Comments on: Pick One…

By: Janna Waldher

Janna Waldher — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 01:07:32 +0000

Love the responses and feed back from everyone! You all stated such valued points with personal understanding and background! I think that key is having options that are flexible!!! I believe that in time we will see more options appear and I believe that we will see more employers being responsible for their employees

One step at a time, never giving up and always looking forward!

By: Peggy Emery

Peggy Emery — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 08:36:06 +0000

When my children were young I did not expect the government to pay for their childcare or their medical. We made the sacrifices we needed so I could stay home. I have a degree in Education, but I wanted to raise my own children and did not expect the government to pay me to raise them. We lived on one income. When you live off the government and take governments hand outs it is called welfare. It is bad for our nation and bad for our families. Make the sacrifice without whining about it when you have children.

By: Heather Fairfield

Heather Fairfield — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 18:41:27 +0000

I think I’d be most interested in a combination of #1 and #2 above. I learned during a period where I was laid-off that I cannot be truly happy at home 24/7, but I still want the flexibility to care for my child. Perhaps a situation where you are able (job permitting) to work from home with a stipend of some kind??

The alternative is bleak.

When my daughter was born, her father and I were forced to work opposite shifts, because we couldn’t afford child care. He worked from 11pm until 7am, and I worked from 8am to 5pm. As soon as I got home from work, he would go straight to sleep and I was frequently late to work if he had any delay whatsoever in getting home in the mornings. He also worked a second job that ate up a lot of our weekend time together. (The second job was necessary due to the insane amount of child support – almost 1/3 of his take-home pay – that he has to pay his ex-wife for their daughter.) When he wasn’t at work, he was usually sleeping and trying to recover from a 60 to 80 hour work week.

While this arrangement provided for our daughters, it severely damaged our relationship, because most of the time we were like two ships passing. The schedule that we were forced to keep allowed us to spend no more than 15 to 20 minutes a day together during the week, and only a few hours together on the weekends.

Thankfully, he eventually switched to a day-shift (though he still works nights a few days of the week) that allows us more time together. If he had not been able to do this, and we hadn’t been able to scrape the money together for relationship counseling, our relationship and our family would have fallen apart.

It doesn’t help that our daughter has medical issues that require close monitoring. I am very lucky to have an understanding boss, who works hard with me on days I need to take time off to care for her, but what about all the other women who aren’t so lucky? What about all the women and their mates who end up working opposite shifts and lose their relationship because of it? I got LUCKY, but I’m well aware of what the consequences would have been if I hadn’t been so fortunate.

By: Katherine

Katherine — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:08:24 +0000

Not being a parent, it is difficult to predict what my feelings would be. However, I’ve thought about a variation on the nanny theme. I wouldn’t want to stop working, but the type of work I do would potentially allow me to work from home or open up an office there, which in turn would allow me to be near my children if they need me or for quick bonding time. The nanny could make sure they stayed safe & out of trouble while I work, and I’d still send him/her home at the end of the work day so I could step into full-time parenting. Although I might them around a little bit longer every now & then for date night w/ the hubby.

By: Donna

Donna — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 13:21:28 +0000

I think multiple options are great but I think a stipened for caring for our very young children would be key to improving the lives of our children and families.

I feel the work of parenting is miserably under-valued in our country, and that financial recognition of the value parents add to the economy and society in general would go a long way toward increasing the “prestige” level of the job. I think then even more parents would think of the work of parenting a valid, important work worthy of their full-time talents and not drudgery or a sacrifice of their own dreams. Some people are fine parents but aren’t cut out for stay at home parenting. I think many more, maybe even most, would love the job if it were valued more.

By: Elsie

Elsie — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 04:50:56 +0000

Definitely the first option until my kids are school age! Then private child-care if I couldn’t work my schedule around theirs.

In the longview, the first few years are so short, but their impact is long-lasting.

Sadly, I don’t think this is on the agenda for our leaders. They can barely deal with health care and that is an emergency!

Unfortunately, for now, we have to deal with making the best of a set of poor choices:(

By: Anita

Anita — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:46:49 +0000

@Annie – flexibility is so key! Thanks for sharing your blog link.

By: Annie @ PhD in Parenting

Annie @ PhD in Parenting — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 14:33:52 +0000

I would opt for finding a solution that allows me to continue working while also caring for my family. I love my kids, but got quickly bored of being a full-time mom. I understand the value of them having parents around when they are little, and I understand the value of having the money to pay for a decent education for them. So for me, ideally, I would like to not have to choose between (a) being a stay-at-home mom and (b) being a full-time 9-to-5 Monday to Friday workhorse.

I wrote a bit about the type of system I would like to see on my blog a while back:

http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/08/08/flexible-maternity-leave-parental-leave/

By: flygyrl72

flygyrl72 — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:16:22 +0000

I agree. I’d also like to stay home & receive a stipend. I wish! I’m a single mom, & will be returning to work the second week of April. Am going to meet with a couple of daycare centers in my area tomorrow afternoon. I am already having anxiety attacks from the thought of leaving my little Sage with anyone else. But you have to do what you have to do. She’ll be almost 4 months by then…sigh…