147 Comments

March 19, 2008 at 1:57 pm by Anonymous

She was not asking for special treatment, she was asking to protect her unborn child by not exposing him or her to dangerous radioactive substances. I fail to see how this could be construed as wanting special treament. It seems to me that she was more than willing to continue working in the lab, working at the same level of dedication and the same number of hours. I also saw nothing to indicate that she was unwilling to resume activities with more dangerous substances once her child was born. If she had developed say breast cancer and told her mentor that she would be unable to continue work in the more dangerous areas of the lab until it went into remission there would have been no problem. The way I see it, she was penalized simply because she happened to be a prospective mother. I find it sad that so much talent is wasted in this country becuase employers are so shortsighted and cannot see past a pregnant belly to the fine mind that is not lost with approaching motherhood.

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February 29, 2008 at 9:52 pm by Anonymous

I found this on another page of momsrising:
Shelley J. Correll, Stephen Benard, and In Paik of Cornell University in a study published in March [2007 presumably] in the American Journal of Sociology entitled: “Getting a Job: Is There a Motherhood Penalty?”

Don’t have volume number but this should be enough.

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March 8, 2008 at 8:04 pm by Anonymous

I think when she said she was the breadwinner she meant that she took in the majority of the household income. However, even if the husband is not a stay-at-home parent already, I think it might be an option worth exploring. Especially if he makes less, or has a position where he could find work part-time, freelance, or in his own business.

Remember he too is qualified for FMLA, not just you. When we had our first child, my husband had a longer PAID PAternity leave from his company (Intel) than I had UNpaid from my company. He used paternity leave and I used short-term disability and saved vacation, we took turns instead of taking it both at once and between the two of us we had an at-home parent for six months.

After that we worked opposite shifts whenever possible, hiring a local young military wife from the classifieds for the day our schedules overlapped.

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January 5, 2008 at 4:23 pm by Anonymous

A transgression? To transgress means to break a law or commandment, sin. Did she do that? Did she kill someone or commit a crime? You would think so with your response. What if a man had a medical condition in which he could not work with radioactive isotopes? Would he be told he was not “committed to science” for not risking his life? Perhaps her pregnancy was not planned or even if it was – where does her loyalty lie? In my view, having children is a normal part of life and not something anyone, male or female should be punished for doing. And who is this mythical researcher who is putting their growing family on hold for a “dream role” ? I say no one should be expected to put their family on hold for a “dream role” Because I have known many, many women who put their family life on hold because they first must have the graduate degree, then there is the internship or training program. Now they cannot just “get pregnant and turn the tables on them” so they put in a few more years. Now their dream job comes up. Guess what, now they find it is crunch time, now or never to have that family. Oftentimes they can’t become pregnant, because they waited and it is agonizing, heartbreaking, and truly demoralizing. Women should not be punished for wanting what 98% of everyone on this planet wants and has – a family.

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January 5, 2008 at 12:31 pm by Anonymous

10 years ago, while working as a veterinary sales rep, I gave birth to my first child. I had delivery complications that turned into needing surgery. My doctor documented that I needed to be out on disability until the surgery could be done and while I recovered. However, while I was out, I was told by coworkers that my boss was telling everyone in the office, “All she did was have a baby–I don’t see what could still be wrong with her,” and leading everyone to believe that it was me, not my doctor, saying I couldn’t work. A week after my surgery, my boss called and told me that if I wasn’t back in the next week, I’d have no job (my doctor had put me on disability for 4 weeks). I called my lawyer, who said he hoped my boss would fire me for being on disability, as it would be, “the easiest case I’ve ever had”! I later found out that another coworker who’d had a child a few months before had been given the same ultimatum while on maternity leave, and was forced to start making sales calls only 3 weeks after delivery. I didn’t return to work when my boss said I had to, but when my disability was over. I had the satisfaction that when I told my boss’s supervisor of his actions, and that I had talked with my lawyer, they immediately had HR call me to try and smooth things over, and apparently gave my boss a hard time. But of course, it was made clear that I would never get ahead after that. I left after a few months, and had several female colleagues come up to me privately and tell me that if I ever decided to pursue something legally, they would back me up with their own stories. Interestingly enough, another employee (male) was out on disability for a hernia much longer than I was–he got a cake and a party when he returned! It obviously was never about the “lost productivity” or the “difficulty for the branch”–it was all about the fact that my disability was a “mommy problem.”

I’ve had a wonderful time being home with my children, and thank God that my family is able to have that choice. But I worry about what I’ll face when I re-enter the workforce, and I’m furious on behalf of all those women who have to jump through hoops to support their families, and face this kind of treatment every day.

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January 5, 2008 at 12:27 pm by Rebekah

When I got pregnant at the age of 17, I was working in a restaurant — with my soon-to-be-husband. The pregnancy was unplanned, and I knew that I did not want to work in such a labor-intensive environment in my last months of pregnancy. So I thought I would get out of the restaurant in the early months — and try to find some less-demanding work.

I have a strong work ethic instilled in me from my upbringing, and with my husband working as a low-paid line cook, I had the full intention to be working soon after I had the baby. It seemed unethical and crazy to me to apply for a job somewhere without telling them I was pregnant, knowing that I would be showing in a matter of weeks. Unfortunately, when I went around on interviews, NO ONE would consider hiring me.

So, I ended up jobless in months I could have been working, saving money for the baby.

In the future, I tried to apply for jobs, requesting a bit of scheduling flexibility, but those jobs never went past a first interview. I learned never to tell a prospective employer that I have a child, because I have found they automatically become concerned about my availability and dependability. It is none of their business.

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January 5, 2008 at 12:15 pm by Randi Anderson

Thank-you for validating what I have been feeling!

I have been beating myself up for months now. I recently completed my Masters, started and developed a successful nonprofit over the last 2 years, and had an amazing internship (all while being the sole parent of an active toddler). I am now attempting to get hired for a ‘livable’ position. I have sent out resumes for positions in which I fully qualify, but am not even getting interviews. I have been rejected for positions without as much as a phone call- letters to add to my rejection letter pile. THEN, I have seen the positions re-advertized! (This has happened more than once.)

I’m going to revamp my resume- removing “Single 2 Mother”, the one thing that I am most proud (other than my son). I do believe that having “Single Mother” written across my resume has worked against me. During a time that I should be feeling proud, I am feeling destroyed, angry, and depressed….

I can not help but feel that this “Maternal Profiling” is ABSOLUTELY true.

Thank-you!
Randi Anderson
Single 2 Mother
http://www.single2mother.org

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January 5, 2008 at 11:52 am by Anonymous

I was one of the women who, in the heady optimism of the Women’s Movement, believed I could have it all. I had completed a PhD in biology, was married, had an 18-month old son, and was headed off to the post-doctoral research position of my dreams at a major university on the West Coast. Unfortunately, “having it all” was not to be the case. During my second year of research at that university, I became pregnant with my second child, and informed my research mentor that I would be switching from experiments involving exposure to high levels of radioactive isotopes, to other , safer experiments not involving radioactivity. I would have thought that my research mentor, a biologist well versed in the risks of exposure to radioactivity during pregnancy, would have accepted this decision without question. HE proceed to let me know that I was clearly “not a serious scientist”, and in addition, when I sought to continue with additional years of research in the same lab, it was made clear that there was no room for me in his lab because I had not demonstrated total commitment to science My crimes: a) I was a mother of TWO children, and b) I refused to work with highly radioactive isotopes during pregnancy.

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January 5, 2008 at 11:47 am by Anonymous

Last year I had two job interviews, and made the mistake of announcing my pregnancy before the interviews. The first place gave a lot of lip service to being a family-friendly environment, but during the interview I was told that my interviewing while pregnant was “very bold”, and I was later told that, although they thought I was a great candidates, they wanted someone who would have an “easier transition” than I would have. The second place did not seem to mind my pregnancy, but did mind the fact that I was married. I was their first choice for the position, but they were not sure if my husband would be able to find a job in the area, so they offered the job to someone else who was already settled in the area.

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January 5, 2008 at 11:43 am by Anonymous

Those “best companies” for working moms ratings are baloney. I have found that this rating usually applies to women who are already in management positions; however, the receptionists, administrative assistants or accounts payable clerks don’t get the same type of benefits. I, too, have worked for these so-called “mom-friendly” companies and I have yet to see the benefits available for execs offered to regular staff. I think it’s completely disgusting that such disparity exists. Working moms–at all levels–should receive the same benefits!

For anyone reading this, please also beware of receptionists, office managers, admins, etc. who try to chat you up before your interview. I had an experience with an office manager who came out to apologize that my interviewer was running late. Then she started making small talk about commuting to the office, and how it can be so difficult to juggle getting kids to school, etc. and then said “well, you know how it is…”, attempting to open up a conversation about my own situation. I could tell what she was up to so I simply replied, “Gosh, I can imagine how hard that must be for you.” I guess she got the message because she changed the subject. I was hired, but found out later this was part of their strategy: since people are primed for “interview questions,” they would have the receptionist or office manager engage the candidate in seemingly innocent chit-chat (which, of course, gets reported back to the interviewer). Stay on your toes, ladies!

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February 14, 2008 at 3:34 pm by JaneV

Reading through these comments and other recent articles in my newspaper makes me realize that our entire “American” society needs an attitude adjustment. With so many families needing both parents to work in order to afford even a modest home (on top of expenses like health insurance, student loans, etc.) companies need to accept that their employees have lives and families outside the office and not punish (or refuse to hire) them if they want to be home by 6:00 p.m. in order to have a family dinner and use their weekends to spend time with their kids. Why does our government support a society where strangers (if anyone) is raising the kids because the parents have to work long hours in order to provide basic needs? I’m tired of trying to justify my desire to “only” work 40-45 hours a week to prospective employers because I’d like to see my kids more than just one day a week. At the same time, I want to get paid a decent wage in order to help pay for basic needs because my husband isn’t making six figures.

I have no regrets in my decision to have kids, or my choice of husband (despite his modest income). I do regret my career choice and wish someone had told me in college that my career interest meant that I’d have to choose between a family and being employed. Of course, I have no idea how we would even have afforded our modest home but for my income before I had kids.

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January 10, 2008 at 3:51 pm by Sympathetic Mom

Hello All,

As I read your stories, I am somewhat disgusted but not surprised at the lack of support for working parents in all types of environments. In my opinion, this type of discrimination will not stop, as with racisim, genderism and any other type of “isms” until we have legislation in place to severely punish employers for changing performance standards or employing illegal hiring practices for working parents.

Furthermore, on a more positive note, we need to make our society, not only the parents, committed to raising children. It is not only the responsibility of the family to take care of children but that of the entire “village”, including employers and co-workers.

Our current president and other politicians often talk about ‘the family’ being the fabric of our society. Yet, we are not protected under the law or under ‘social’ courtesy when we prioritize our family over work commitments.

In my past experience, co-workers and employers alike (parents and non-parents) would play lip service to “supporting our co-workers” who have family. Behind your back, some co-workers will take the opportunity to use your family status as a way to explain your lack of committment or inability to perform on a job. I find this to be especially true in higher level positions where it is not simply whether you are in the office at 8:00 am or not. Complaints such as: “she is not a team player because she does not attend team dinners” or “she has emergencies all the time because of her children” or “she is not always on her blackberry because she is dealing with her children — on the weekends!”.

I welcome any ideas on how we can end this type of discrimination. I think we collectively have enough evidence.

Thanks in advance for your response

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January 5, 2008 at 12:48 pm by Anonymous

I am a physician, and was interviewing this year for a contract job with specific, somwhat unusual, qualifications, all of which I fit very well. The job required some travel. During the hiring process, the recruiter told me that the agency had concerns because I have a small child, and they worried that unpredictable travel might cause problems for my family in terms of childcare arrangements, etc. He revealed that the had a less qualified single male candidate they were considering for this reason, despite the fact that this candidate had already expressed that he was uncomfortable with some of the job requirements because of his inexperience in those areas. I told the recruiter I was offended and angered that these issues were coming up, and that I suspected his questions about my family situation were illegal. (I have since learned that apparently they were not!) I told him I was fully aware of the job description and logistical issues that might come up, and had of course taken our childcare needs into account. In the end they hired me anyway, but it certainly left me with a bad taste.

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January 5, 2008 at 1:02 pm by Anonymous

I formerly worked for a large corporation that is often lauded for its mother, father, and family friendly policies. When I was 5 months pregnant with my only child I was placed on bed rest. My cervix was opening prematurely. My OBGYN filled out all of the paper work that my company requested. Despite this my direct manager (a man) called the clinic and spoke to my OB and a nurse working at the clinic about my pregnancy. This was my first position with a company out of college. It was my doctor who informed me that my manager’s behavior was inappropriate and that I should contact my company’s HR department. I ignored my doctor’s advice. This manger was promoted within 6 months of this incident.

When my son was 5 months old he was admitted to Children’s Hospital in Minneapolis with spinal meningitis. My husband and I were terrified for days as we waited for the doctors to tell us whether our son would survive, and if so, suffer brain damage. Luckily, our son had viral, not bacterial, meningitis. He was hospitalized for over a week, but suffered no permanent damage. When I returned to work after this ordeal my new manager (a woman) requested a meeting with me. She told me during our meeting that it’s impossible to be a good mother and a good employee. She went on to explain that women must decide to be mediocre at both or good at one or the other. She asked me if it was possible for my husband to support us as a family given my son’s recent health issues. She said all of this in a manner of friendliness and confidentiality. It was not possible for my family to survive on one income, so I continued to work for this company. When my son was nearly two I was passed up on a promotion to manager. A younger, single man that I had trained in on our team received the promotion. I had always received positive customer feedback and peer reviews. Many of my colleagues, including a member of the committee involved in deciding who would be manager, expressed surprise that I was passed over for the promotion. I later decided to leave this company to return to school and pursue a career in an entirely new field. I never reported either manager to the HR department.

Not reporting these incidences to HR was a failing on my part. I failed myself and the other women working for this company. Every mother has a right to work. Every mother has the right to try to be a good mother and a good employee. During this election year I have heard many politicians discuss the importance of healthy families in this country. We need to demand that the politicians and corporations back their rhetoric with policies that truly support working mothers, fathers, and their families!

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January 5, 2008 at 1:20 pm by Anonymous

Maternal profiling is sexism. What we feminists have been trying to get your Mother’s next generation to acknowlede. It’s too late for you. What you do now may make a difference for your children. Demanding does noting. Politicians are elected. BY YOU. You have to run against them and get elected yourself. Otherwise all we will continue to get is rhetoric. You have to be in a position to make change by having a vote in legislatures. That is where the real power is. The real power of the vote.

No one in this country has a right to work. This is not sexism.

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January 5, 2008 at 1:19 pm by Anonymous

I am a childless married woman in my late 30s who works as a scientist in the biotech industry in Seattle. In the past year I was looking for a job. I sent my resume to a small startup biotech, and got an e-mail from the company founder, a young businessman. He said that he didn’t have a position open at the moment, but wanted to have a discussion over coffee to talk about science. At his office, we discussed science for a while, and I eventually noticed that he was distracted by something on his computer monitor. He then said “Oh, I’m sorry, I get so distracted when I see this picture,” and he turned around his monitor to show me a photo of two young children, which he told me were his. I remarked that they were cute. He then proceeded to ask “Do you have children?” I told him I didn’t. The very next question was “Do you plan to have children?” I laughed and said “Who knows!” Of course, these weren’t illegal interview questions, because this was not an interview, as he had been careful to specify before we met! When I left, he told me he would be in touch, but I never heard from him again. Irritated by this experience, I did some searching on the web and found many similar stories from women looking for jobs. The idea behind showing a female candidate a photo of children is to get them gushing about children and to mention that they have their own. Another thing that the guy did, mention that he was big on work-life balance, is sometimes used to elicit enthusiasm about that concept, and, again, get a female candidate to confess that she has children. One blog even mentioned to not let an interviewer walk you to your car, because the interviewer might check it for evidence of children (car seats, toys, etc.). This type of discrimination, maternal profiling, is alive and well!

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January 5, 2008 at 1:20 pm by Anonymous

When I graduated with my Masters in Social Work, I was a little over three months pregnant with my first child. I was interviewing with various social work agencies without disclosing my pregnancy, as I was not showing. I felt uncomfortable about this, as I wanted to be honest with prospective employers, but also wanted to receive a fair chance at the job. One of the agencies offered me a full-time position working with homeless, mentally ill adults. Before accepting the offer, however, I disclosed my pregnancy–I wanted to be honest with my new employer. The next day, the HR department (who I had never spoken with before) called to rescind my employment offer. I never reported the agency, simply because I didn’t want those they served to experience the ramifications of my action, if there were any.

Later, I interviewed with another, highly respected agency for a part-time position. After two very involved, lengthy interviews I was told that I was being considered for the position along with one other candidate. They kept pressing me as to why I wanted a part-time position, saying they wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to leave them for a full-time job at a later date. I then disclosed my pregnancy, citing that having a child was my reason for wanting to work part-time, so they didn’t have to worry about me going anywhere. I never heard from them again.

After both of my experiences, I became very disheartened. Of all professions, social work definitely should be one that is family friendly, but that is not what I experienced. I took a temporary job that I could do from home which was unrelated to my field and which did not make me happy. My child is now one year old and I have not worked professionally since he was born.

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January 5, 2008 at 2:10 pm by Anonymous

The world of academic science is particularly harsh, I think. I have a Ph.D. in molecular cell biology, and was once a postdoctoral researcher in an academic lab. After I returned from maternity leave with my first child, my postdoctoral supervisor told me that he’d only extend my contract for another year, and then I’d have to find a new job. Well, research funding is scarce, and he’d just lost a big research grant; it sounded fair enough, even if it was a bummer. Interestingly, the other postdoc to be laid off that year was also a new mother.

Before I left that job, I asked my supervisor for a meeting so that we could frankly discuss my career prospects. The first thing he said to me when I walked in for that meeting was: “Well, do you plan on having any more children?” When I replied in the affirmative, he literally threw his hands up in the air and exclaimed, “Then what’s the POINT??!!” He then lectured me for while about how it’s just too difficult to have a family and also succeed in academia. It is difficult, yes… But I also know that he would never have given that lecture to any of the _fathers_ working in the lab.

My best friend earned her Ph.D. in genetics and left research science for business. She claims business is actually much more conducive to families. She still has contacts in academia, and she told me she had one recent business meeting with a respected department chair of a biology department who laughingly told her that his favorite type of postdoctoral research employee is a married male. His second favorite type is a lesbian. I assume he favors lesbians because he thinks they won’t have children (A pretty stupid assumption, by the way).

After 10+ years of training, I am not currently working in my field.

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January 14, 2008 at 2:06 pm by Tammy

On NPR this morning, I heard Senator Clinton’s comments that Lyndon Johnson, as president, played a crucial role in getting the Civil Rights Act passed, and that he was an important partner with MLK, Jr. I then of course heard the subsequent attack on her comments, particularly from Edwards, accusing her of not giving MLK his due.

This got me thinking about Senator Clinton’s underlying message, and I believe that women, especially, need to listen carefully. Could Clinton be trying to tell us subtly, without garnering more negative attention from the extreme right, that she would be a president who will forward an agenda friendly to families? Could she be implying her support for a revival of the Equal Rights Amendment – the women’s movement’s equivalent of the Civil Rights Act? Would she counter the recent decision by the Supreme Court all be decimating the Equal Pay Act and legalizing paying women less than men for the same job? Would she promote health care for all, adequate paid maternity/paternity leave, affordable quality childcare, and TV commercials that aren’t allowed to hard sell a 4-year-old? Might these things be important to her and issues that she would address as president? She was a mother working in a male field when her daughter was young. Might she be the candidate that will understand my life more than any other candidate and at least open a real dialogue on these issues, even if she cannot resolve them in her time in office? Is it possible that my daughter and son won’t be faced with the same struggles when they become parents that their father and I face?

In short, I believe that the the answers to these questions might very well be a resounding “yes.” Although I am disappointed that her intentions are not clearer, I also believe that it might be political suicide for her to be clearer. I acknowledge I could be wrong in my attributions to her political agenda, but I have reason to believe that she will represent women and families better than any other candidate. Clinton has my vote. And I hope she has the vote of every other woman who has found herself under- or unemployed after the birth of children, who has seen those $0 on their social security statements after taking time off to raise children upon being confronted by a workplace hostile to caregiving responsiblities, or who has discovered that caring for children does not qualify as “work” when she is forced to apply for welfare. I hope she has the vote of every man who barely sees his children for the majority of the week because of the unwritten face time rules for professionals, or who has been docked pay or fired for having child care responsibilities that interfered with expectations of employers. I hope she has the vote of every caregiver: parents, teachers, daycare providers, nurses, social workers, etc. And I hope Clinton will be able to find her own voice and stand up for her beliefs upon assuming the presidency.

And let’s patiently explain to Edwards that Clinton is not taking anything away from MLK but rather discussing the importance of the presidency. Let’s tell him that he’s missing the point, or worse, manipulating the public perception. And since we already have a president well versed in missing the point and manipulating the public perception . . . .

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January 5, 2008 at 4:19 pm by Anonymous

How about when you interview for a job that requires travel, which you are certainly willing to do or else you wouldn’t have applied for the job, and you are told that they like you lots but … “you have a one year old at home, are you sure you’d want to travel?”

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January 6, 2008 at 3:50 am by Anonymous

When I go to job interviews, I NEVER mention my parental status, and it’s illegal for employers to ask! If employers don’t know if you’re a parent or not, how can they “profile” you?

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January 5, 2008 at 4:29 pm by Anonymous

I was a recent target for maternal profiling myself – and lost my job because of it. Despite a stellar, A+ performance record, the most tenure and experience within my department, and an investment of working 45-60 hours per week throughout my employment with the company, I was recently let go when I was pregnant with my second child.

Four days before my termination, and while I was six months pregnant, the CEO asked me to ‘stop procreating’ at a conference where I worked a grueling 56 hours on my feet. (I was not even on the company’s health plan, nor was my maternity leave going to cost the company money outright).

A few months prior the same male CEO told me I was ‘dying on the vine’ and ‘mommy-tracked’ following a very successful and time-consuming acquisition I had spearheaded. I couldn’t believe it. He had always had a ton of respect for my work and we had enjoyed an enviable working relationship, but now that I was a mother, it totally changed his perception of my ability to do my job, my commitment to the company and my intelligence.

The company/HR line was that they were ‘down-sizing’, even though I had just helped hire four people in the department – and was clearly more experienced and qualified than any of the candidates.

I am proud and saddened to say that I didn’t sign the severance papers and that additional action has been taken. When will companies learn that working moms are almost always extremely efficient, dedicated and eager employees? In my particular instance, it seems that motherhood was extremely threatening in a male dominated industry and to the ‘boys network’ way of doing business. Only attractive, single females need apply – or stay.

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January 5, 2008 at 4:41 pm by Jane Eiseley

I have a problem with this concept if it means that employers should ignore the fact that women have babies. What we need is childcare, healthcare, maternity leave. That is why employers are chary. We should fight for a world that is designed for the needs and desires of all women, not one that insists that they (or some of them) are men.

Jane Eiseley, aged 73, mother of 3, been there, done that

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January 5, 2008 at 4:58 pm by Anonymous

I am an attorney and formerly worked for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, the federal agency which enforces federal civil rights laws intended to protect employees from discrimination on the basis of sex (as well as race, national origin, religion). I am glad that Momsrising.org is working to raise awareness about a prevalent problem in our workplace –discrimination against mothers (and fathers to a growing extent). First, I want to say that it is generally very difficult to prove discrimination cases as employers don’t usually tell you why they have not hired you or passed you over for promotion; or, if they do tell you, they most likely wouldn’t say because you are a woman or because you have children. This leaves only circumstantial evidence to prove that you have been discriminated against, and since this kind of evidence often lends itself to possibly more than one interpretation, you have an uphill battle to make a discrimiantion claim. I would still strongly encourage anyone who believes that they have been discriminated against on the basis of sex, and women who are doing the hiring or making the promotion decision are just as liable, to file a charge with their local EEOC office or, where it exists, the State agency which enforces anti-discrimination laws. You should do so soon after the adverse employment action as you usually only have 180 days in some states or 360 days in other states to file a charge with the EEOC.
Presently, I am teaching, starting my own legal practice (in employment law) and raising two young children with my spouse. I know what it feels like to apply for a job and feel “scared” to bring up anything which may lead to a question about your children. It shouldn’t be this way and the culture needs to change. I applaud Momsrising.org for what it’s doing to improve the workplace for women (and men) who are raising families.

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January 5, 2008 at 6:24 pm by Sheila Malone

As a nurse I worked as a Director of Staff Development , as
part of my job I was responsible to interview and hire all of the nursing staff for the facility. When I was first hired I was sent to the corporate offices to be “trained” in the company policies. My corporate consulant was a woman (who was also a nurse) who told me I was to follow the California laws which prohibited me from asking personal questions regarding childcare arrangements or possible marriage plans as this was maternal profiling. However I was instructed to “get chummy” and talk one mother to another. I was informed in no uncertain terms single mothers with kids were a liability and that the cost to hire and train a CNA was far to much to waste on someone who would call in every time their kid had a problem. I was also told not to hire unmarried woman as licensed nurses, because as soon as they found a man they would quit. They were looking at the bottom line and not seeing individuals. As a single parent I refused to profile in my interviews and found when I worked with mothers, single or married, and treated them with the dignity and respect they deserved as people I never had a problem. I was “told” all my staff had to be available 24/7, regardless of their scheduled days and not to accept excuses about childcare not being available on their day off or in the middle of the night. Again I refused to threaten people with firing if they could not find childcare on their scheduled days off, in fact I would tell everyone I called when looking for extra staff they they did not have to explain to me why they were unable to come in on their day off. Needless to say the corporate staff were not happy with me but once the nursing staff knew I understood what it was like to work and raise kids the whole mood of the facility changed. When I was first hired the nursing staff was angry and unwilling to do any more then was absolutely necessary. After a few months staff became willing to come in and help when needed knowing they were appreciated and their livelihood was not being threatened because they were mothers who had to put their families welfare before the job. I remember turning down a good paying job once because I was told I would have to work a lot of evening shifts. When I stated I needed days since I had a 10 year old daughter and I needed to be home with her at night I was told by the Nursing Director “You can be a good nurse or you can be a good mother but you can’t be both.”

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January 5, 2008 at 6:24 pm by Lucy Smith

We need to read again Lysistrata. Instead of describing our mistreatment as mothers by our society, including both male and female in the “system” we need to put stress on a fact that should be obvious to anyone, mainly that the very existance of society, the continuation of our human specie, depends on mothers doing their job of giving birth and raising children. Our fight should go beyond economic and social needs. We have to fight for our right to be visible, and for stopping to treat our existance as something shameful that needs to be hidden. Our giving birth from our shameful birth canal that is usually hidden and well covered, our using our breasts for what they were created, to give milk to our babies, is considered shameful and in need of hidden places. Our small children are not welcome in most places and their existance also has to be hidden in special places. Yes, we need to have childcare, but if we fight for visibility of motherhood and childhood, then we can count on childcare in every shopping center, on sickcare for children of working mothers in every neighborhood, and in every newly constructed apartments blocks. Lets our breasts to be visible as well for their main use to feed children. That could help to desexualize us as sexual objects as well. Let’s us not any longer allow others to define our sexuality, our right to have or not have children and to divide our bodies into so many “sexy”parts. The whole of us needs to be visible. Proudly visible, because without us is end of humanity. That needs to be repeated many times over till it sinks in.

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January 5, 2008 at 7:00 pm by Anonymous

I am still shocked at the things employers can do and get away with and the lack of awareness from non-mothers. I worked at a prestigious law firm in San Diego and was promoted the same day I found out I was pregnant. What a day! I was traveling, working on high profile projects for my boss – the sky was the limit and my boss consulted me or had me involved in nearly all of his operations. I was his go-to person, on the phone with him, in his office morning, noon and night…Long story short, I had complications at the start of my pregnancy and felt it best to tell him a month into it because I thought I was going to be terminating the pregnancy and out sick or at doctor’s appointments for a few weeks. The day I fessed up to my “condition”, the whole world changed. I ended up getting bad advise from a doctor and my pregnancy was fine – but AFTER all was cleared up, I was taken off nearly every project I had been on and even leading, I was no longer allowed to travel anywhere, my boss stopped talking to me altogether (no even a hello during the day!) and suddenly “the company’s needs were changing”, as was my job role. HA! While my pay wasn’t affected, I was absolutely being demoted – I was now in charge of entering information into a database. From a Sr Financial Analyst handling high profile projects, reports/presentations and key management decisions to data entry. I just couldn’t take it and got so stressed out about going back, I searched for another job while on maternity leave…

My current company, to their credit, did hire me although I was a new mom, but I took a 10% pay cut in order to make it happen. After 9 mos with the company, we had some turnover and my manager was asked to apply for a higher position. He told me he and others were really impressed with my work and performance to date and would I be interested in assuming his old role? I said, absolutely – I want my old salary back and want to get back on the ladder! What happened blew my mind…My manager got promoted, I was slated to get his old work, and my male co-worker who barely shows up for a full day, was/is known around the office as having a bad attitude and barely doing 70% of his job got promoted with no change in job responsibilities (or even the expectation that he put in a full day’s work!)…I dug my heels in and ended up assuming a portion of my old manager’s responsibilities and the role of managing my new, inexperienced manager. I was told to help him out and that he was being elected my manager b/c I was an easy employee to manage and could help him assume his full potential. He, in fairness, did see that an injustice was committed and worked to bump me back to my previous salary, which I really appreciated.

But now we’ve had turnover again and my new manager has just been promoted to a role he can’t handle – against the wishes of our HR Director, our auditors…and guess what?! I was turned down for a promotion once again – it is clear to me that it’s b/c he needs a scape-goat – someone to help him out at this role he just doesn’t deserve and can’t handle on his own! A (female) VP in the company asked if I could assume additional responsibility going forward because of the great work I’ve done – the official reason is that it will devastate the current analyst. The official reason is actually b/c I’m not in the boys’ club.

It is such a travesty to the institute of family and our workforce that people continue to get away with such behavior. Intolerance and discrimination is not always an outright, blatant occurrence and as long as HR departments and the US gov’t continue to affirm such immoral, corrupt injustice, we will all suffer. It’s wreckless, thoughtless and inexusable. Before I became a mom, I would have been quick to look for holes in such a story as mine – something must not be represented accurately, etc. – but I had always been promoted, commended and considered an extremely valuable asset – I really didn’t see a horrible disparity between myself and my male co-workers….until now that I am a mother…

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January 5, 2008 at 7:46 pm by Alison Morea

About 18 years ago, I gave birth several weeks into a seven month labor strike. I went on disability instead of unemployment benefits since that was the appropriate category for me at that time.

After four weeks on disability I applied for unemployment benefits. When the benefit officer heard that I had just come off of maternity disability, I was required to bring in two notarized letters: one from my babysitter that she would be taking care of my infant and one from me promising to hire the babysitter and return to work if a job could be found for me.

Needless to say, NONE or my co-workers of either sex (although most are male since it’s a technical field) were required to submit notarized letters in order to collect unemployment.

I was surprised at the time. I’m even more surprised to hear that this kind of thing still goes on; haven’t we made any progress in almost a generation?

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January 6, 2008 at 4:57 pm by Anonymous

I am a 39 year old professional female who is married and has chosen not to have children, yet I have the potential to change my mind for a little while anyway. I find all of these comments interesting. However, if the definition of Maternal Profiling is, “Employment discrimination against a woman who has, or will have, children” doesn’t that include just about every working female? Shouldn’t the issue/focus be on female profiling in the workplace? We’ve called ourselves liberated since the 60′s yet have all, regardless of childbearing status, remained behind the ball in wages and benefits compared with males in the workplace.

There are forever going to be workplace injustices. That’s the political nature of the beast. I have been on the receiving end of staying late to cover for a mom who has to get her kids on the bus, worked short handed because a mom has a sick kid, worked extra holidays for “the people with families”, etc. It’s been pointed out to me, many times, by moms, that I shouldn’t mind because I don’t have the same obligations. These are choices we all make and the bus, sick child, etc. is not my problem, nor should it be. Is it fair? No. Am I going to kick and scream about it? No. I’m definitely am not going to tout my marital/childbearing status to advance my career. Did I mention I’m a nonsmoker and it really bums me out that the smokers get a few more minutes of breaktime because they have to have a cigarette? Another injustice.

It pains me to see yet another label, coin phrase, whatever. We should band together, not further divide and lose sight of the bigger issue.

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January 6, 2008 at 9:38 pm by Former Career Woman/Single Mom

I am a highly educated woman with a couple decades of experience in my field. As a top level project manager, I was clearing 6 figures. Yet the minute I informed my new boss I was pregnant I was completely marginalized and felt like I was on the side-lines. It made doing my job next to impossible as I was undermined and railroaded. Eventually, when my child was 9 months old I lost the job. Since then I have had an interview that was showing all the signs of success – follow up questions like “when would you be able to start” and body language inferring this was my job, requests for references, etc. (I’ve interviewed and hired enough staff to see the signs), but as soon as I made a comment about being so dedicated to my job that I didn’t even take a maternity leave, it was like the needle screeched across a record. All of a sudden he was making comments like, “well this job requires night community meetings and long hours” instead of asking me if those were something I could do he was pretty much backpedaling and summing up that I couldn’t based on the fact that I was a Mother. Needless to say, I never heard from him despite his obvious interest in my candidacy before my motherhood was revealed. So, it is real and not just a term dividing us as the first post said. It is just an overdue label to define the elephant in the room that previously didn’t have a name!

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January 5, 2008 at 8:37 pm by Anonymous

I have had the real pleasure of applying for a job with two women bosses. Not only was I not profiled, but one of the partners shared her story about how she took a lot of time off of work and started going back part-time. I was frank with them and told them that I wanted to work part-time, and we worked out an arrangement where I will go into the office two days a week and will work from home one day a week. Prior to this, I worked for a firm in which I telecommuted 100% of the time. I know that my story is not typical, and is probably the result of being in a department that is run by women, one of whom is a Mom, but I did want to say that in my personal experience, I have not felt that I have been overtly profiled.

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January 5, 2008 at 9:34 pm by Anonymous

Let me tell you, maternal profiling exists. I am Masters prepared and worked in healthcare for several years. Since I did not have children until “later in life,” I have seen both sides of the fence, so to speak.
A few examples:
-When I was single and childless, I had a female supervisor (who had been a single mother when she was younger) tell me she preferred to hire gay men or single women, since women with children “are always out for some reason or another.” This same female called me to return to my position four months ago. I now have a 2 year old. She told me I had to work a minimum of 9 to 11 hour days, and said “I don’t think this will work out due to you having a child.”
-I have been asked on job interviews if I have/will have children. I have also been asked if I am married. I realize it is technically against federal law to be asked questions about children, marital status, etc., but employers seem not to care.
-I asked for and was denied flex time in my last job, because my female boss (who has an adult son) felt I would stay at home and not be “as productive” as I could be at the office, since I would be at home with my son. I had a Blackberry and access to the corporate network at home. I quit to stay home with my son.

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January 5, 2008 at 10:27 pm by Melanie

California workman’s comp decided that I could be retrained to become a receptionist. Wow. Yeah. Was that supposed to make me happy? Being trained to do a job that I did in high school, with a 2/3 cut in pay with no benes. No thank you. They wouldn’t train me in real estate, which I really wanted, mid 90′s, but they said they couldn’t guarantee my pay. So I thought, Locksmithing. A locksmith is always needed everywhere, and I’d actually be learning a new skill. Well I did well, passed my exams and received my license. Now was the sticky part. The locksmithing school sent out my “informational form” out as my resume. When I filled that our they said it was for their in house stats. So, this San Diego locksmithing school sent out via fax (isn’t that professional) to every single locksmithing company withing county limits that, “I’ve been married for just a year.” “I love the color purple.” “I enjoy mysteries and traveling.” Boy, you can believe they were knocking down my door for an interview. Not one. When I phoned on my own, 8 of the 10 I phoned said they didn’t hire women, much less women that were locksmiths. So after 3 months of no leads, and 9 months of no work prior to that, that company ended up hiring me. They needed for their stats because they were being paid by the state. What they did once I started working there was put me on the computer, which many of you may know is not great for carpel tunnel and soon my carpel tunnel started up again. They also had me doing quotes which I was no way experienced to do. I was set up. After several months of promises from the owner of the company to switch me back. I finally gave my notice and on my last day of work my boss told me not to even try to file for unemployment because he hadn’t paid anyone for 27 years and wasn’t going to start now. He fought my unemployment and he won. Not one agency said they could help me, and they didn’t. After being self employed for a few years and actually taking my daughter to work with me for 2 years, I gave it up and now am a stay at home mom. Funny thing, just got my social security informational that tells you how much you are entitled to a retirement, it’s about $187.00 a month. Whew! I thought I might be in trouble.:0

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January 5, 2008 at 11:10 pm by Anonymous

Sorry to play devil’s advocate here, but what is the point in contacting the EEOC office? If they’ve already given the job to someone else and you know based on their discriminatory nature that it’s not a family-friendly place (so why would you even wanna work there anymore), what’s in it for the victim? Is contacting the EEOC going to get the person the job? Of course not. Would it make the organization less likely to do it in the future? Who knows. I’m not trying to be contradictory — help me understand why this is so important and why the victim should even care anymore.

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January 5, 2008 at 11:12 pm by Anonymous

I recently applied for a job at the American Bar Association of all places, and they told me that I was the best candidate that they had interviewed, and there were no other candidates to be interviewed after me. The interviewer was to be my supervisor and towards the end of the meeting she began to ask me more casual questions related to my life and career. So when she asked me why I was looking to move from my current full-time job to the part-time job I was being interviewed for, I told her that it was because I was pregnant (7 months, which, oddly, she said she didn’t notice) and I had a 2 year old at home so a part-time job would be more manageable for me in the long run. Her face visibly changed and she asked me NO more questions…after that. She was just totally silent and I knew I blew it. No callback, no nothing. It really sucks but I guess it worked out for the best – who wants to work at a place where they don’t appreciate you for who you are?

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January 6, 2008 at 1:09 am by Anonymous

I was sitting in a department meeting one day, and in the course of the conversation my (female, unmarried, no children) boss said aloud, to the whole group, “I feel like I should get EXTRA credit as an employee because I don’t have kids, so I get a lot more done!” This was said by a person who was not at work to train me when I was hired because she was on a three-month medical leave! Of course I didn’t resent or begrudge her medical leave, and I never felt that she wasn’t being a “good employee” because she needed time off for cancer treatment. But here she was in a meeting, having missed months of work, openly slamming me, her ONLY employee who was a parent, in front of everyone else. I couldn’t believe it. She didn’t even realize what she’d said until a few moments later, when she looked over at me and saw me staring at her in disbelief. She just looked away and never mentioned it, much less apologizing to me for it.

She had told me during my annual review that I was doing fantastic work! (Although she also said that she “couldn’t” give me a top rating because I had been there less than a year and she “needed” to give the top rating to others first.) So what was the purpose of that nasty, unfair comment about parenthood?? It made me completely mistrust her ability to be fair and objective as my boss–and that’s a horrible feeling to have about the person in charge of your career advancement.

As it turned out, when the layoffs came around, I was the ONLY person in my group who was laid off, and I was also the ONLY parent of a school-age child in the group. Somehow I wasn’t surprised….

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January 6, 2008 at 3:06 am by Anonymous

This country is going backward. We now rank lower than all the other industrialized nations and becoming close to developing nations in our declining support for public education, decline in affordable and available health care for our citizens, and in the treatment of women (especially childbearing age) in the work place.

In France, for example, a woman gets 3 months, 6 months, 9 months paid maternity leave depending on how many children and their birth order (more children more paid leave). In addition, professionals may also be given a car, large enough to accomodate the brood, in order to return to the firm. Over there they understand the need for mothers to bond with their babies for proper development and subsequent relationship building. They also value the women as major contributors to the workforce.

And our government wonders why we have so much juvenile delinquency, high school drop-outs, teenage pregnancy, crime, etc.? Maybe it’s time for us to join with other industrialized nations and come up with laws that clearly support families and education.

Patricia Gracey

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January 6, 2008 at 5:15 am by Anonymous

When I was married but no kids yet, I was hired as an assistant professor at a Big Ten university on the ‘tenure ladder’ [this is the usual path]. During interviews, the dean communicated his belief that because of my advanced age, children would not be an issue. After being hired, I got pregnant and took a maternity leave. A male colleague informed me that the dean would see to it that I did not get tenure. And I did not although others with fewer qualifications did.

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January 6, 2008 at 6:52 am by Julie Weigand

First, the good part… When I unexpectedly got pregnant in late 2003, I had just moved to Ashland OR, and was scheduled to begin work at Mt Ashland Ski Club. My job there involved being on the slopes, which I was now hesitant to do, due to the risk of injury to the baby. I told my supervisor that I didn’t feel I should take the job, as I would not be able to do it to the best of my ability, and did they have anything inside, and he said they would make whatever accommodations necessary and he was sure I could do it. I was thrilled with his, and all management’s support, and worked through the winter.
However, ski season inevitably ends, and I began in January looking for another job to get me through to my delivery in August. I had obtained my massage therapy license for Oregon, with 3 years experience and licenses in 2 other states, and have 15 years of hospitality experience, including office and retail experience. I went on countless interviews, several each week. At the time, I felt that it would be unethical to not disclose that I was pregnant, as I wasn’t really showing yet, and now I realize I should have said nothing, as I did not receive one phone call back. I could not even get a job at the local grocery store or the food co-op! I was 32 when I was pregnant, with a wealth of travel and experience in a variety of fields, and had never had any trouble finding work before. As I was on my own for this adventure, and getting no support from the baby’s father, I opted to move back to the area where I had grown up on the east coast, where I was immediately hired for massage therapy by a former employer, at six months pregnant and also by a small graphic design firm doing office work. So, while they seem to be few, there are people out there who don’t discriminate against mothers, those who recognize what an individual has to offer. And while I was sad to leave the place I had intended to make my home, a place that is so progressive in so many other ways, I feel fortunate that I was able to find people who would value what I could do, and enabled me to have a home to bring my baby home to.
Motherhood is the ultimate responsibility. We are responsible for the physical, emotional and spiritual well-being and growth of a whole new life. Why would one think a mother can not handle the responsibility of a job? We have the most demanding job out there. I can understand the arguments~ time and scheduling restraints, having to take off when your child is ill. But the fact that these conflicts even exist, that these issues cause employers to avoid hiring mothers, show just how misguided are our priorities as a nation. If we as a society are ever to truly honor our children and change the violent, self destructive course we are currently on, then we must honor our mothers, and our fathers, and allow them to properly care for their children on all levels. At least let them have an income…

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January 6, 2008 at 8:46 am by Anonymous

It seems that profiling begins before women even enter the labor market. I got pregnant towards the end of my second year as a graduate student in a program known in my field for sending students on to tenure track jobs at top-tier universities. Professors and students alike consistently communicated the assumption that I was not getting much done anymore. At one point, one person said to me, “Oh, nobody expects you to be getting any work done these days.” On another occasion, my office mate told me that a prominent tenured professor in the program had said that my getting pregnant in grad school was career suicide. Everyone said these things cheerfully, all the while asking me about my preparations for the baby. They didn’t even bother to ask about my research. Surely, there was none. On the other hand, I never heard a single disparaging comment directed toward a male graduate student whose wife had a baby soon after I did. He was known as being talented and hardworking. The department threw him a baby shower (to which I was asked to contribute), and the department head sent out a congratulatory note when the baby was born. I was the recipient of none such largesse. On the bright side, my advisor had unfailing faith in my commitment and ability to get things done. I enjoy imagining the jaws dropping around my department now as I get one paper published after another, keeping pace with the program’s top students!

Nevertheless, given the attitudes I’ve seen in my graduate program since I began the motherhood journey, I’ve lost any sense of optimism I once had about academia being a family-friendly environment. It seems that graduate programs do an effective job of weeding out not only students who are less talented or motivated, but also promising women who are-or might become-mothers. I expect that I will run into the same biases on the job market that I faced in my department. Now I understand why there is such a brain drain of women from academia.

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March 19, 2008 at 8:55 pm by Leanne

I work for a company of about 250 employees in the middle of nowhere, MN. My 14 year old daughter needed surgery and recovery time at home so I asked my employer for time off, not expecting to get paid, just to have the time. I have not been able to accumulate any time, including vacation time due to sick kids. My 14 year old had chronic sinus infections, which lead to this surgery, and my 7 year old has asthma. We haven’t taken a family vacation in over 10 years. My employer blew up at me and told me I’d better have vacation time. I blew back at him and told him when I say my family comes first, I mean it. “Family first” is the mantra of alot of small companies, just to get potential employees through the door, but it doesn’t take long to see how it really is. On my way out the door that night, I stopped at the “Know Your Rights” poster, and lo and behold, I had the right to stay home with my daughter, so the next day I visited HR. Shortly after my boss called me into his office and told me it would be best if I stayed home with my daughter. Hm.

If I could change anyone’s mentality about this, I would. Parenthood is the one thing I think a blessing no matter what the circumstances. Incidentally, my boss is a “Christian” man with a family of his own whom I knew and respected before I was hired. In the workplace he’s all about control, but he can’t control the respect I have for him, which now amounts to none.

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January 7, 2008 at 6:41 pm by Melissa

When I was 21, I moved back to my home town with my fiance. He was orginally from a big city and my hometown was quite small. We had lived together in a large city for 2 years but when we had decided to get married and possibly have a family, we wanted to do so in a small town (with hardly any crime!) environment. We also thought that the amount of discrimination (esp. maternal profiling!) would be less because in a small town, everyone knows everyone. We had heard horror stories about maternal profiling in the big city and wanted to avoid that. Boy, were we wrong!

I got a job working as a CNA in a nursing home. I wanted to go to school to be a nurse so I figured that this was the perfect stepping stone. Not so much. Due to the inadequacy of the staff I had a miscarriage. I had told my superiors when I was pregnant and they seemed to think that I could do everything that I had previously done – including working with the (sometimes) violent alzheimers patients. I was struck in the abdomen and suffered a severely painful miscarriage 2 days later. I told my superiors about the incident and they failed to report anything, so there was no proof that the incident had taken place. A few months later when I became pregnant again, I was scrutinzied ruthlessly. There were numerous complications with the first trimester of the pregnancy so my doctor prescribed a weight restriction. I was not allowed to move anything 10 lbs or more in weight. And since we were understaffed at the time, the nurses (despite the orders of their superiors!) decided to ignore it. I was constantly under pressure to perform things at work that I was not medically allowed to do. I lost a promotion due to my restrictions. And I was bleeding quite heavily. And the other CNA’s talked about me, calling me horrible names (like “Fat Lazy Slob!) behind my back. So I was basically forced to quit. I went to the head nurse and told her everything but she never did anything about it at all. This was the life of my child – a child that I alredy loved more than anything – on the line. So I left. I am glad I did. But I am also very disappointed. I loved my job before the incident and I was a very very good worker. I worked until I dropped. And I loved doing it! But it wasn’t enough for them. What is even MORE disappointing is the fact that these are medical professionals and they didn’t even care about my health or my baby’s health because it was making life temporairily harder for them. They should ALL have their nursing licences taken away.

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January 8, 2008 at 11:49 pm by Anonymous

My husband and I –both with Master’s degrees, years of high tech experience and solid resumes — both faced discrimination by employers after becoming parents in our mid-30s. These were people who often had young children themselves (men) interviewing me, who would talk about how much travel was involved and so forth. It didn’t seem to matter when I told them how much travel I did with my clients during my career — with nursing child in tow or not — or that my husband and I share parenting responsibilities equally or that I had tons of experience with the rigors of the high tech world. Unfortunately, these interviewers knew about my daughter because I’d been referred by a friend within the company. My husband faced the same kind of comments. Of course, this is in a period when income is most needed.

I was lucky that when I got pregnant I was running my own business — and this was a deliberate choice I made and could afford, at least initially. But it ultimately meant paying upwards of $900 a month for private insurance, hiring a nanny and than daycare so that I could work a part-time schedule, and tapping into my (until then untapped) home equity to make ends meet since our incomes did go down while our daughter was an infant. We are still getting out from under the costs around having a child, made much easier now that our daughter is in an excellent public school that starts at age 3 and has a low-cost extended day program that goes until 6 p.m. But more difficult because our salaries are now significantly lower than in our peak pre-baby earning days – I now make only 60% of what I made 7 years ago. Because my husband was unable to find a job for more than a year, we both were able to put in a lot of time with our daughter and it has paid off in a happy, secure child if not in a secure bank balance.

I would strongly urge others –both women and men — applying for jobs to keep private your parental status (including pregnancy) unless you feel you will not be able to manage the job. Also, unless you have seen good behavior on the part of your employer, delay telling your employer about a pregnancy until you absolutely have to. Even if you miscarry, it can affect your career because you are now tagged as a mom-to-be. My sense is that it’s extremely difficult to get a job when you are pregnant, but also employers (some anyway) are afraid to fire you when you are pregnant, so there’s a bit of job security. Although, I have seen the laying off of pregnant women, moms, and women in general happen as well — typically instead of (generally less competent) men.

I am unhappy that the high tech world was happy to have me as a 25-30 year old workaholic, but not so interested when I became a parent. Certainly the market has changed from the peak years when I saw plenty of men with children hired (fewer women). Perhaps it’s the availability of cheap off-shore labor in that field, in particular, that devalues all employees.

At any rate, my husband and I have both moved out of the high tech sector and into the non-profit world, losing significant income, but gaining stability in hours. Now on most days our offices close by 5:30 p.m. and at least one of us always has dinner with our daughter. My boss is also the mother of a young child and very supportive and flexible around hours.

We know several European families, including one from Sweden living in the US. The contrast is unbelievable – about a year of paid maternity leave with job security in her case. Or friends in France with access to high quality, very inexpensive daycare starting at 3 months.

On one international discussion group I was on, a mother from Europe commented sadly upon hearing American moms say they couldn’t afford to have more children. She said that the poorest single mom in her country would never say that she couldn’t have more children for financial reasons. What a commentary on the “wealthiest” country in the world.

To be fair, I have also heard from friends that getting a job as a woman of childbearing age (especially married) in France and Germany can be difficult because employers expect you to leave soon and that will require them to hold your job. Of course, unemployment benefits are also stronger in those countries.

We tell a great story about upholding “family values” in this country, but our policies show very little value for families.

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January 8, 2008 at 6:24 pm by Anonymous

As a single mom with two small children, I was expected to be in my seat at work at 0800 every morning for a professional job in the IT department, while others at a similar level (no children) were allowed to come and go as they please. It is hard enough to get to children ready every morning, get out the door and be at work, but to be treated differently everytime my scheduled varied by 5 minutes was crazy.

I am not sure if it fits the profiling, but I sure felt singled out.

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January 8, 2008 at 2:03 pm by Rebecca from Cokato, MN

At our employer we know that people are going to have children and we are really open to hiring them. I got hired at 5 months pregnant. No one else would hire me but this small company did and its wonderful to work for. I even get to bring my kids to the office. I went back to work after 4 days but I got to bring my baby with and/ or work from home! We always bring our kids when we can. There are great companies out there willing to help mothers to be! We staff group homes for developmentally disabled adults and we always welcome moms to be and we even give them a little gift when they have their baby. We give them lighter duties until the baby comes and we are really open on letting them take as much time as they need. I even go home 3 times during my “paid” workday to breastfeed my daughter! I have never done bottles I get to see her 3 times a day! I am blessed. Just keep looking and you will find the right fit!
Rebecca

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January 8, 2008 at 10:33 am by Anonymous

I had a similar experience, though my advisor was not so understanding. Upon hearing the news, one member of my committee looked at me and said “Oh well” — as though the promising student I had been was now never to be. I went back to teaching when my son was six weeks old, but when I took the next semester off, due to my exhaustion, my advisor resigned from my committee.

I floated adrift for a couple of years. Then, I decided to prove them wrong. Again, imagine their surprise — and the rapid turnaround in attitude — when I received a prestigious post-doctoral fellowship and had my book published and received a tenure-track position before graduating. And I graduated within the expected five years.

But my experience as an assistant professor, seeing how women who have become pregnant and attempted to take more than 6-8 weeks off, confirms that to have a child while on the tenure track is indeed “career suicide.” One woman had a book published during the semester she took off, and was put on probation the following year. At my institution at the time, this is the step taken before giving someone the heave-ho.

I have been very disillusioned by academia, and feel that I may not be able to have a second child if I want to keep my job.

Oh — and it’s true — no one thinks anything of men who are new fathers. It’s expected that the wife at home will take care of it all and they will continue in their careers without a hitch.

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January 7, 2008 at 7:12 am by Anonymous

I was awarded 16 weeks of family and parenting leave in accordance with State law and company policy. I interrupted my leave due to financial crises at the organization that almost led to our closure. After successfully raising 6 figures in funding for my organization I tried to then take some of my family leave balance – and was denied. BTW, I work for a “women’s rights” organization!

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January 6, 2008 at 11:17 am by Alexis

I had a baby in December of 2006 as I was finishing up my dissertation. I got my dissertation done on time and, though I had planned to wait a year before applying for academic jobs, applied and got an interview for one job that opened up about 80 miles from where my husband and I were living. I had planned not to mention my motherhood status, but when the director of the search committee called to give me directions there was no way to hide the fact that my baby was crying.

So, at the interview, I got the following questions: “It won’t affect the search one way or another, but was that a baby I heard when I called you?”

And, “Why are you in (insert city) if you’re getting your degree from (another city)? (Answer – because my husband had a job there.)

And, “How do you plan to manage the commute (subtext: with a baby at home)?”

I didn’t get the job. However, I had another interview a month later in which none of these questions were asked, and did get that job. I don’t know whether my motherhood status affected their decision or not, but it didn’t leave me with a good feeling.

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January 6, 2008 at 10:27 am by Anonymous

I am almost 54 years old, have a Master’s degree, and have worked for the Dept of the Army as a civilian for over 30 years. I am always single and had triplets when I was 48. I am eligible to retire with a pension next year, but I live in a high-cost area and will need to find another job. I want one that will allow be to work around my kids’ schedule. Given all of these testimonials, I may just end up selling Tupperware despite my education and experience! Hiding the fact that I am single with triplets would be almost impossible.

When I graduated from college in 1976, my first job was as a management trainee with the phone company in Dallas. When I was interviewed, my boss-to-be asked if I planned to have children. Point blank. It surprised me. I told him I didn’t know at that point. And then, as I processed the shock I felt (since I knew they weren’t supposed to ask those things), I actually had the presence of mind to ask, “What does that have to do with my qualifications for the job?” He didn’t have an answer and hired me. However, I hated the job and quit after 3 1/2 months and did little part-time jobs after that until I started with the government. But the whole experience opened my eyes.

I hadn’t noticed maternal profiling in the government until I became a mom. It’s pretty subtle where I am. What happens is that the boss that used to pile work on (when I was single and had nothing better to do than work all the time) doesn’t do that anymore. Less opportunity to excel means worse performance appraisals and less pay. So I’m sure, at a time when I need more pay rather than less, I am losing pay.

What I think we moms all need to do is to really support and promote the companies that REALLY help moms out and don’t discriminate against them. Since I am a year out from retirement, I am looking around for such companies, and it’s hard to figure out who they are. Sure there are some lists (top 100 for working moms, older employees, etc.), but they are all over the country. Maybe we ought to take this local and really make known those companies that don’t allow maternal profiling. Not the ones who say they support work-life balance and don’t (I sort of hate that phrase, because it is so overused by companies that don’t even know what it means). Or maybe it’s just time to start more companies of our own and run the others out of business! Hey, it’s the American way!

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January 6, 2008 at 9:37 am by Anonymous

I fell the need to respond to this from the perspective of a former Recruiter, General Manager who is also a single mother of twins.

It is illegal to ask a person’s Marital/family status during an interview. A reputable hiring agent knows that and wouldn’t risk legal trouble by asking such questions. Many hiring agents look at a person with a well rounded life as an asset to the workforce over someone who may lack the social skills to obtain the “average” phase of life for your age groups’ social norm.

Personally, I use the fact I am a single mother of twins to demonstrate my ability to multi-task and it has worked for me. However, this is a risky thing to do.

If you chose to divulge your marital/family status, just like anything you say during an interview, you should do so only in the way that will show your positives and not your negatives. As I mentioned, to emphasize you are well rounded, capable, flexible, can multi-task, etc., never say things like “I can’t.. (work overtime, for example)” because I have to bla bla bla .. “my kids.” Of course your kids are your priority, by saying this during an interview you are only showing your prospective employer your complete inflexibility. Work, like everything else in life, requires some flexibility.

A very real outcome of maternal profiling is the lower pay. If you need or want the position and you are a single mother there is a flag up that tells perspective employers she will work hard and she will accept less for the work, she is “hungry”. What employer wouldn’t use that barging chip?

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January 6, 2008 at 10:10 am by Anonymous

A staffing agent, HR professional, will tell you the best way (economically) to fill a position is to find a person who not only can do the job but someone who will be happy in the position. High turn over reflects poorly on the HR dept. as well as, the company over all. High turn over is also costly and counter productive.

As an HR person I ALWAYS ask “Do you have personal commitments that I should be aware of?” This is an honest question to ensure the candidate can meet the position scheduled requirements, as well as, allowing the candidate the power to say “I have an obligation twice a month that does not conflict with the schedule we discussed.” Or, “Due to my current obligations I am not available after 7pm.”

If your “obligation” is church, family, sickness or just personal time.. you have stated that up front during the interview and in the end it will allow both the employer and the employee to set the tone without allowing for discrimination based on religion, family status, sickness, etc.

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January 13, 2008 at 1:34 pm by Anonymous

I think the term “maternal” profiling still fits because although women of childbearing age face SOME of the same scrutiny, women with children face much more. I’ve been laid off when I was five months pregnant at a job I’d found just six months or so prior. Looking for a job when I was beginning to be visibly pregnant was a COMPLETELY different experience. I was finally hired by a man who didn’t notice I was pregnant, but got to be there when his boss took one look at me, looked angrily at him and took him in a back room to have words with him.

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January 5, 2008 at 3:37 pm by Anonymous

I worked for a large corporation that is a defense contractor. The corporation claimed that its policies were aimed at promoting “work-life balance,” but it turned out to be a sham. I had my son in 1999. I requested part-time employment, which I was granted. I continued to work part-time as my son proceeded through his toddler years and went on to pre-school and kindergarten (which was a half-day in the school district we lived in; don’t get me started on the ridiculousness of that for working parents). In the meantime, we had decided to adopt a child internationally. As this process progressed, the company was starting work on another government contract, which meant a lot more work for my department. Instead of planning to hire more people in a systematic fashion (the hiring process was lengthy due to needing a certain set of skills and because a security clearance was required), the manager of the department decided to wring as much as possible out of existing employees. I began to get pressured to return to work full-time, including being told that my job performance was deteriorating, when it wasn’t. I was even hauled before someone in our HR department, who told me that the company “expected” me to be available at all times, without exception, to work. (I had to bite my tongue not to say that sounded a lot less like an employment situation and a lot more like involuntary servitude.) I was told that I should return full-time, even though the adoption was within six months of completion. When I questioned whether this might look to an outsider (say, someone from our corporate ethics department) like I was trying to get full-time benefits just before I planned to be out on leave, and that I could be accused of gaming the system, they actually agreed that could be the case. They were telling me to engage in unethical behavior! I reported them to our ethics department, who supported me. My next performance appraisal was the worst I had ever had in 19 years of working at the company, and was completely false. It was obviously an attempt to retaliate against me for not agreeing to come back full-time in a dubious ethical situation. Since I was part-time, I did not quality for family medical leave (another agenda item for Moms Rising). I had saved enough vacation that, coupled with my part-time schedule, meant I could be out about 8 to 10 weeks, which I planned to take when I brought my child home. When I told my supervisor this, he and the department manager informed me that I couldn’t possilby take all that time because of “business needs.” They said I could probably “get away” (like it wasn’t legitmate paid vacation I had EARNED), with taking a week or two, but that was about it. They acted like I was getting a new puppy, not bringing home a child! (I would be curious if they would have said the same thing to another employee who planned to use extended vacation for, say, a trip to Europe. I’d bet they wouldn’t.) My husband and I did some number crunching and soul-searching, and decided that I could quit. (This didn’t mean just losing my income; my husband is self-employed, so we also lost our health insurance.) I have been a stay-at-home mom since, but it still amazes me that they were able to get away with this. I knew it was discriminatory, and now I have a name for it — maternal profiling.

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January 5, 2008 at 2:45 pm by Anonymous

I also have a PhD. and had a tenure-track position at Rutgers. As a feminist, I never thought this could happen to me, but here it goes…I was in a department in the humanities that prouds itself of having many women who do “feminist” studies. What I later found out was that they weren’t really feminists at all. During my third year review for tenure, I realized that I was pregnant. I managed to hide it until the review was over, and I receivedd a great review, but I finally had to tell them. One of my “feminist”, senior colleagues suggested that she had “a number” I could call that it wasn’t the right moment in my career to have a second child. I was married at the time, so I was outraged that she would even say such a thing, I told her that I am pro choice and that having my daughter was my choice. Needless to say, they conducted a search the following year and by the time tenure came around, even though I had published more than anybody ever in the department, and I had great evaluations, they put the other woman they had hired subsequently up for tenure at the same time as me and they denied me tenure. My discrimination for having a child could not be proven because it was women who were antimotherhood, not men. This happened 16 years ago but when I attend conferences, I hear very similar stories. I’m very happy to have my daughter but I lost my career in the process. Frankly, I wouldn’t have it any other way!

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January 5, 2008 at 2:29 pm by ideasmith

If you really want to make a Difference – get behind PASSING THE (ERA) EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT TO THE U.S. CONSTITUTION!!!

Sexism has been happening forever, and certainly in our awareness since the 1970′s second wave of Feminism. Fighting all these Separate Fights for Womens Rights is a stupid waste of energy – Anything can be legislatively overturned -

2004: In the U.S. House of Representatives, Rep. Robert Andrews introduced the “3-state strategy”
ERA bill, H.Res.38. As you know this will allow us to complete the ratification making the ERA an Amendment to the U.S. Constitution and win any challenge to the ratification because it will not be past the ‘time limit’.

Put Women In The U.S. Constitution – The ERA:
Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex. Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article. Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

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January 5, 2008 at 2:44 pm by Anonymous

I found out I was pregnant in June of 2007 with my first child. I waited until about 12 weeks to tell my manager, who immediately started asking me if I was planning on coming back after the baby. I told him that my plans were to return to work at the hospital (I was a RN in administration). Well, about a month later, my job was eliminated due to “budget cuts”. Oddly enough, I was the only person who completely lost their position due to these “budget cuts” and the hospital system announced they were purchasing a new hospital the same day I got the news. I contemplated filing a claim with the EEOC, but in the end I did not. I ended up taking a position as an instructor with a local university…for better pay & much better hours! I didn’t file a claim with the EEOC mainly because the hospital had such a strong partnership with the nursing school that I didn’t want to cause problems for my new employer. My new employer is absolutely fabulous! Probably b/c the department is headed by working mothers, who have all been in my shoes! They didn’t care that I was going to be 8 months pregnant when I started working or that I would be taking maternity leave in the middle of my first semester. As the Dean of the program said, “we have worked around all kinds of family situations.” There attitude has really put me at ease about working and being a mother. I just wish there were more employers like them out there.

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March 19, 2008 at 8:49 am by Anonymous

I am actually going to point out a positive experience I’m having now at my current employer. I left a “high-stress/long-hours/a lot of travel” job to take a position with the federal government when my step-son came to live with us 2 years ago. I was able to set up my schedule so that I could get into work early so that I could be home at a reasonable hour. Then I became pregnant and things have gotten even better since I had the baby. I took the full 12-weeks of maternity leave (although my big complaint is that most of it was unpaid since I had been with the govt for about a year so had little sick/annual leave built up). However, my employer has allowed me to work a reduced and flexible schedule upon my return. I work in the office 3 days a week, I telecommute one day and I take one day off (without pay). I also get into the office very early so I can leave by 3 or 3:30pm each day. The office does a good job of scheduling mid-day meetings (for those of us with flexible schedules) or we can conference call in from home. And I haven’t seen any evidence that being around less is hurting my reputation as being a hard worker, etc. I’m still being asked to head up important projects and I got very good feedback at my last review (with a good raise). If anything, they think I’m extra dedicated because I am trying to “do it all”. There are a few other women (and men) in my office who also have recently had babies, and they too are working reduced hours, etc. It makes us feel very valued that they care enough about us to work with us. I don’t this this attitude is across the board for the federal government, but I think my particular office and supervisors are very supportive. They are interested in keeping us, which is great, because I would not have come back from maternity leave. Speaking of which, I have struggled deeply with the notion of taking a few years off to be with the baby. In addition to having a flexible work environment, I feel like I have finally worked my way up the food chain over the years and have gotten to a good salary level (6-figures). I’m am very worried that if I were to take a few years off, I would basically be “starting over” when I re-entered the work force. I can’t tell you how many women I know who have had this very experience. Although they are educated with lots of experience, they have to basically take entry-level positions to get their foot back in the door. They also have a very hard time getting past the gaps in their resume with their potential employers. I’m not about to take a few years off, only to have to start over again at $30K a year. We shouldn’t have to worry about that, but it is a reality. I’m doing the best I can to balance work with family, and it is very difficult, but having a supportive employer is a VERY GOOD start (so I am hesitant to leave).

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March 20, 2008 at 1:37 am by Anonymous

Is this a joke or what, sounds like she had it made… give me a break please.

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March 24, 2008 at 5:17 pm by Anonymous

I have 4 children and when they were small i worked from 4PM-12AM so that I could be with the children during the day. I also did all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, car pools, school mom to the older ones, dragging the younger ones around. My then husband (now ex) also did not recognize the fact that I worked outside the home and thought it was easy to juggle all I did. With that being said, if there was a function for the children at night while I was at work, he refused to take them to it. It was to hard to take all four and it was not important enough to bother him with.

I agree this is a childhood thought process. We need to teach our children that there is no gender role when it comes to raising children and that both parties should be participating and helping.

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January 9, 2008 at 3:00 pm by Teri

Maternal profiling extends in many manifestations throughout our society; not only in the attitudes of employers.

When my daughter was pre-K, I worked as an arts consultant from my home to help bring in some salary to pay bills and to keep myself from being isolated and going brain dead. I worked 20-30 hours a week. My time was split up through out the day. I worked about 4-5 hours when my daughter was in school. When she got out, I was the chauffer mom taking her to swimming, play dates and horseback riding. I cleaned the house, did the laundry, mowed the lawn, shoveled the snow, shopped for groceries, and did all the cooking. My husband worked at an “important job”, e.g., with Rockefeller Foundation and then the UNDP in New York, so he was never around to see what it took to juggle all I had going. To finish my work, I had to stay up late at night to meet deadlines for projects and grants that I was writing after I put my daughter to bed. My husband felt that I was a stay-at-home mom and that I didn’t do anything. The $2,000+/month that I brought home for consulting was negligible, and the value of my working from home to raise our daughter was not appreciated.

In my experience, no amount of education will change chauvanistic attitudes of men folk at home (my once husband and now ex- has a Ph.D.!). His attitude and world view were ingrained in childhood. This is only one of my maternal profiling stories. I can tell several more that I have experienced since I have been divorced and active in the workplace!

No wonder single mothers scrounge at the bottom of the pay scale!

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January 9, 2008 at 3:29 pm by Anonymous

I am in the third year of my 6-year long tenure process at a small midwestern two-year college. During this first year I was employed there, I was not on the tenure track–I had been hired as an adjunct. I had just had a baby (in fact, I had to bring her, at 3 weeks old, to the interview–luckily the dean’s secretary was able to watch her, and she slept through the whole thing). When she started daycare, she was just over 3 months old, and like most babies in daycare, she got sick. I had to cancel some classes in the fall of 2004 and the spring of 2005, and I was told off by my campus department head (grouchy older woman with grown children) about it. When I explained why I had had to stay home (my daycare will not take a child with a fever or diarrhea, etc.), I got no sympathy.

In the fall of 2005, I started on the tenure track, and things were fine until October, when my daughter had another bout of pneumonia that required a visit to the ER in the middle of the night. I canceled class the following day. In December, I caught the flu, and canceled another day and a half of classes. For the record, as a professor, I’m also a state employee, and I earn 10.7 hours of sick leave per month of my contract; my state has been trying to figure out a way to keep us from “stockpiling” our sick leave for retirement (I’m a long way away from it, trust me)–so perhaps you can see the irony.

When I received my retention letters, my overall department letter said nothing about the cancellations, though the campus committee (with my grouchy campus department head as the chair) did mention the class cancellations (go figure)–and virtually nothing about the great comments on my student evaluations. My letter from the dean contained a HUGE paragraph about my “notable” absences: a grand total of 2.5 days in the course of an 80-day semester. This is all in my permanent file. When my colleagues on other campuses found out, they were incensed on my behalf, and I discussed the matter with my overall department chair. His advice was to ignore it and let my great work for the campus and the department speak for itself.

So I did. I busted my proverbial arse for another year (2006)–chairing important campus committees, designing cool new courses–and guess what? My absences from the first year (which was really only the fall semester of 2005) came up AGAIN when the campus committee met to discuss my retention (by now, my grouchy campus head had retired, and I became the de facto chair of my campus’ department). My daughter had been sick on and off (she is prone to bouts of pneumonia, and we’re still trying to figure out why) throughout the year, and I had become downright paranoid about canceling class, even though by state law I am allowed to take up to 5 days without any kind of medical excuse. One of the committee members pointed out that what the dean had done was legally actionable on my part: I could claim a hostile work environment, and as a state employee, that would really be a black eye for a supposedly progressive state. That effectively shut the discussion down, but I am troubled that it came up again; how is it that there is no empathy for a mother whose child is sick?

For the record, my husband works for a small company, and only gets two paid sick days per year, so if he stays home, we lose money.

My third-year dossier went out this past Friday. The last document in it is a two page letter addressing this issue once and for all. We’ll see how it flies. I will say this: I never expected to be penalized for being a mother whose job is at a university. It makes me wonder what will if happen if/when I get pregnant again.

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March 19, 2008 at 12:22 pm by Anonymous

I am selfishly glad to hear that I am not alone in being “Maternal Profiled”. I have a similar story that people have been sharing. I was hired while I was engaged, and a few years later became pregnant. I took a 9 week maternity leave. When I returned the President of the company actually said to me “We need to stop hiring women because all they do is get pregnant and take maternity leaves”. I was so dumbfounded I couldn’t say anything in response. It took me 2.5 years to get a salary review, and only got one because I had to get in my boss’s face everyday. I was told the company doesn’t give raises nor bonuses, which I found out wasn’t true and when I brought the “truth” to the table I magically got a raise and was offered to be put on the bonus program. Since having my baby I have been told that I have to be on time everyday or I will be fired, yet lots of people come and go as they please. During a very hard period I asked for part time status for 6 weeks and was denied. I was told if I go part time (even temporarily) my reputation would be tarnished. I am being watched and my hours tracked, even though I am in a Director level position and this is insulting and ridiculous. I was told I am taking too much time for my baby but I only missed one day of work in 8 months for her. Yes, the working world is a boys club, and the boys in charge have children and can afford for their wives to stay at home full time. This is very difficult and I’m hoping “maternal discrimation” will get policymakers’ attention.

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May 7, 2008 at 2:47 pm by Anonymous

irresponsible to want to care and bond with my child for 6 meger weeks so that he one day may grow to be a productive citizen opposed to a neglected child? irresponsible for wanting to come back to the job i held previously? are you serious! Why pay taxes then if when someone needs a little help, they can’t receive it? That is what the government is for, to help its citizens. not just to collect our money to line their pockets with. it is so that when you or I need some assitance from our otherwise hard working lives, someone is their to offer a little help, it is what i work for. not so that my taxes go to kill my children in foreign lands for foreign oil. your priorities are all screwed up. do us a favor, oh so responsible one, never reproduce. PLEASE!!!!

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March 31, 2008 at 4:49 pm by Carolina Maine

I will have my MA in December 2008. I have been a stay-at-home mother for ten years. I decided to get an education during this time by scheduling around my husband’s schedule. It was difficult as we are very economically disadvantaged.

Guess what?

I can’t find anyone to hire me because I don’t have any work references available for the ten years I was educating myself so that I could return to the workforce as a productive citizen. I do, however, have university references–just as new 22 year-old graduates. I am 29!

I stayed home and reared my children through the earliest years as it is the best thing to do–according to actual studies. I did the right thing by my community and country; however, I am now a “breeder” and “ignorant” according to many employers.

I suppose this is what I deserve for financing my future away with student loans…and trying to be a decent citizen.

**I hate to say this, but I have found female interviewers to be the most hostile about my decision to stay home. I figure it must be a result of the pressure exerted upon them by male employees.

My blog on medical studies:
http://mainemedical.blogspot.com/

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June 4, 2008 at 10:43 pm by Jen06

I have a problem when people judge others on how they take their PTO. It’s PTO! Paid Time Off! Most jobs it’s use it or lose it, too. No matter what, you’re entitled to take those days. Granted, if you have a huge project that needs to be submitted to a conference and the deadline is Feb 1 then you probably should take PTO, unless it’s a real emergency, until you have your part done!

But, I don’t care if you take your PTO to go to a hair appointment or to take care of your sick mom or because your kid brought a Tylenol to school and is being suspended…as long as you take your PTO.

Also, if someone has to leave early and can’t take PTO then as long as they make up the hours, and most importantly, get their work done then why not?

It’s always obvious when someone isn’t doing their job, no matter if they’re at their desk 50 hours a week or only 25….

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March 31, 2008 at 5:00 pm by Carolina

Jacqueline S Homan,

I know what you mean about eye candy. I have two children, and you would never know it if you saw me naked. I think my resume turns employers off–

The interviews I have had were all with women, and each one was rude to me–one told me it was 1960s of me to stay home. She might want to try the 1950s.

There is a career fair in my new city in a few days. I plan on making myself somewhat attractive….I know it will help.

What a sad world?

I have even thought about just saying that I have only been a student–no mom–not even going to wear a wedding band. Seriously, I NEED to work.

About credit:

I had good credit. My husband pays $160 every TWO weeks for Blue Cross Blue Shield health insurance. Guess what? After I became ill and needed a hospital stay–they are rejecting all of my claims–even an annual physical. Outrageous. The worst thing is that even though I have sent BC/BS certified letters about my claims–and have well documented calls and letters to hospitals/clinics-my bills are going to collection agencies anyway.
I feel like crying sometimes. One week at the hospital= $24K plus in debt=my credit score ruined.

I have never felt “beaten” in my life, but I am very close to it right now.

I’m sorry you are all having a hard time. I wish I was born in a socialist country–like Sweden or something.

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March 19, 2008 at 3:57 pm by Anonymous

Why should the state or government have to pay for someone to be on leave after having a child? Before parents bring children into the world, they should make sure they are financially prepared for that responsibility. That includes time away from work. It is all about responsibility. The government should not have to bear the financial burden, the parents should. The government does not even produce any income, but taxpayers do. If you want the government to pay your wages, then find a company that would be willing to pay that as a benifit, but don’t try to get me (a taxpayer) to pay for some unresponsible parent to have their kid.

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July 8, 2008 at 11:17 pm by Anonymous

as underpaid, and because I was a mother who had the “audacity” to wan

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March 21, 2008 at 4:59 pm by Anonymous

On March 21st, 2008 Anonymous (not verified) said:

Saying that the government and other taxpayers should have no role in supporting American families (with paid parental leave or other family-friendly policies) is a bit like saying a civilization can be built without humans helping one another. No man (or mother) is an island, and Homo Sapiens wouldn’t be where we are today without working together.

Sure it’s nice if someone is sufficiently intelligent, skilled, and successful enough to plan for all of life’s contingencies and never need any type of safety net, the case here being the ideal of being financially established before having a baby. But what if this doesn’t happen? Are you going to deny that infant the opportunity to bond with his or her mother? How about if the mom has a surgical birth and needs a few weeks to recover but she fears a pink slip if she’s home for a few weeks? How about if she’s so stressed out about taking an unpaid leave (and not being able to make ends meet) that she can’t breastfeed her newborn (it happens!).

And if you don’t want to think about the mother, think for a minute about the baby. Fast forward to the time when you’re lying on an operating table getting open heart surgery, and you are glad that “kid” cutting you open had good parents who got to nurture him because they had family leave, flexible work schedules, and a dedication to his education and care. A few tax dollars to make it happen? It will seem like pennies from heaven.

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March 19, 2008 at 3:26 pm by Anonymous

I have to agree that this happens quite a bit in the world of consulting as well. I used to work till last week at a Civil Engineering firm in the STate of Washington, a pretty reputed firm with a good percentage of women. EVerything was going well till I had a baby. I was lucky enough to have my family take care of him till he was 18 months old. And then started the daycare. He started falling sick and almost every week, I had to take a day off at least. All, time off without pay. Slowly I noticed that people stopped giving me work and ultimately it reached a point that I had to go looking for work. It finally hit me when my manager requested whetehr I could work during my sick leave. How on earth are you supposed to work when u have a toddler sleeping on you coz he can’t breathe. Or you are walking around with him coz he is cranky or is in pain. In a week’s time, i gave my notice. My son still goes to daycare but I feel definitely great about the fact that I can take care of my son if I need to without having to lose work/repsect at my company. Note: I am as accomplished as any of them out there. I just passed my PE(Professional Engineer) license. This was all a lot of hard work from my part, this shows how commited I am to my career. Only if companies would reciprocate a little bit to mothers during the first 2 years of having baby.

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September 24, 2008 at 2:03 am by Polly Hargrove

I never talk about my children or even mention the fact that I am a mother during the interview. You have to be crazy to do that. One thing that does work is mentioning a hysterectomy, though.

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December 5, 2008 at 4:35 pm by Anonymous

But, I don’t care if you take your PTO to go to a hair appointment or to take care of your sick mom or because your kid brought a Tylenol to school and is being suspended…as long as you take your PTO.

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December 5, 2008 at 4:40 pm by Anonymous

had good credit. My husband pays $160 every TWO weeks for Blue Cross Blue Shield health insurance. Guess what? After I became ill and needed a hospital stay–they are rejecting all of my claims–even an annual physical. Outrageous. The worst thing is that even though I have sent nokia forum BC/BS certified letters about my claims–and have well documented calls and letters to hospitals/clinics-my bills are going to collection agencies anyway.
I feel like crying sometimes. One week at the hospital= $24K plus in debt=my credit score ruined.

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January 9, 2009 at 5:13 am by betsson

thank you very much. teperim geri kaç

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January 15, 2009 at 4:11 pm by Jamsy

take your PTO to go to a hair appointment? how to understand that?

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January 17, 2009 at 11:24 am by betsson24

betsson24

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February 10, 2009 at 10:56 pm by itouch copy

The facilitator was skillful and kind in her answers and kept pointing out that the real basis for hiring should be a person’s skills, experience, and professional potential. Maybe they listened, but I am not hopeful. I know that maternal profiling is out there – I have worked in Human Resources for more than a decade now – but as a mother and a business owner, I was astonished, maybe even heartbroken, to hear it voiced so blatantly in a forum consisting entirely of women.

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March 1, 2009 at 12:34 am by betsson

Good reading. The info has helped me a lot.

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February 26, 2009 at 8:50 am by camille

When I was married but no kids yet, I was hired as an assistant professor at a Big Ten university on the ‘tenure ladder’ [this is the usual path]. During interviews, the dean communicated his belief that because of my advanced age, children would not be an issue. After being hired, I got pregnant and took a maternity leave. A male colleague informed me that the dean would see to it that I did not get tenure. And I did not although others with fewer qualifications did.

Camille Betclic

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February 10, 2009 at 10:58 pm by itouch copy

gooele

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March 10, 2009 at 3:22 pm by basket

nice.

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February 4, 2009 at 12:26 pm by betsson

But, I don’t care if you take your PTO to go to a hair appointment or to take care of your sick mom or because your kid brought a Tylenol to school and is being suspended…as long as you take your PTO.

Also, if someone has to leave early and can’t take PTO then as long as they make up the hours, and most importantly, get their work done then why not?

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February 22, 2009 at 8:17 am by bet365

Also, if someone has to leave early and can’t take PTO then as long as they make up the hours, and most importantly, get their work done then why not?

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February 22, 2009 at 8:16 am by betsson

After I became ill and needed a hospital stay–they are rejecting all of my claims–even an annual physical

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February 12, 2009 at 12:47 pm by Dennis Jameson - Good Credit

Great post, Kristin. It’s just disappointing that nothing much has changed with how women are being treated in this society. We all know how women have fought for their right to suffrage decades ago, but was it even enough? Women play a great role in this economy. It’s just sad that companies do not pick up on that.

Dennis

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February 17, 2009 at 1:46 pm by betsson

Great advice! Thanks for gathering all that commenting info and sharing it with us!

betsson james

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March 25, 2009 at 4:04 pm by Free games

thanks for great article.
much appreciated.

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March 26, 2009 at 9:03 am by northern california drug rehab

I simply challenged singles to take on the experience of parents just for a few hours, day, or whatever

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March 29, 2009 at 1:34 pm by Dissertation writing

I can say this is really wonderful article.
SO please respect author.
Hey author, u r best.

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April 9, 2009 at 7:01 am by betsson

thanks for information.

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March 17, 2008 at 4:40 am by Jacqueline S Homan

The ultimate kick in the pants is that as a 41 year old woman, who obviously isn’t going to be a “mommy”, I found myself denied employment because I am no longer young (although I am hardly a candidate for the geriatric ward). Younger women are discriminated against because they have/might have children. Older women are discriminated against because we’re no longer “eye candy.” (which is an insult to women everywhere to have our worth reduced to our physical appearance)

One of the main excuses given by men in justifying job discrimination against women since the passage of Title VII in 1964 was that women pose a hardship to companies because women are likely to get pregnant and then have to take off to deal with the kids. Consequently, many mothers ended up poor and on welfare and were unable to get all but the most menial, low-paying, physically unpleasant of jobs – a glaring fact that was left out of the welfare reform debates back in 1996. Even today, a woman with a Bachelors Degree earns less than a white male high school drop-out (on average). This is an outrage!

In addition to sex discrimination, poor women – especially poor mothers – are subject to another kind of discrimination for good jobs: poverty profiling.

When you are poor, when you have bad credit due to being poor from being jobless and you live in the “wrong side of town” and can’t afford the “right image”, you are denied job opportunities that you are qualified for. This is going on unchallenged in our society, a society which claims to be a meritocracy, which holds welfare recipients in scorn and contempt for not working and “living large” off the backs of employed taxpayers (while they are denied the very jobs they need so they CAN work and support themselves without having to be on welfare).

We need to hold big business and government accountable for this injustice and vote with our wallets!

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March 18, 2008 at 12:03 am by Anonymous

In late 2000, after working for a reputable design firm as their senior art director for nearly 6 years, I announced that I was pregnant. I told my employers 5 months before my anticipated leave so that they’d have ample time to plan for it. I also asked for reduced hours when I returned to work. My employers’ response: they ignored me for the next 4-1/2 months. They wouldn’t talk to me about it, or even return my emails. I literally did not know whether I would have a job to return to, even though I was only requesting the amount of leave permitted by the company. The stress of not knowing what was going to happen to my job was the worst part of my first pregnancy.

My employers and I finally had a discussion just a week or two before my leave. I was told that men play with their kids and women nurture their kids, and since nurturing is more time-consuming and exhausting, I wouldn’t be able to work as hard or focus when I was back in the office. Apparently this antiquated attitude was their justification for ignoring me for nearly 5 months and their lack of commitment to my reduced-hour schedule. I was also told that it was “more important to be a good mother than a good employee.” Clearly, they didn’t think a woman could be both.

Upon my return, I successfully worked a reduced-hour schedule for nearly 4 more years, not missing a single deadline. I worked hard, kept my clients happy, and won some more awards. I knew more programs than anyone else in the office, being proficient in Quark, InDesign, Illustrator, Freehand and Photoshop (as well as support programs like Word and Excel). My printers loved me, and told me there were a lot of so-called creatives in town but very few with the skills I had. One printer said I was one of a handful of creatives who could actually get a 48-page catalog through prepress with no changes.

Despite all this, I was never paid fairly. In 2003 I found out I was experiencing pay discrimination when the office manager accidentally saved the company payroll to one of my working folders. I didn’t know what the file was because it was cryptically named. I opened it, and discovered in a matter of seconds how underpaid I was. After I did some market research to see what I should be paid, I learned that the boys in the office (yes, I was the only female creative) were paid from the 37th to the 68th percentile of the national medians for their positions, while I was paid a mere 9th percentile of the national median for mine. I put together a raise request and was given one. The raise got me to about the 25th percentile, still well below where others in the office were. I was told at the time that I deserved to be paid more, and I would be paid more if I went back to a full-time schedule. I considered it, but decided having a reduced-hour schedule was more important to me at that time.

In January 2005, I announced my second pregnancy. I explained I wanted to take 7 months off (unpaid, as was my first extended leave) and continue to work reduced hours upon my return. I said I realized that this was more than the company’s extended leave policy, and reminded them that they had stepped outside this policy and given me 4 months off when my first child was born. I also said I understood that after 7 months off, a position may not be available to me upon my return, meaning I realized they’d need to get some temporary help to cover for me while I was gone and with that came the risk they could like the new person more. But I was willing to take that risk if they were willing to grant me the extended leave.

About a month before I planned on taking my leave, my employer told me he had hired someone in a full-time position to replace me and that my current part-time position, or any position for that matter, was no longer available. This was the first discussion that we had had about my pregnancy and return-to-work request.

Not once during the entire time I worked for this company did they tell me I needed to work full-time in order to keep my job. (In fact, my employer conceded that I had made a part-time position work.) And obviously, if they weren’t willing to grant a 7-month leave and had discussed it with me, then I would have had to make a choice between returning to work earlier than I had hoped or quitting. But that choice was never given to me because my job was hired out from under me without talking to me about those or potentially other options.

Basically, I worked in an office where no matter how often I proved myself over and over again, I was not able to overcome my employers’ mind-set that a woman could not be both a good mother and a good employee. It didn’t matter that my husband and I always split the time at home when our daughter got sick. (In fact, he probably stayed home with her more than I did because of a week-long photo shoot I couldn’t miss.) It didn’t matter that when my daughter was hospitalized for rotavirus, I kept my wits and remembered what deadlines I had that week, and even left the hospital late one night to finish up an ad that had to ship the next day. It didn’t matter that I never missed deadlines, that my clients were happy, that I knew the most programs, that I rarely made mistakes, that I won awards. None of it mattered.

Because I was a woman I was underpaid, and because I was a mother who had the “audacity” to want to work reduced hours I ultimately lost my job.

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March 5, 2008 at 2:30 pm by Anonymous

I’ve been out of the loop for nearly a decade raising two kids. I admit that the employment section before #2 came along scared me for the same reasons I’ve read from many of you here. Though having another child only put off the unavoidable return, I hoped things would have improved by then. As I near the time of having to find a job, my fears are again rising.
The last two jobs I had before kids were not female friendly. One had a male boss and mostly female employees. When I mentioned my upcoming divorce to my supervisor, she told me that if the boss had known I wouldn’t have been hired. His thought was that single women were unreliable, but married, preferrably w/kids, had to work to pay the bills and wouldn’t take time off. I know my supervisor called to check on her kids, but only if the boss was out. I got the impression that they were often home alone.
When I sought a better job later, I got one at a small, woman-owned company. On the surface, while interviewing, it seemed women had many key positions. Shortly after, I was told by one that I shouldn’t try too hard and should look for a better job because I would never be promoted beyond assistant; the point she’d been stalled at for years. She quit and I took over her job in addition to my original one, but w/o the title. It had only been given to pacify her. The sales woman was given many out-of-town customers but couldn’t always travel due, in part, to family obligations. A man was assigned to most local sales. She privately told me that she had a degree her manager didn’t, yet he often referred to her as “my little helper” to clients. She left, planning to start her own business.
Eventually I took over an important position from a man who was retiring. (None of the men wanted it.) I thought it was my big chance to move up. Although I was trained and did the job well, I was put on probation for the first year with no increase in salary “to see how it would work out.” Most of the “worker bee” men thought I had broken the barrier they knew was there, even though it didn’t affect them. They were quietly outraged for me when I corrected them. I re-married and couldn’t have been happier to quit when my baby was due.
The consensus was that the female boss was trying to prove herself among male competitors and didn’t want to appear “soft” by letting women “get away with things” the men didn’t ask for – like time off for sick child care.
I hoped that after all these years, especially these last 7 with all the “family values” talk that things would be better. Thanks for opening my eyes, even if the workplace doors are still shut!
What I don’t understand is why women are still looked upon as if they have no business in business unless they have no other commitments. Women w/o kids slam those with kids, siding with so many men who feel mothers are expecting special treatment. Most mothers I have known or heard about are willing to make up hours, change shifts, etc to hold their own if they do take off time for their children. Since most make less than their husbands, they feel it would hurt the family more if dad took time off, so they sacrifice vacation time, promotions, and their kids when they are forced to leave them home alone, just to try to prove themselves worthy – and they so often fail when they are looked upon like lower class women, mothers, and employees.

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January 13, 2008 at 2:05 pm by Anonymous

It’s more difficult, but having applied for jobs as a single woman, (where I was more likely to be hired I noticed for being slim and attractive than other women) and as a pregnant woman, and as a mother, I can say it’s MUCH easier to get hired when you’re single. There’s a lot of subtle questions about “outside responsibilities” (where even an uncomfortable pause can give you away) and getting hired when I was pregnant was next to impossible.

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January 13, 2008 at 2:16 pm by Laura Wright

This has happened to me several times. Despite the proof I have that I am more active and capable of working than ever, I’m still judged, not only because I have a son, but because he’s autistic. As soon as the conversation drifts in that direction, assumptions are made, and I’m condesended, ignored, dismissed, or a combination of these. It’s ridiculous.

I am utterly disgusted with applying for jobs and having this treatment. Do parents have more obligations as opposed to non-parents? Sure. It’s also called time management and most of the parents I know are experts at it. Seems this is one quality that employers just refuse to look at.

I think far too many employers are just arrogant. At least, it has been my experience, I’m sure there are those who aren’t. Those in the appropriate position want things their way, even if it doesn’t benefit the company at all.

I cheifly work via telecommuting and, thankfully, my two fields of work don’t normally pay an hourly rate. Everything is handled via assignments or projects and is salaried. That still doesn’t matter. Any job I’m given with our local companies, I am paid little, and it’s always temporary. During any interview, it changes when they learn my son is autistic.

Friends of mine, with non-autistic children, have attended interviews only to be told, “you should forget you have children while you’re working with us.”

This is something real and legitimate and worthy of attention. Businesses may be thinking of their bottom-line, but shouldn’t forget that knowledgable, loyal employees are often worth any extra effort.

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January 10, 2008 at 2:51 pm by Anonymous

Hi,

I’m a man, also employed in academia and a state employee. There is a reason we pay union dues in my state. You should definitely not be going through this alone and your union needs to get involved.

The bar association in my state has a referral service where you can sit down and talk to an attorney for a nominal fee. I had to do this for a situation similar to yours and it made a big difference to be able to say that a lawyer (not a colleague, not a friend or a spouse) thinks you’ve got a legal case.

On top of the travails of parenting, there really are yahoos out there who feel entitled to question our ‘professionalism’ when we take steps for our children’s welfare.

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January 10, 2008 at 4:15 pm by Anonymous

Hi –

I am really glad you are bringing up the other side of the argument. I can’t say that I can comment on ideas on how to run a small companies because I have only worked in large corporations. Allow me to share some of my thoughts.

In August of this past year, I left my very demanding job to become a stay at home mom. My former employer begged for me to stay but I didn’t despite many rounds of negotiation. A few months after my resignation, I was asked by my former company to return as a “consultant” to work on projects, work from home and be paid on an hourly basis. I decided to give it a try.

Despite my stellar record at the company and my reputation for “getting things done unless hit by a train”, my new work arrangement has caused my colleagues to micro-manage my work by 1) Obtaining view into my calendar to view my personal vs. work hours; 2) Question my ability to work 15 hour days (quick turn around to inquiries).

I requested that instead of scrutinizing my work schedule, the company should set real project metrics and measure my performance accordingly such as 1) did I meet the timeline? 2) did I deliver quality work? 3) Was I engaged when I needed to be?

The company avoided setting these kinds of metrics… because if it is achieved by a MOM, it would not support their “work around the clock” philosophy.

By the way, they won’t be continuing my contract because I am not willing to take on a departamental responsiblitiy as a contractor.

Bottom line is, I believe and had hoped that with my stellar work ethics, my experience and a 5 year record of always being able to deliver, that a company or specifically my manager, would find creative and alternative ways to utilize my talent and not be restricted to a “full-time, full-commitment, lifestyle” like position. Do you mean to tell me that people don’t know how to define a project which has a beginning and an end, with deadlines and quality metrics? Do people just generally do not trust that moms that work at home can product quality work?

To me, it is about willingness on the part of the manager, changing the company culture and attitude and employment legislation that can turn this around. My ideas are for example:

1) Create more opportunities for flexible work — meaning create project based workload that are not tied to a corporate clock.
2) Fewer business meetings — many of which are of waste, to allow for more flexible work to be created
3) Expand employee base — do not restrict positions to full-time, on the premise, work

I have done years of consulting in organizational effectiveness for many years and have noticed that many companies are not very creative in they way they staff their needs. Perhaps in a non-legislative way, there could be a movement to help companies who want to, employ management practices outlined above. Specifically, training or consulting assistance around flexible job description, project management that carves out alternative workloads, how to work with “off site” / “project-based” employees.

Thank you for listening

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December 30, 2007 at 3:22 pm by Linda

I agree with every word in your post. But I want us all to think about something while we work to solve this problem.

Before I tell you what that is, for the record, I went back into the work force as a single mother with a 22 month old child. Thankfully, we survived and my child is now 30 years old. But on the way, I had every problem you mentioned and more.

As my career progressed, I eventually wound up being the president of 3 different financial insitutions. Credit unions to be precise. In those roles I was responsible for the successful running of those credit unions at which the most important aspect of my job was stellar customer service.

Now here’s what I want us all to think about:

How can we meet the needs of the women in our places of work and still keep the trains running on time?

That question generally doesn’t get asked in these conversations. The dialog is all about discrimination against working mothers which I agree is terrible and needs fixing. But what we don’t talk about is how an employer with say, 5 employees, all of whom are working hard non-stop all day, cover the work of the missing mom and still provide the business’s essential services? Someone is going to be trying to do the work of two people until Mom gets back.

Now what if there are 5 single moms in those 5 positions? There is a flu bug going around and the children of 3 of those women are all sick and 3 moms are staying home with their sick kids. Now what? There is absolutely no way to run the business with 2 employees. It is simply not possible.

I have had those problems as an employer many, many times. I also experienced rampant sexual harrassment on job after job before it was illegal (and since), virtually always been a victim of unequal pay, not been offered jobs, even though I was the most qualified because I was a mother of a small child, and on and on and on. I have definitely been on both sides of the fence.

While I have much sympathy and empathy for all women in the workforce facing these difficult and grossly unfair issues, I also have sympathy and empathy for the businesses trying to figure out what to do when a bunch of their workforce is home with sick kids.

So I challenge all of us to think about the other side of this equation and come up with some good ideas for practical solutions for businesses at the same time we are asking for fair and equal treatment on the job. Because whether we admit it or not, single mothers cost businesses more than any other demographic in lost time and productivity and I understand, although certainly do not condone, why businesses discriminate against working mothers. In some cases, it’s the only way for a small business to stay in business.

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January 9, 2008 at 12:21 am by Anonymous

In NJ, it is against the law for an employer to ask a potential employee personal questions that do not pertain to the job, such as their marital status and whether or not they have children. You can only imagine my horror and dismay when my sister, a childless business owner, admitted to me that her business partner (married man with twin boys), when interviewing women, would purposely start to talk about his children. It is only natural for a mother to ask about age or sex. He would answer her, putting her at ease, and then the conversation appears to be on a more personal note, leaving him open to reply to her questions and then reply “And you?” I am usually quite proud of my sister, but at that moment, I was horrified and ashamed to admit we are related. If a man applied for the same position, education and knowledge between him and her exactly the same, he would get the job.
For working women in NJ, beware of personal questions, ie, age, marital status, children, sexual orientation, and so on. Others will try to throw you off, and you could end up losing out on the job.

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January 9, 2008 at 1:43 pm by Anonymous

Maternal Profiling is not just a buzzword! A few weeks ago I was called on a Sunday to come in for a same day interview in a law office. I dropped my 7 year old at a friend’s house and went in for the interview. After 3 hours of interrogation I asked to step outside to make a phone call. “Why?” I was asked. “I dropped my daughter off at a friend’s house and need to make sure they are ok with me being gone this long”. “How old is your daughter?”, “What are you going to do if she is sick?”, “Are you sure you can work the hours I require?” and other questions followed. It was made clear that my potential employer was not happy with my maternal state, in spite of her being a mother herself. Surprisingly, I was offered the job. Unsurprisingly, I turned it down. Who wants to work for a lawyer who asks illegal questions in a job interview!

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January 5, 2008 at 2:08 pm by Anonymous

I have a Masters degree in education, and I have two children. A few years ago, I sought to change my employment from the preschool I had taught in for fifteen years to something closer to home. I interviewed with a variety of pre-K facilities, one of which brought the whole issue of Maternal Profiling to my attention: after a lengthy interview, in which my high quality, consistent experience boded well for my being considered for a position, my interviewer asked me about my children’s ages. I described my sons, including the fact that the younger, age 4 1/2, had recently been going to speech therapy twice a week. The interviewer didn’t reply, just determinedly closed the file of my information she was holding, pushed it back, and thanked me for my interest in her school. I was amazed to observe this behavior, and instantly I knew that I had uttered the ultimate taboo in a childcare facility: my own children had needs.
If she had taken the time to ask, I could have told the interviewer that my child’s speech needs would be handled at his elementary school without requiring my participation or time. I could also have explained that my husband’s job permitted him to stay home and be the caretaker when our children were sick. But she did not, and in the weeks to come, I encountered more schools whose directors asked point-blank if my children were healthy, as if the health of the preschoolers attending the school, or even my own health, were not at issue.
In the end, I left the childcare field altogether, and I teach in public education as a free-lance specialist.

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December 30, 2007 at 3:07 pm by Anonymous

In every job interview I have ever had I have been asked if I had children. When I answer yes the inevitable response is “will that be a problem for you?” or something along those lines…..
I have found this interesting (as well as extremely annoying) and my standard response now is “no….will it be a problem for YOU?” That always makes them uncomfortable

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December 30, 2007 at 3:19 pm by Hannah Sassaman

organize around the idea of maternal profiling on a local level? I can imagine that city councillors, state represenatives and senators, and many other elected officials would be open to meeting with mothers’ groups, church groups, or parent-teacher associations, to learn about this issue and what they can do about it.

We can start by making sure that public jobs are equal jobs, and that maternal profiling isn’t used by our elected officials when they hire their own staff, and make important hires for jobs in our cities and towns.

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December 30, 2007 at 3:27 pm by Maggie

This happened to me in its extreme form about 1976. My younger child was nine. This was a part-time secretarial job, and while I did not need the money for food and shelter, I desperately needed some pursuit outside my isolated home, and some income I could call my own. The boss who interviewed me asked if I had children, and being told I did, began to lecture me about how not staying at home would amount to gross negligence. I felt the injustice of this, but I couldn’t think of anything to say.

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December 30, 2007 at 3:31 pm by Anonymous

I have been a victim of Maternal Profiling/ Discrimintation from my previous employer. I was hired under a grant to perform duties x,y,and z. Prior to hiring me, they asked “How will you perform these duties while on Maternity Leave?”. I came in to work to complete tasks while on my maternity leave, and completed the remainder of the tasks before and after my leave. When it came time to get compensated, my school administrators told me that I was going to be paid “per diem”- not including the time I was out on leave, conveniently after the job was completed. Fair??!! Even worse, it was by a school system…..looking out for our teachers and Moms of our children!

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December 30, 2007 at 3:51 pm by Amy

Seriously… My life and career path has not made it possible for me to settle down and have children – HOWEVER – this does not keep people from discriminating against me by either “assuming” that, since I’m in my early 30′s, I either HAVE children, or PLAN TO have children soon.. as if they can hear my biological clock ticking, or feel that my life must not be complete without having a husband and children. I don’t even have children, and likely do not plan to get married, let alone have any children, BUT, this certainly does not keep people from asking me the same ridiculous questions like.. are you going to get married? why not? do you have children? why not? are you planning to get married? are you planning to have children? will you need to take time off for a honeymoon vacation? for maternity leave? will this effect the time you will spend at work? will you want to quit when you get married/have children? will you want more flexibility if that happens? OH PLEASE!!! First, nobody has the right to ask me these questions (the only people who have any slim ability to ask these questions would be my family, my very close friends, and the person I might happen to be in a relationship with). Second, nobody at my corporation has the right to second-guess my loyalty, time-served, future plans, or promotion potential based on any unfounded and/or uninformed assumptions about my future plans for marriage and/or children. This just plain makes me ANGRY! Women, especially women with children, and even moreso single mothers, have an unbelievable strength and ability to organize, prioritize and overcome obstacles – they may need flexibility at times, of course, but who doesn’t? There is a movement towards more workplace flexibility for women AND MEN with and without spouses, with and without children due to the increasing pace of our work and ever-advancing technologies. Employers should be clamoring to be the first to hire these talented and loyal women at wages EQUAL TO or GREATER THAN those of men!

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December 30, 2007 at 3:54 pm by Anonymous

I was part of the upper management team at a start-up company backed by lucrative venture capital funding. The initial phase of the operation had a structure that included a President and six division heads. Of the six divisions, two (one of which I was the head of) were income producing units. At the end of the initial roll-out, and as the company grew tremendously and was successful, a new structure was put into place. Of the six division heads, one left for another job offer. Four were promoted to the position of vice president of their division. One (me- the only woman) was pregnant and even though my division was the leading income producer for the entire company, I was told that I would retain my title of director. There would be other opportunities for me to grow in the very near future. Translation – you are pregnant and might leave, so we won’t give you all these benefits (which included stock options, larger salary, and numerous other perks and benefits). I was foolish and truly believed that I could “prove” myself (as if all the $ I had already raked in hadn’t!) so I stuck around for two more years until they finally woke up and I got my coveted title. I endured lots of “don’t you want to be home with your children” remarks as well as lots of resentment from the men whose wives were all stay at home partners. I missed out on two years of salaries, bonuses, options, etc. that were given to men who did little to enhance the company’s bottom line. I was the epitome of a foolish woman. I hope that in the last ten years, things have progressed enough that no woman has to go through what I did. All because I had the audacity to get pregnant!

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December 30, 2007 at 4:27 pm by Elaine Terriss

THIS IS HARDLY NEW. I worked for a temp agency, had a secretarial position in large firm, my pregnancy was undeniable. The firm was looking for a permanent replacement for the position I was holding temporarily and I applied for it. I think they were surprised I would even apply – given “my condition”. They asked if I seriously planned to return to work after the birth of my baby; I said I did. I was really very good at my job and my boss would have been truly sorry to see me go. Apparently, I’d convinced them of my sincerity and after a short time I was hired as a permanent employee. THE QUESTION WAS PUT TO ME OVER 35 YEARS AGO. To think that the question is being asked still – and of women who are not yet but who may become pregnant shows how little progress we have made in the workplace. The flex time which was introduced many years ago has not made much progress; neither has nursery space in the workplace. I suggest women are doing something wrong, insufficient to the cause. A new paradigm is required and we must brainstorm to get it right. “IF YOU KEEP DOING THE SAME THING, YOU WILL GET THE SAME RESULT.” Radical change is required. It will, undoubtedly, take RISK and SACRIFICE… along the lines of striking and boycotting.
One of OUR generations has got to be willing.

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December 30, 2007 at 5:10 pm by Anonymous

In 1994, I interviewed for an administrative assistant position in a public elementary school in my town (2 position were open). I was interviewed by 2 principals while the HR director managed the conversation (all males). One of the principals actually asked me, “Will you be having any more children?” The HR director nearly blew a gasket, I answered, “Will YOU be having any more children?” The gentleman was obviously over 65, and laughed long and loud. The other principal chided him, saying it was his turn now. While I did not get hired at that time for any of those openings (I was hired as a “floater” about 3 months later), the elder principal’s administrative assistant (hired instead of me) left after having a baby about a year later, he hired me without a second interview. We worked together almost 9 years. Over that time, I hope I reacted to his outdated and sometimes ridiculous treatment of women in an “each one teach one” manner. I left to finish my MS in Sociology (started my AS while in the position), became a college instructor and eventually an administrator at a small college (been there almost 5 years now). Maternal profiling is continual – even to the point where it is assumed women must be bullied into putting their jobs before their families. We seem to be perceived as incapable of balance. I have been passed over for promotion, and advised to keep my emotions in check on the one hand, keep energy high on the other. My mothering “instincts” are too “strong” as I deal with students. Maternal profiling goes further than the expectation women of a certain age will leave to have babies.

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