three of my children for 2 to 3 years each. Breastfeeding is the single most benficial thing himans can do for their children. It always amazed me that we have no issue with giving kids cow’s milk (for baby cows) but somehow breastfeeding is “gross”. Breastfeeding reduces rates of childhood cancers, allergies, on and on. It also raised IQ scores by 13 points on average.
A friend of mine was nursing her 3 week old discreetly at a Las Vegas restaurant. She was asked to go to the “coat closet” to nurse becuase it was upsetting the patrons ( A 500 lb man was sucking down crab legs next to her and was making a huge mess). When she refused she was escorted out by the sevurit guard. She walked outside to find a woman in pasties and a g string handing out flyers for the strip joint down the street. She was so disgusted.
Ladies- DO NOT BE EMBARRASSED- be empowered to fight for this most basic mammalian right that we have to do what is best for our babies and educate others. We have the lowest breastfeeding rate of any country on the planet Earth. How backeards we have become in how we have babies and how we take care of them.
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November 16, 2006 at 2:54 pm by AnonymousI cannot beleive the insensitive emails on this board. I think every breastfeeding mother knows that it is not easy to breastfeed and I can only imagine how much harder it would be on a plane trying to keep a blanket over you. This woman was in a window seat next to her husband, anyone who saw what she was doing must have been trying to see. The messages on this board are just perpetuating the attitude that breastfeeding needs to be hidden and is something to be embarrassed of and that is the reason that many women choose not to breastfeed or choose to stop before the recommended 1 year. If women felt they could breastfeed when and where they needed to without judgement, more women would do it and stick with it. It should be a woman’s choice to put a blanket on or not. How much breast is exposed while a baby is feeding? No more than I see in some lowcut shirts and bathing suits. Give me a break.
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November 16, 2006 at 2:48 pm by AnonymousMy oldest son is 11 now. I breast fed him on airplanes, sidewalk cafes and in line to get out of jury duty at the Santa Monica courthouse. It never occured to me then that it would be a problem and it wasn’t. Have things gotten that much worse in the last ten years?
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November 16, 2006 at 2:46 pm by AnonymousMy daughter is now a beautiful twelve-year old girl, and I nursed her until she was a few months shy of four. Early in her life, I took her to the local shopping mall so I could have a change of scenery, and she, of course, needed to nurse during our excursion.
I very discreetly proceeded to find an out-of-the-way bench (that was, coincidentally, located in front of a maternity and nursing clothing outlet), to nurse her. Within a few minutes, an irate older man began “huffing and puffing” at me about my “blanket covering me fully” nursing. He was insisting that I take my daughter to the bathroom and nurse her there. My only response went something like this: “I am certain that you don’t eat your dinner while sitting on the toilet, and I choose to not ask my daughter to do so, either.”
That ended the confrontation immediately.
I think the lesson in all of these stories is that there will always be people who are uncomfortable with choices we make for ourselves and our families- whether they are about breastfeeding, schooling, or otherwise. I have always found it best to respond politely, as necessary. We sometimes forget that we are all in this together – whether or not we agree about various issues. It can be difficult to swallow one’s pride, but a moment of educating others in a positive way so they will truly “hear” us, is often more valuable than confrontation in all of its forms.
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November 22, 2006 at 11:17 am by AnonymousThe study in question did find, however, that breastfed children tend to have higher IQs. The people running the study just felt that this was because women who breastfeed tend to have higher IQs than those that don’t, and their children are more likely to inherit that tendency. So, breastfeeding is both a smart choice to make, and a choice made by smart people.
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November 16, 2006 at 2:20 pm by AnonymousI agree breastfeeding is great and of course people should be allowed to do it. But I’m a mom and I have to say I don’t always want to watch it happen. We need to be respectful of others rights too. All the mom had to do was cover up with a blanket. Big deal. Why not just do it? As beautiful as breastfeeding is, we have to be honest and admit many people don’t want to watch it unfold.
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November 16, 2006 at 2:27 pm by AnonymousPerhaps some people have more cooperative babies than my three sons were, but there was no way I could keep a burp cloth or blanket on my children for more than a fleeting moment. They would instantly bat it down and cry at the blinder-effect. I found that there is always a way to be discrete without forcing a child to breathe recycled hot air under a blanket.
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To the woman breastfeeding on Delta:
Good grief, stop “victim stancing”! If you were considerate enough of others to choose a discrete aisle and a discrete seat at the back of the plane, why not also be considerate enough to cover your breast discretely with a blanket? Big deal, just do it. Just because you’re sitting at the back of the plane next to a window doesn’t mean there aren’t still people sitting around you who feel uncomfortable at the sight of your breast flopped out. I’m all for breastfeeding, but there’s a dignified way to do it, and flopping it out like Ma Kettle is NOT the way to win converts to The Cause.
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November 16, 2006 at 2:54 pm by AnonymousThis makes me so sad… women getting down on each other for FEEDING THEIR CHILDREN. We need to stand up for each other and our babies!
If you don’t like to see it, don’t watch. It really is that easy. What is not as easy is trying to keep a blanket on top of a squirming baby. It gets hot in there, and they don’t often feel like having a blanket over their head.
The fact is, whether or not you enjoy watching, that mother had every right to breastfeed her child, covered or not. The law in Vermont says:
“Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breastfeed her child in any place of public accommodation in which the mother and child would otherwise have a legal right to be.
Effective date, March 15, 2003.”
That is black-and-white.
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November 16, 2006 at 3:14 pm by AnonymousBecause it’s hot & stuffy… that’s why you shouldn’t have to cover up.
I have never seen a woman nursing in public that wasn’t classy about it. I’ve never seen a women whip the whole thing out and leave it flopping around for all to see. Let’s give moms a little credit around here and assume that they are being discreet. Let’s face it, the baby is covering the “sensitive” parts and all you can see 99% of the time is the curve of the breast… something that women show off on a daily basis.
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November 16, 2006 at 3:43 pm by AnonymousWhy don’t people respect and applaud us for taking the time and care to nourish our babies? Do people respect our spaces by not smoking or not farting? Come on!!!
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November 16, 2006 at 3:52 pm by AnonymousI believe it is appropriate for the airline to request that the mother cover herself. If the woman doesn’t want to use an airline blanket, she should have brought one of her own.
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November 16, 2006 at 4:13 pm by AnonymousBreastfeeding is beautiful, natural and correct in every way and if you don’t want to watch I suggest you flex your rights and LOOK AWAY! My gosh, to see this woman breastfeeding on a plane you’d have to be giving yourself whiplash or waiting in line to use the bathroom, in which case, I’d take any welcome distraction from the smell at the back of the plane. Thanks for responding!
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November 16, 2006 at 9:27 pm by AnonymousThere was a protest at the Burlington Airport and it said, “HOw would you like to eat with a blanket over your head?”
Think about what planes can be like before takeoff – Hot! Now take two bodies close together, Hotter still. Why is it appropriate to force children to eat in an uncomfortable environment because someone’s prudish about something we are designed to do? If it offends someone, they should graciously look away. I strongly suggest that it is far more appropriate to those who are “offended” that they simply should not watch. Airline seats are hardly “in your face”, especially the circumstance described.
Additionally, I think the airlines should encourage mothers and fathers to feed their infants during takeoff and landing. You can’t tell an infant to swallow to release the pressure in their ear so nursing actually helps keep the baby more comfortable. Ever hear a screaming baby during take off or landing? They are in pain because they can’t equalize the pressure in their ears. Nursing would solve this problem. I always arranged feeding time around take off and landing for this reason. The other passenger’s should consider what they would rather have to deal with – a woman quietly nursing, or a screaming baby.
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November 17, 2006 at 12:17 am by AnonymousHere here! Well said!
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November 17, 2006 at 7:28 am by AnonymousI breastfed my daughter and it was a wonderful experience, but I do not think that Delta was out of line for wanting the coverage of a blanket. It is a tiny inconvenience. Breastfeeding is beautiful and natural, but most people in our culture are not comfortable watching a woman whip out a breast in public. I don’t think that is unreasonable, frankly. We can do what is best for our children without making others uncomfortable.
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Anonymous Reply:
November 23rd, 2006 at 11:42 pm
The way you have written your reaction to this delta story is as if you were there in the plane, a witness to the mother’s experience with the flight stewardess. Is that the case? My question to you if you were not on the plane is this… and what if she was digitified about it.
Would you be more or less emotive about the story, in an angry fashion, at the woman’s indignity of breastfeeding on the plane as to be found out by the flight attendants (usually the pepople who are up walking up and down the aisles of a plane the most) that she was indeed feeding her baby from-the-breast on the plane? Your comments come off like we’re still in the fifties, yea, ‘Good for the baby, but keep it out of anyone’s line of sight– and don’t keep that up for too long (breastfeeding). ‘Its so unsightly’. period.
Give me a break lady. You have no idea of the detailed specifics to what happened, which makes you in no position to decry ‘victim stancing’ or whatever your term was…your observed judgements from afar are ancient, weak and irritating.
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I’m not sure why you believe that you have a right to not be offended that trumps a child’s right to eat and seek comfort from its mother.
If you don’t like what someone is saying, the first amendment tells you to stop listening, not to silence them. If you don’t like a mother nursing, please walk away or look away.
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Anonymous Reply:
November 16th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
VERY WELL SAID!!!!!!!!! I think too many people are interfering in other peoples business and lives. Unless it DIRECTLY affects yours; lay off.
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Who cares if someone sees a breast! The first response to such a complaint should be: That’s what breasts are for!
But, we also need to stand up for ourselves and for each other. I studied martial arts for years so that I would NOT be powerless is the face of fascism. And when I began breastfeeding, I prepared for such an occasion when my son was born by practicing saying this in the mirror:
When I finish feeding my son, I’m going to Kick Your Ass!.
I could say it with confidence since I knew I could do it. Shame to ANY man or woman who didn’t stand up to protect this mother and child in the same way.
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November 17, 2006 at 1:00 pm by AnonymousI have breastfed three kids, all of whom would take a blanket and throw it out the window if they could. They hated being covered up. They felt too hot, too confined, etc. I was not willing to stop breastfeeding because of it. Women in Africa throw their breasts BEHIND them, or to the side to nurse thier kids. Are we so prudish that our culture has to be protected from naked breasts doing what they are designed to do?
Karen
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November 17, 2006 at 1:16 pm by AnonymousThere is a very important matter of principle here that the previous poster as well as Delta employees and officials must understand. This woman was essentially asked to cover up the FACT of breastfeeding. The problem was not that her breast was visible–it was not–rather than the fact that of her breastfeeding in the first place, which was visible. A huge difference in terms of its implications.
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November 17, 2006 at 2:16 pm by AnonymousI’m sorry but I don’t see how whether you or anyone else is comfortable with my breast feeding is relevant. It seems as though everytime something like this happens people are out there saying, “well, the woman was not being discreet.” Of course, for my own reasons I like to be as discreet as possible but whether my level of being “discreet” meets with your approval but perhaps not someone elses etc is not a standard that one can always meet. The end result is women feel nervous or avoid breastfeeding for fear that they “might” offend someone or in this case get kicked off of a plane. I find it sad that the story even had to explain that she was at the end of the plane sitting next to the window with her husband sitting next to her. (Now, I’m sorry, but that should meet any “reasonable person” standard of discreetness) But I find it even more sad that even under that level of discreetness you and others think it is ok to tell her to cover both her and her baby with a blanket? Do you know how hot it is on those planes? Do you know that many (including my own 17 month old) babies will not nurse with a blanket over them? I think that the discussion regarding what is an “acceptable” levels of discreetness supports that there needs to be legislation to say it is ok to breastfeed, regardless of whether someong doesn’t want to “watch it unfold.”
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November 17, 2006 at 2:36 pm by Anonymousit is that she was kicked of the plane for breast feeding. My daughter is almost 18 months old now and I have flown with her about 8 times and have always nursed her on take off and landing and sometime in between. Once was I given a blanket to cover myself. I thanked the attendant for the blanket and then handed it to my husband. She gave me another one and I handed it to my husband. She wasn’t happy but thankfully walked away. I can assure you that I had NOTHING showing. I was wearing a motherwear nursing top that covered by breast except for the nipple. Lets get off of this red herring. A blanket is nothing more than a way of saying you should not be doing that here.
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November 17, 2006 at 2:41 pm by AnonymousI agree with “Yes, big deal” and “the issue wasn’t that she refused the blanket” that should have been covering her up, the blanket was simply a way of telling her to stop!
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November 17, 2006 at 3:56 pm by AnonymousEgotrips left at the door…
Note to self…Martial Arts practicioner does not equate to mature, confident adult or role model for offspring…Confuscious say- person with small brain lacks neurons to stop mouth from flapping like the wind.
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November 17, 2006 at 6:14 pm by spielbeeMom’s Rising is about moms coming together, despite our differences. I think personal attacks should be left at the door.
Erin Riley, Los Angeles, CA
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November 18, 2006 at 9:55 pm by AnonymousSo you say you think breastfeeding is okay, you just don’t “want to see it unfold”, meaning you can’t watch a baby and mother breastfeeding. As a bf mom of two, who tandem nursed and believes in extended bf, my children wouldn’t keep a blanket on them. Can you blame them? How do you feel when a blanket is thrown over your head and suddenly, you find it harder to breath and it starts getting really hot. Of course, your reaction is to kick the blanket off. So my response to your perspective is simply, Don’t watch! Be respectful, keep your eyes on something else and just let the baby nurse!
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November 20, 2006 at 11:25 am by AnonymousI would like you to experience this ‘tiny’ inconvenience some time and then tell me it is ‘tiny’.
You try holding any kind of cloth over a squirmy baby who is so eager to eat that he is having trouble getting your nipple in his mouth properly and is biting you at the same time because he is frustrated that the milk is not coming out. You can’t help him find it because you can’t see him. All while sitting in a hot, close environment where you can’t even move an elbow without hitting your neighbor with it. No, that does not qualify as a ‘tiny’ inconvenience.
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November 20, 2006 at 1:57 pm by AnonymousWhat exactly are you seeing when someone near breastfeeds? I had a co-worker (female) who constantly complained about me “whipping out my brown eyed susan”. If she had actually seen my nipple, she wouldn’t be calling it brown!
This same woman a few weeks later said, “Are you nursing her or holding her?” When she found out I was holding the baby, she commented that she often couldn’t tell the difference. Although she continued to suggest that I go to the bathroom to nurse. Does this make sense when she can’t even see anything? It was the notion that bothered her, not that she was visually distressed by the sight of my breast.
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November 24, 2006 at 2:40 am by Anonymoussome babies like mine will not nurse under a blanket as they simply get too hot…sorry I am a very discreet nurser until I try to use a blanket at which point my son starts to pitch a fit due to being covered up. This is a common experience.
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November 16, 2006 at 2:20 pm by AnonymousWhen my five-year-old son was four months old, I nursed him on a flight from Indianapolis to Washington National (now called “Reagan” airport, but I refuse to call it that, especially after what Reagan did to the air traffic controllers). Anyway, breastfeeding my baby was beneficial in so many ways: not only did it soothe him, nourish him, and help him to sleep, but it also alleviated the “ear-popping” syndrome associated with altitude change.
Nobody wants to sit near a crying baby on a long flight. Is it really less desirable to have a happy, breastfeeding child on board?
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November 16, 2006 at 2:21 pm by AnonymousI am still breastfeeding my 6 month old and have to travel regularly for work. The new TSA regulations about liquids on flights are a huge inconvenience to working moms because TSA only allows breastmilk to be brought on board if a woman has her baby with her.
This leaves women the choice of dumping their milk or checking it, which is a huge pain. If you check the breastpump with the milk, it can damage the breastpump, so you wind up having to carry the breastpump but check the milk.
I think women should be allowed to bring their milk on board even without their babies if they can prove they are a breastfeeding mom, for example by bringing their child’s birth certificate or just showing their breast pump.
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Anonymous Reply:
June 6th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
There a little strange but here we go.
1.) Do you get turned on/feel horny when breastfeeding? I ask because my hubby likes to “nurse” (I have no milk) during foreplay and it makes me crazy.
* If yes do you masterbate?
2.) Is it ok to let my hubby nurse during foreplay when we do have a baby?
3.)Is it ok to let hubby have sex with me while the baby is nursing while s/he is little? like newborn to 4 months? Not old enough to know whats going on?
Thanks in advance. Sorry if I offened anyone.
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I couldn’t agree wtih you more. I almost had to through out over 28 oz of milk on a return work trip because I didn’t have my baby with me. Please. If it is ok to take milk on if they are with you then clearly it is not that dangerous to allow breast milk without a baby. They could have us gate check it so that we could keep the pump with us while in the airport and off the conveyor belts etc. and then put it under the plane if they are so worried about it. I have written my congresswoman/man and my Senator and think everyone that has this issue should do the same and I think that MomsRIsing should take this issue on as well.
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November 21, 2006 at 10:58 pm by AnonymousPersonally I find the TSA “no baby, no breastmilk” rule as offensive and insensitive as Delta’s inappropriate removal of a breastfeeding mother from a plane.
Those of us who cannot or choose not to give our babies formula MUST provide them with breastmilk. It is an irreplaceable necessity. We all understand the need to take appropriate actions to protect planes against threats, but some common sense needs to factor in as well.
The Washington Post ran an article on 21 Nov about new TSA guidance allowing some exceptions for Sikhs to carry religiously-required symbolic daggers. I applaud this move. If the TSA can have the sensitivity and understanding to work with the Sikh community on an acceptable compromise and appropriate training, I hope breastfeeding moms can do the same awareness and education to work with TSA to come to an agreement on allowing breastmilk to be carried on board without a baby. Dumping my baby’s milk in the garbage would rise the a similar emotional reaction as directly harming my child.
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November 16, 2006 at 2:29 pm by AnonymousThere are too many important issues facing mothers today and siding with this woman is not where Momsrising needs to be focusing their attention. Yes, mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public without worrying about being harassed, but it is also our job as humans to be considerate of the feelings of others. She could have covered herself with a blanket and none of this would have been an issue. There are a lot of healthy, normal functions our bodies perform that we don’t do in front of others or will do discreetly if someone expresses their discomfort. Let’s not jump on the hysteria bandwagon and use some commonsense or we are going to have a tougher time getting respect from others on the issues that matter.
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That was exactly my thought. Not everyone needs/wants to see a woman’s breasts in public– baby hanging off of it or not. The woman obviously wanted to make an issue about it, or would have accepted the blanket, and Delta was completely in their rights to make a more comfortable experience for the rest of their customers.
AND to support your point, there are much bigger fish to fry as working moms!
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November 16, 2006 at 4:27 pm by AnonymousI disagree. This is a make or break issue for me. Breastfeeding whenever, wherever and however. Period. It is our right. It is great for mom and baby. NO ONE else will stand up for this but women and I am shocked to my core that there is such a lack of compassion and understanding for the rights of women and babies on this board. (I must be in la leche league la la land!) We can’t discard an issue like breastfeeding to make room for other issues. Absolutely not. There is no way I will take this great and wonderous journey with you gorgeous woman without it. Thank you.
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November 16, 2006 at 8:22 pm by AnonymousWhile it is true that there are so many issues facing mothers today, I disagree completely that with the above premise. What do we want as mothers? I believe that it is to have our role validated, respected and appreciated. Yes, we want maternity leave, and open, flexible work. Yes, realistic and fair wages are crucial. I’m all for excellent childcare. Don’t get me started on healthcare.
But the reason we do not have these things is because MOTHERHOOD IS NOT VALUED IN THIS CULTURE. This case speaks directly to that. The woman in this case states that she was being discrete. Why do some of us quickly jump to the conclusion that she is not being honest? There are many reasons NOT to cover a breastfeeding child with a blanket which have been stated in other replies- skwirmy kids (I’ve got 2), heat, possibly dirty blankets. Discrete breastfeeding does not necessarily mean having a child completely hidden from view. The bottom line, the more we agree that breastfeeding is shameful and to be hidden, the more we demean motherhood and our role as nurturers for our children. And when we demean those things, we have no chance of getting those other things that supposedly “really matter”.
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November 17, 2006 at 1:28 pm by AnonymousNot all babies and toddlers will tolerate being covered up while nursing. Mine didn’t, from age 5 months. Did this affect my ability to bf in public? Yes, enourmously. Did that have a negative effect on how long I was able to breastfeed? Absolutely. If you can cover up, fine, do so. Please don’t assume it’s a simply little thing any decent woman can and should do. Please. A little understanding and empathy would go well with the respect you’re preaching about.
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November 17, 2006 at 2:57 pm by AnonymousIf breastfeedin and the health benefits that it provides to our children is not a mothering issue then I’m not sure what is.
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November 19, 2006 at 1:32 pm by AnonymousThe flight attendant broke the law by kicking this mother off the plane. A woman’s basic legal rights were violated. Because you are clearly stating that this isn’t something we need to be worrying about then let’s just drop ALL civil rights cases against women. The fact that laws are there to protect us is a moot point. We should only enforce the ones that YOU care about. Yes, let’s pick and choose the laws that are important in protecting women, and the ones that aren’t. Silly me, I thought all laws were there for a reason. Maybe when your pet cause rolls around there will be no one there to protect you.
One thing I continually notice about this particular argument is the use of “buzz words”. Much like how the Repubs can make a phrase stick – think “flip flopper” – the public has glommed on to certain phrases regarding breastfeeding. Whenever I see the words “flopped it out”, “bodily function”, “not being discreet”, “hysteria bandwagon” I know immediately that I am not dealing with someone who thinks for themselves. They are just parroting what they have heard others say and not bothering to think that really what is happening is that a woman is feeding her child and someone is telling her she’s disgusting, and what she’s doing is somehow perverted.
This entire issue makes me incredibly sad. This mother was feeding her child. Feeding her child! And here we are, WOMEN, debating about whether or not that is ok.
Melissa, Los Angeles, CA
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November 16, 2006 at 2:30 pm by AnonymousI’m so sorry that this mother had to go through this embarrassment. While my son was 6months old, we flew from Minnesota to be with my husband at his graduate school in Oregon. I was very stressed out with trying to plan for every possible issue that might come up while traveling alone with an infant. One thing that I never thought twice about was breastfeeding my son on an airplane. I had a layover during our trip, so I sat next to different people on each flight. I carried a small receiving blanket with me, but I could never cover myself completely due to my son’s movements and the tight quarters of airplane travel. I know that a few people around me knew what I was doing, but there were hundreds of people on the flight. Most people couldn’t have cared less, and were probably happy that my son was quiet.
I wonder how many people on this woman’s flight were inconvenienced, not because of her breastfeeding, but because the airline took that opportunity to delay taking off to attempt to control something that most passengers didn’t even know was going on.
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Since I wasn’t there to see it, I can’t say if the mother was overexposed or not. Evidently, the flight attendant thought so. I breastfed my son for two years on airplanes, in attorneys’ offices and at sushi bars and never received a single negative comment. Woe to the person who would have tried! I was always careful to not expose my breast while breastfeeding, which really isn’t difficult, even without a blanket. I don’t get why this is even an issue. It is entirely possible to breastfeed without most people even realizing what you’re doing. Delta didn’t tell her not to breastfeed her baby — they told her to do it more discreetly, even offering a solution. Kicking her off the plane is too extreme, but why did she refuse the blanket? There is nothing wrong with breasts, but our culture is not nudist, so it shouldn’t be surprising that some people are going to be uncomfortable with exposure of breasts in public. Especially when it’s usually unnecessary.
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? babies eating is NOT BREAST EXPOSURE!! Good Grief, you people are such pervs!
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November 17, 2006 at 8:46 am by AnonymousWell, how do you know that the flight attendant’s opinion conforms with the my opinion or your opinion of “discreet” anyway? You’re making an assumption that the mother was being indiscreet, because it was one person’s opinion that she was. Discretion is a matter of opinion, and so discretion cannot be a requirement of the right to nurse our children.
However, I saw a picture of her nursing her daughter in a news article, and there was no breast visible at all (not that it matters). However, it was obvious that her daughter was breastfeeding. If she was being discreet, as she said, and as it appears she was, then the flight attendant’s problem was with the act of nursing.
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November 16, 2006 at 2:37 pm by AnonymousWell, I have to say that I’m a little surprised at the comments that have been made so far. Yes, there are other important things happening in the world, but this is a big issue also. The fact is, the laws in VT state that she has a right to breast feed when and where she wants. You can try to cover the baby, but honestly most will just throw the blanket off. How would you feel if you were trying to eat and you had someone placing a blanket over your head?!
I am from the VT area and I would also like to note that there were several families that staged a “nurse-in” yesterday at the airport in support of breastfeeding. If you would like more info, it was covered by the burlington free press, you can see the article on thier website.
I don’t have any children yet, but my husband and I are trying and I plan to breastfeed. I would like to make sure I have that right no matter where I am at the time. This is a huge women’s rights issue that needs to be brought to light. Bottom line, if you don’t like it, don’t look.
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Does this mean I’m allowed to ask the flight attendant to talk to the scantily clad woman sitting next to me who has a low cut blouse on and ask *her* to cover up?
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November 16, 2006 at 8:00 pm by AnonymousSo, why should someone be bothered by a breastfeeding mother? A flight attendnant no less! Isn’t it her job to tend to the passengers? Why should a passenger have to make her feel comfortable? I don’t get what the big deal is about a bit of boob showing. I would never cover my child’s head with a blanket while she’s eating, nor would I expect anyone else to to cover their head while eating. If you don’t like it don’t look…she was on a plane, in a seat, it’s not like she was strolling the aisles. Up until fifty or sixty years ago all of mankind was reared on breastmilk…what’s happened to our “advanced” society? It’s very sad. That said, I’m looking forward to my next flight.
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November 16, 2006 at 10:06 pm by Anonymousbut, I’m thinking the women here who don’t get the problem with covering up have never breastfed…
It’s almost IMPOSSIBLE to cover a baby who is not a newborn. Seriously! And, if you’ve ever breastfed, you know when your baby is latched on … nobody is seeing anything but a big baby head. You see more boobie in a Victoria’s Secret ad, but nobody seems to have an issue with that because in our seriously flawed culture, breasts are meant to entice and sell things. Pathetic!
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November 17, 2006 at 1:23 pm by AnonymousI wasn’t there, neither were you, to see just how much of that breast was visible. Depends on what she was wearing and if she had pulled her clothing up from the waist or down from the neckline; how the kid was attached, etc. If we leave others to decide what is decent there will always be someone who gets offended — let’s face it, even by the mere REMINDER of the IDEA of a child suckling at a breast. Covering up is bad policy.
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November 17, 2006 at 1:25 pm by AnonymousI don’t think this is small stuff. Nowhere in the news report does it say the mother “was letting it hang out” or “whipped it out” or any of these other phrases that have been tossed around. She states clearly that she was discreetly breastfeeding in the back corner of the plane. Why are so many who disagree with this mother using phrases like that? Be fair! I think when a woman is humiliated and denied her rights for doing something normal and particular to motherhood, it IS a big deal. Yes, there’s a war on, but there has been a war on women for a long time. If you don’t think that this is a part of that longer, more subtle war, or that some people are just “too militant”, then you are not paying careful attention. I have three daughters, and I am paying attention.
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November 17, 2006 at 2:54 pm by AnonymousI didn’t realize that my rights and the rights of my daugher were small stuff.
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November 16, 2006 at 3:28 pm by AnonymousI love the way you put this! Coudn’t agree more!
Cate Colburn-Smith
Public exhibitionist who is currently breastfeeding an almost-three-year-old (in private, I might add).
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November 16, 2006 at 4:14 pm by AnonymousThe double standards among men and women continue. Breast feeding means being a good mother but refusing to use a nasty acryllic blanket (I’ve never seen one I could prove was clean) to cover up with is bad seems a lttle ridiculous to me. As a side note, I have flown on Delta flights with my son and have found them to be very nasty about babies. I had to board after first class people had boarded hauling a 1 yearold, diaper bag, purse and car seat with no help from the flight attendants. On another flight, they announced that meals were no longer served on flights and proceded to sell horribly overpriced food to all the passengers, but ran out before getting half way through the flight. A mother with 3 children, who had nearly missed the flight because of weather and had had no opportunity to get any food for her children in the terminal, couldn’t get anything for her kids. Delta is very unfreindly to children in general and in my experience.
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November 16, 2006 at 9:33 pm by AnonymousWell, I have to admit when I read the email my first thought was “why couldn’t she just take the freakin’ blanket? This is just more sensationalism taking away from the real concerns of mothers…”. After reading all the responses here I have to say I’ve changed my mind, and I’m signing this petition. I myself have never had a negative experience in the 14 months I have been nursing my son. This includes the time I had to nurse him on a plane (Southwest) in a front-row aisle seat while other passengers were boarding (AND he kept trying to pull the blanket off his head!). No one said a thing…I think they were all just glad he was quiet as there was another baby screaming two rows behind me. So while I think that this Delta thing is probably an abberation in our mostly pro-breastfeeding culture (there’s a reason it’s news), it’s important that we women hold the line when it comes to feeding our children in public.
I have to add to this that I think the fact that the baby was 22 months rather than 2 months has a lot to do with the reaction the woman got. I have found that the older the baby gets, the less tolerant others are of breastfeeding. Personally I have found motherhood to be an extremely humbling experience, and I try not to judge (or at least not to comment on) another mom’s parenting style.
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November 17, 2006 at 8:56 am by AnonymousI initially thought the same thing but if the plane was about to take off than she would have been forced to move back to her seat. I am preparing to be a mom and I am really thankful for this group because as a clergywoman I already have some strikes against me concerning children let alone breast feeding – Sunday mornings in public and having to breast feed in between and leaky breasts – women have enough to worry about don’t we – without all these stereotypes getting in the way. Why can’t we be respected as we fulfill our first calling to be moms and fulfill our second calling to what ever our job might be – what better way to teach our childen right? I agree this issue goes deeper that what it appears and affects all the others.
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Anonymous Reply:
November 16th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
Cover with a blanket–do they ask other patrons to cover their heads with a blanket when they eat their airline provided “snack”?
That being said I have succesfully nursed my child on Delta, Northwest, and British Airways without a flight attendant making a peep as it isn’t an issue ever.
That flight attendant was just being a dictator and enforcing regulations that didn’t exist. If I were that mom, I would be checking the laws of where the flight originated and where it concluded AND would be consulting an attorney.
In fact..I live in Florida and the law does protect me. Heck–if you see a little bit of my nipple or areola–tough cookies for you! Do I flash? HECK NO! Am I discrete–absolutely..but the LAW protects me even if you get a little incidental peek that you wouldn’t have gotten had you kept to yourself.
I believe in all 50 states there is some law that does protect women NIP (I had heard this at a seminar and have not yet looked up all 50 states).
It is NOT indecent exposure and there is no need to make such requests.
If those offended would quit staring–they wouldn’t even notice what is going on.
When you cover your head with a blanket while you eat your meals…then you can provide input.
Until then, butt out!
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You have got to be kidding! I have read this three times and I still can’t tell if you are being outrageous for effect and you think this was indeed not OK. I live in Burlington, VT and this has been a hot topic of debate. One local man compared breastfeeding to urinating in a jar on a plane!!! I am shocked when I hear such ignorance but the level of judgment in these posts is way more shocking and much more subtle than the “pee in the jar” analogy. Lose the judgment! In fact, if you are going to judge your fellow women be as extreme as the ignorant man. It is much more honest. It’s analagous to “I have friends who are gay, BUT…” Stop leading in with I can relate, I breastfed BUT this woman should have just complied in my opinion. Who cares about your opinion!!! She had a legal right to breastfeed. All of my friends and the majority of women I see choose modesty as their guide and for those who can’t take it, hopefully you sit next to a discreet nurser on a plane but if not, don’t look! Could it really be that simple. It does not surprise me when men make such outrageous statements but the comments from women in these posts have got me fired up. I thought I would have a totally different response to this forum but I am dumbfounded. It has been such a disappointment to feel this level of judgment. BTW, I’m nursing a 22-month old happily, and discreetly I might add for those of you who are so stuck on that non-issue. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until age 2. Make decisions based on fact and what is best for you and YOUR family, allowing a doctor who may or may not be willing to take a stance around this issue is foolish.
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November 16, 2006 at 3:38 pm by AnonymousThis is exactly the arguement that needs to be made: where do we draw the line between what is appropriate and discreet behaviour and dress? It is appalling that there are some women–breastfeeding mothers no less–who think that there is something wrong or off-putting about a mother’s need to feed her baby in the most comfortable way possible.
I know so many women who already feel awkward and uncomfortable with breastfeeding. To think that we’d make them feel even worse about it and less likely to do it saddens and infuriates me. I wish I’d been on the plane. I would have certainly had a few thoughts to share with that flight attendant.
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November 17, 2006 at 1:31 pm by AnonymousI think next time I am flying I will ask the airline attendant if s/he plans to push a blanket on a woman with a thong “peeking” out of the waist of her low-cut jeans as she walks through the aisles to the bathroom. Would that be legal? Would it be fair? How would THAT one go over?
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November 20, 2006 at 11:37 am by AnonymousYes! And what about the person reading a copy of Vanity Fair with a nude woman on the cover with her naughty bits concealed with her hands and body position?
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November 16, 2006 at 3:43 pm by AnonymousBeing a breastfeeding mom for more than five years (yes more than one child) has given me plenty of experience feeding my children in every place that I have ever taken them. Never would they have enjoyed or allowed my to cover their heads while they were eating. Would you be able to eat with a blanket over your head? Come on, the statute in my state exclaims that a women may feed her child whereever she and the child are legally allowed to be. An airplane seat, that the woman PAID for is exactly that place.
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November 16, 2006 at 6:55 pm by AnonymousThey cannot make passengers more comfortable if it violates the law.
NIP is pretty much protected in all states.
In Florida–they can’t ask me to “cover with a blanket”. EVER!
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November 17, 2006 at 2:03 am by AnonymousGood grief. What is wrong with people? It is okay to breastfeed – indeed, it is *better* to breastfeed, as long as no one actually sees a
“breast”? Really, people, grow up! Not all babies eat with their heads covered. Would you? The next time you settle in for a hot dog, think about having a sheet over your head. Would that be a pleasant eating experience?
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November 17, 2006 at 1:34 pm by Anonymousthis kind of judgemental crap has no place in a movement supposedly based on compassion.
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November 16, 2006 at 5:58 pm by AnonymousWhy not just compare it to vomiting or pooping? That is exactly the point here. Nursing is not a disgusting, shameful, private act and it is NOT bad manners. It is a normal, healthy way for a baby to EAT. It is best for babies, healthier than bottles, and it should be the norm. As long as people continue to equate it with gross bodily functions like passing gas, pooping, and vomiting, this will not happen. No wonder most women choose to bottle feed!
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November 17, 2006 at 10:00 am by AnonymousRead “Volatile Bodies” for a good feminist view. I am loving reading these posts and noting the narrow view everyone has–just small pockets of knowledge (mainly about breastfeeding, something any mammal can do) and no overall view of the big picture. Historically speaking, people traditionally feel as though everything that leaves their body is taboo, so, sorry, breastmilk is comparable to “poop” and vomit and blood and any other excretion. (The idea being that what leaves our body still maintains the subject of our body–it’s little pieces of us). This isn’t a new thought–it goes back to duality and DeCartes and Spinoza and other philosophers. And we thought only toddlers thought that!
So, knowing that, perhaps we can try to desensitize people to breastmilk. I have to agree with ME ME ME on the “set the example” thing. Just doing your thing, exposing people to a discreet act of breastfeeding (as opposed to exposing your breast) and not pushing a huge self-righteous diatribe. Instead, why not start with getting mainstream media to show more women breastfeeding (Rachel, on Friends was great way to make it look cool). As pathetic as it is, this is what people follow–the cult of celebrity.
You can bet your bottom dollar people won’t accept breastfeeding if you keep trying to shove it at them by making demands or acting self-righteous. Instead, why not accept that people have different levels of knowledge and tolerance for breastfeeding, and act in the best interest of all involved. Oh, to others that are getting on a plane to breastfeed, keep in mind that the seats on all airplanes are small. Act accordingly.
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Anonymous Reply:
November 16th, 2006 at 5:43 pm
If you don’t like it, don’t look. She was putting no one in danger, she had every right to be there, and to nurse without a blanket.
I don’t like it when men show their butt-cracks, but I can deal with them being on the plane with me… or should I demand they put a blanket on butts?
– Penina
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This woman was not asking anyone to watch her, she wasn’t carrying a placard saying Breastfeeding is Best. She was feeding her baby! The only reason anyone is being self-righteous is because our rights are being challenged! And I think it is a great idea to get the mainstream media to accept, reflect and show breastfeeding, but a lot of us are too busy just nursing our babies!
I can only assume that you have never breastfed, and with all due respect, if that is the case, get off the soapbox. Plane seats are very small and I act accordingly. I smile, I try to get an aisle seat and I have always, always been complimented on my quiet children (after they stop breastfeeding, it’s another story…) and the vast majority of people have been very respectful.
As someone who reads feminist lit, I would really expect you to be more understanding and tolerant of a woman’s rights.
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Anonymous Reply:
November 17th, 2006 at 3:46 pm
I’m Emily’s aunt, and she has asked me to post on blogs I find that are discussing this issue. Just to clarify: there was NO ONE around Emily and her husband. No one sitting next to them and no one across the aisle. The only person offended (and who actually stated she was offended) was the flight attendant. Emily was, indeed, being discreet. And there were no passenger complaints because there was not a single passenger who could see Emily and their daughter sitting in the seat.
If you want to see Emily, Brad, and River, they’ll be on Fox news, today, Friday, Nov. 17 at 5 pm Eastern. They’ll be on Good Morning America on Monday the 20th.
Freedom Airlines just issued a statement this morning saying they invited her and her family to re-board the plane. Emily said this is an out-and-out lie and has witnesses to that effect. The Burlington Free Press has a story on their website today about that. The reporter is following up to talk to witnesses. Just fyi that Emily is quite shaken by this recent development. A simply apology from the airlines would suffice.
She also thanks all those who support her right to breastfeed in public; she is working with the Vermont Human Rights Commission.
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Anonymous Reply:
November 17th, 2006 at 5:33 pm
Thank you Emily’s aunt for posting more information. It is so hard for some people to believe that breastfeeding is not, in general, supported in our culture. Many people have been making assumptions that Emily must have been “flaunting” her nursing. I think it is also difficult for some people to admit how uncomfortable they themselves are with breastfeeding. Some nursing mothers have been quick to blame the victim here assuming that she must not have behaved as properly as they would have in the same situation. Personally I have always been discrete, and I still encountered problems with clear distaste at the the fact that I was nursing (not that my breasts were showing, but that I was nursing). It is not always possible to nurse so that “no one knows what you are doing.” But that should never be a requirement.
Many people also assumed that it must have been a male passenger or passengers who were offended by the nursing. It saddens but does not surprise me that the only person to “witness” and object to the nursing was a young woman. What a sad, sad statement on the value of motherhood in our society!
Good luck to Emily. I am so glad that she stood up for herself and her family. She needs to keep getting out there and letting people know that she was behaving appropriately and it was the flight attendant who had the problem!
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You are assuming. I was in the past and am now a breastfeeding mother, and what I’ve learned over my years of breastfeeding is that people have a different tolerance for everything–no where is this clearer than on this thread. We are all for the same thing (breastfeeding) but we all have very different opinions about how this should be handled in public. Everyone thinks they are right–so where is the truth? Think, for example, about kissing in public (some think, “How cute” others “Get a room”). Our actions in public are subject to public scrutiny and social constructs. That being said, the way to acceptance is by getting the public on your side. So, maybe an email to CBS instead of to Momsrising asking them to have their characters breastfeed would be more productive. We all have the same 24 hours in a day and can make a difference, even as we nurse.
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Anonymous Reply:
November 17th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
I breastfed both of my boys 10 and 8 years ago when nobody was standing up for nursing moms. I always had their favorite little lightweight blankie to put over my chest…neither baby suffocated or hypoventilated (which is what actually happens when a person breathes in carbon dioxide instead of fresh air/oxygen) and nobody fell over themselves looking at my exposed boob. I was a travel agent at the time and traveled all over the place with my babies…and I was NEVER–not even once– asked to leave anywhere and people seemed to appreciate the fact that I had chosen something to do for my baby (breastfeed) without forcing them to gaze upon my womanly gift and accept that this is the way it should be. Sorry folks, a bare breast in public, no matter how noble the use, is a bit much to expect EVERYONE to accept. A little blankie never hurt anybody.
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If you are a breastfeeding mother, I really want to know how you do it. How DO you keep your baby happy, calm, quiet, and fed on a crowded airplane in a little tiny seat where you really barely have enough room for yourself? You seem to be assuming that most of us breastfeeding moms are by nature exhibitionists and want to advertise what we are doing to the world. That’s not the case for me. I just need to get my baby calm and feed her, that’s all. And since the airlines make no special accomodations for me to do so I can only do the best I can. The last time I nursed on a plane it was a HORRIBLE experience. I tried my best to be discrete,but the seats are too small and the space is too crowded. So what do you do? Stay home? Let your baby scream? Please enlighten us!
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Anonymous Reply:
November 17th, 2006 at 8:52 pm
I have flown several flights with my daughter and breastfed her both at take-off and landing for every one. I have never been asked to cover up or even looked at oddly. During those times, every one should be seated (not wandering the aisles). Further, the seats in every plane I have been on face forward. You have to crane your neck to see some one seated in your same aisle. Finally, her husband was next to her, to boot. I see no reason for this woman to have to cover up, even if she WAS showing her whole breast (which is hard when there is a baby’s head in the way). This is clearly a matter of an attendant trying to make something out of nothing!!
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First off, thanks for doubting my veracity concerning my breastfeeding. Apparently being right is important to you, and that’s fine.
Yes, it’s difficult on a crowded plane, but it’s difficult for everyone, be they old, young, handicapped, over 6’5″ tall, I could go on and on. But when I get on a plane I know what I am getting into–I don’t blame the airline for a small seat; I simply know I’ll be challenged unless I want to take the train or ask for first class. The airlines shouldn’t have to make special accomodations for you or anyone else (this was my original point). They can’t, or they wouldn’t be in business.
As I stated earlier, I don’t believe most nursing mothers are exhibitionists, but I do believe that some women (and men) are more comfortable with their bodies than others. Want proof? Go to any local gym locker room. Some hide everything fumbling with towels, some walk naked to the shower stalls, some wait till they get home to shower. This is just how people are. And I believe they all deserve as much respect as we can give them. With this in mind, wearing nursing clothing, a light sweater, etc, all sounded like good suggestions from a previous post. Another idea? Start petitioning the airlines for a discrete comfortable place–perhaps they could sacrifice a row of their precious seats where nursing moms could sit together, as women in a community, nursing their babies. Who knows? It could happen. But I’m thinking you really don’t want my suggestions…
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Anonymous Reply:
November 18th, 2006 at 11:01 am
I breastfed my two sons in many places discreetly, and was never asked to “cover up.” And that was over 25 years ago! A breastfeeding baby draws much less attention than a screaming baby!!
Recently I was in an airport and saw a young woman sitting on the floor by the wall holding her baby in the obvious (to a nursing mother) breastfeeding position. From 100 feet away I caught her eye and smiled at her. She smiled back, and I knew she knew that I approved and applauded what she was doing. It was a special moment for this 61-year-old former nursing mom.
In a culture that uses the overexposed breast to sell everything from shaving cream to cars, it is sad that the primary nourishing function of the breast is subject to derision.
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I did do all those things. I wore discrete nursing clothes, I brought a blanket. I was still made to feel very uncomfortable about nursing my baby on an airplane. It seems the act itself is offensive to some people. And it is hard if not impossible to stay totally covered up in those small spaces. I did not ask for any special treatment, but I do believe the only thing I could have done in that situation to “put everyone at ease” would have been to stay home. My baby would have cried loudly had I not nursed her, and that certainly would not have put everyone at ease. That is why it is easy for me to beileve that the woman in question was being as discrete as she could possibly be given her own circumstances and yet she was asked to leave the plane. I am not asking for anyting special. Just to be able to fly on an airplane like any other person. So, what would you have done in my situation? Asssume that you are sitting there nursing and clearly people are not at ease? Would you stop? Would you leave the plane? Please do not imply that I was not as modest as I possibly could have been. I was as covered as I could be. But people could tell what I was doing. The small space made it VERY akward. What would you have done?
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Anonymous Reply:
November 18th, 2006 at 3:42 pm
I believe in breastfeeding, but I believe in being discreet. If you are in a public place, it is appropriate to cover yourself, because it does make other people uncomfortable seeing a naked breast. Until naked bodies are more accepted in our society, people will be uncomfortable with breastfeeding moms who are uncovered. If they had said to her, stop feeding or get off the plane, I would be right there to sign the petition. Breastfeeding moms need to be considerate of others also.
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I don’t hear anyone blaming the airlines for anything other than the flight attendant calling her nursing passenger offensive and having her escorted off the plane. I completely take responsibility for my situation on the plane and I’ve made it work many many times.
And Freedom Airlines has said that their policy is that women can breastfeed on their planes with our without a blanket. The flight attendant was in error and has been disciplined. No one here is asking for “special accomodations,” just for our legal rights.
I’m sorry you feel on the defensive.
Erin Riley, Los Angeles, CA
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November 17, 2006 at 1:45 pm by AnonymousI tried really hard to “make it work” when I took my infant on a plane. It certainly isn’t easy for anyone. My point is that even if you try very hard to be discreet, given the space constraints, it may not meet everyone’s standards of discreteness. There are some posts on here with people saying things like “I nursed my kids all over and no one even knew what I was doing.” That’s great, but the fact of the matter is, sometimes, in some situations, no matter how discrete you try to be, and how sensitive you are to the feelings of others, there won’t be a way to nurse without people knowing exactly what you are doing. Airplanes happen to be one of those places. Often every seat is full and there is no way to move to another place. Often, there are elbows and suitcases and meal carts bumping you. People may be able to tell you are nursing. They may even catch a glance of something they do not want to see as you are bumped or jostled. I really don’t like sitting so close to stangers in general, and certainly not when I am nursing. But on an airplane we really have no choice. I do not think nursing mothers need special accomodations on airplanes. I do think that they should try their best to make others feel comfortable, but once they have done that, they should not be made to feel uncomfortable themselves. Nursing in public is not like making out in public. Nursing is not optional when you have a hungry baby.
I am glad that Freedom Airlines acknowledged that women have a right to nurse on a plane — and without a blanket if that is what they choose. I also note that they mentioned in their letter that part of the problem is that modern airline travel does not allow for a great deal of privacy. I feel this is a big part of the issue. Some people are offended by being too near a nursing mother and being able to tell what she is doing. I am not saying that these people do not deserve to be respected, but there is literally no way to accomodate these people in such tight quarters short of telling women they cannot nurse on planes. In such cases we have to examine all sides and make the best decision about who has the greatest need. I believe that is what Freedom Airlines has done — and they now agree that mothers should be free to nurse on planes. So, I guess all those people who are uncomfortable being around nursing will have to do their best to make it work.
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November 16, 2006 at 10:13 pm by AnonymousIf Momsrising doesn’t support the rights of breastfeeding mamas, then I don’t belong here. For me, it’s that basic. How do you fight for all the wonderful things we all seem committed to if we can’t even support each other in one of the most basic female functions — to breastfeed a child.
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November 17, 2006 at 10:21 am by AnonymousEven as a breastfeeding mother, I don’t want to see that! Any more than I wanted to visualize the fat man eating crab in an earlier post, or spit up for that matter. I must be foodophobic. Keep it neat, please.
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Anonymous Reply:
November 16th, 2006 at 5:58 pm
I had my babies in 1962 and 1972. It was considered almost revolutionary, but I breast fed the first until his first birthday when he started to walk solo and weaned himself and I breastfed the next until she was 2 and a half, when she weaned herself. I did my breastfeeding where ever, once emptying out the ladies room at Saks Fifth Ave. but no one ever saw my breast. That really isn’t necessary. It can be covered with one’s own receiving blanket and without covering the baby’s head. I found it was the suckling sounds that freaked both men and women out. Nonetheless, Delta was wrong. If breast exposure warrants removal from an airplane or any other public place today’s American women should be being escorted out of everyplace, no? And why is every comment submitted here anon.???? Beryl Wright, Bklyn.N.Y>
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That was not my experience on Delta. I took my daughter on a Delta flight a few years ago, and it was the female flight attendant who continually gave me dirty looks as I nursed her under a blanket. The apology from Delta has been posted at the end here, and it does not mention that a passenger brought the nursing to anyone’s attention. Instead, it focuses on the fact that the flight attendant was young and inexperienced.
I looked at the MSNBC reaction to this story on the message boards. By and large people thought it was ridiculous for the woman to be thrown off the plane. It was encouraging to see that the men there are mostly in favor of moms being allowed to nurse on planes. Sadly, here at Mom’s Rising, many moms are anti-nursing and are making wild assumptions that this woman was acting inappropriately. Why are so many women so upset and threatened by breastfeeding? Sad!
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bgodwin Reply:
November 18th, 2006 at 8:06 am
If the woman showed no breast, I don’t see at all why people were disturbed. When I nurse my baby, I am very discrete. Most people think that my baby is sleeping in my arms. And even if some breast WAS showing…I say just look the other way!! If you’re uncomfortable at seeing something, just turn your attention somewhere else. I’m of the opinion that we’re of the animal kingdom…and it’s only natural to breastfeed!
betsyg
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If everyone is stressed and tired then why not let the mother breastfeed her hungry child from her perhaps engorged breasts? Why should she be the one to sacrifice her comfort level when all the rest of the passengers have to do is stay in their seats and read their books?
Erin Riley, Los Angeles, CA
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November 17, 2006 at 2:44 pm by AnonymousHow about the posts where someone says that belching is natural too, but we use manners and don’t do it in public? Then someone went on to say “Sorry, but breastmilk is the same as ‘poop.’” How about the post where someone says she does not want to see women’s nipples? As if you can ever see anyone’s nipples when they are nursing. How about the post where someone accuses the woman who was removed from the plane of “flopping it out like Ma Kettle?” These all seem pretty antagonistic towards breastfeeding to me! They portray breastfeeding mothers as gross, uneducated slobs who perform an inappropriate, distasteful bodily function.
I don’t think people are debating about covering. That works for some people and does not work for others. I think it’s great if you can cover. If you can’t,it does not make you Ma Kettle or mean that your kid is going to have “big problems” in the future.
Just because your bottle fed baby is smart and your breastfed babies are picky and one was colicky, that does not make bottle feeding superior.
Yes, people should do what works for them. What works for me is breastfeeding my kids. If bottle feeding worked for you, great! But no one called you Ma Kettle when you “whipped out” your bottle or tried to shame you that you were doing something like belching or pooping that should be done in the bathroom when you bottle fed your baby.
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November 17, 2006 at 3:02 pm by AnonymousThank you so much for clarifying for all in such an eloquent manner. Everything you said is true. I think oftentimes we are so afraid as parents that we will desperately grab onto and adhere strictly to a methodology, theory, idea in order to comfort ourselves.
Yes, breastfeeding is good. But yes, your child will survive – and thrive – being bottle fed. Sorry, but it’s true. SO, make your own choice and worry about your own family. I heard once that there were three types of business: yours, mine, and Gods. Mind your own business and allow others the freedom to make their own choices (and by that, their own mistakes).
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November 17, 2006 at 3:54 pm by AnonymousNo, not one post has said that women should not be allowed to breastfeed. I had never considered that anyone would think for one second that women “wouldn’t be allowed to breastfeed.” Is there somewhere that has ever happened? But being “allowed” to breastfeed and being supported and accepted in breastfeeding are two different things. The writers of those posts clearly think that breastfeeding is distasteful. Even you have to admit that the talk of “flopping, belching, poop” and the concern about “seeing nipples” portrays breasfeeding in a very negative light. Some people think it should only be done in private, and others feel it is only OK if it is done in a certain way — under a blanket or in a way that no one can tell what is happening. It’s great that I’m “allowed” to breastfeed. I would also like to not be shamed for doing so. I would prefer not to be compared to Ma Kettle or told that what I’m doing is equivalent to belching at the table.
I don’t think bottle feeding was ever part of the original discussion. That is because mothers have the right to bottle feed their babies whenever and wherever they choose without anyone even considering that they might not be “allowed” to do so. If that woman had been feeding her baby with a bottle, the flight attendant would not have booted her off the plane.
While breastmilk may not raise IQs as previously thought, it does confer many health benefits. I had a colicky baby who was a breastfeeder too. At least the nursing always calmed her down, and I was glad to have that tool at my disposal. My other one was super easy, and probably would have been just that easy on a bottle. But these are just antectdotes and prove nothing. Research does show that breastmilk is better for babies. But I saw no one here saying that women “should not be allowed” to bottle feed. The issue here is not that we should all do what works for us. That’s really a given, isn’t it? The issue is that some of us are not supported in doing what works for us in certain places — like airplanes.
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November 17, 2006 at 6:28 pm by spielbeewhen it comes to personal attacks. I didn’t think she twisted your words that badly but it’s obvious that this is a super hot topic. I believe we are genuinely discussing our right to breastfeed our babies. Demanding I cover my baby and boob while breastfeeding would definitely impinge on my ability to breastfeed.
Erin Riley, Los Angeles, CA
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November 19, 2006 at 8:51 pm by spielbeeWe do need to think for ourselves, set our own agenda and follow our hearts, not societal pressures. As moms, it’s what we have to do everyday. The world will be a better place for it.
Erin Riley, Los Angeles, CA
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November 19, 2006 at 9:57 pm by AnonymousCheck your own facts, and check your bias at the door. The AAP is notably out of step with the world on this one (too much in hock to the formula companies).
From the WHO website, not a secondary source:
A recent review of evidence has shown that, on a population basis, exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months is the optimal way of feeding infants. Thereafter infants should receive complementary foods with continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond.
quoted from this page: http://www.who.int/child-adolescent-health/NUTRITION/infant_exclusive.htm
This is tiring, but necessary (this discussion, not the breastfeeding, that is).
Sam Pearson
Central PA
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November 19, 2006 at 10:02 pm by AnonymousSorry forgot the follow up. So 2 years doesn’t just mean drop it at 2 years. There are many less mixed-up cultures which promote it through 4 years of age, depending on the adequacy and ease of edibility of the local diet. It could be argued that the typical American diet is dangerous enough to indicated a need for maximum nursing.
I didn’t start extreme, but I’m certainly ending up there. If you want fewer extremists, stop pushing so hard.
SP
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July 13, 2007 at 12:37 am by AnonymousI found all of the comments interesting… some a bit dramatic actually. Talking about dirty blankets and eating lunch under the covers… has everyone lost their mind? This child is practically two years old! Quite able to drink from a sippie cup containing mother’s milk. But, that really isn’t the issue here. The issue was to cover the feeding event itself. A blanket drappred from mom’s shoulder across the child’s body ( or not even touching the child, but as a tent effect) would have proven to be effective and not hinder the child’s feeding at all. Once that child releases from the breast, its exposed… and who’s to say the child wouldn’t be fussy or take a break during his/her feeding? As someone pointed out in the comments below, there are many natural functions of the human body, but you wouldn’t use the bathroom, or change your clothing, or purposely burp out loud even. Burping is all natural and everyone does it, but our society finds it rude to burp/belch out loud in public. So how I ask, can anyone with common sense find it appropriate to possibly expose a breast that a toddler is eating from, and not have issue with it? So now, the family is pressing charges or fighting the decision that they brought upon themselves… they will probably win money, and plane ticket prices will continue to climb, as with all silly non-essential law suits that are occuring everyday. There are bigger things going on in this world folks… quit making issues of things that are frivolous.
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