The Muffin Top Manifesto
Today is my 45th birthday, and a few nights ago I witnessed a crazy, yet common, conversation among friends. Five women my soccer team (not my kid’s soccer team—my soccer team), poked and prodded their bellies, lamenting about their muffin tops.
You know this conversation. You have had it. I have had it.
And once the first gal starts, it takes 5.2 seconds for the rest to chime in about crunches, diet, stretch marks and extra skin around what one woman calls her “marsupial pouch.” Another player claimed to be using her belly as storage for a spare organ, should she need one in the future.
These incredibly strong, smart, athletic women, who have produced and raised several babies, traveled the globe, tended the sick, influenced public policy, and nurtured future scientists were bemoaning the loss of their abs.
Well, not me.
On my 45th birthday, I am embracing my muffin top. Not just making peace with it, but celebrating it. I refuse to buy into the idea that I am supposed to maintain the body of a 22 year old after experiencing life for an additional 23 years on this planet.
My body is awesome! It propels me with relative ease from place to place, both on and off the soccer field. And if my life experiences have left me with a few scars and more a Rubenesque silhouette, well then, so be it.
So today I give you a new movement. A rise to power and a requiem for Spanx. I present:
The Muffin Top Manifesto --What America's Muffin Tops Want and What to Do About It
1. Salty popcorn with Tobasco
2. Dark beer
3. Caftans to become a fashion trend
4. Buffalo mozzarella
5. Real cream in coffee
6. Jammies with a wide waistband
7. Low rise jeans
8. Buffalo mozzarella
9. Bloody Mary's with brunch
10. A little respect
From now on, I am going to love and nurture my muffin top. I’m off to feed it an actual muffin right now. Who’s with me?!!!